TED演讲：5种方法帮你与人建立更牢固的关系

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在对技术依赖程度高的文化中，很难与人建立真正的关系，尤其是在工作场所。罗伯特·雷夫金（Robert Reffkin）分享了他在工作中建立真实联系的技巧。

 演讲者：Robert Reffkin

演讲题目：与人建立更牢固关系的5种方法

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So when was the last time that you wrote a handwritten note? It's probably been a while.
那么，你最后一次写手写笔记是什么时候？可能已经有一段时间了。 [The Way We Work][我们的工作方式] Technology has changed the way we communicate. We send emails, not letters, text messages, not phone calls. We order delivery instead of cooking dinners in our kitchen. All in the name of efficiency. But here's the point. Technology has made it easier to communicate. But it hasn't made it easier to connect with other human beings.技术改变了我们的沟通方式。我们发送电子邮件，而不是信件，短信或电话。我们点餐而不是在厨房里做饭。一切以效率为名。但这就是重点。技术使交流变得更加容易。但这并没有使与其他人的联系变得更加容易。 I've found that the secret to connecting in the high-tech, fast-paced world that we live in, is doing a few small things the old-fashioned way.我发现，我们生活在高科技、快节奏的世界中进行相互链接的秘诀是，以传统的方式做一些小事情。 Write a letter. I've written thousands of handwritten notes. Thanking people for advice, thanking them for an interview. It just puts that extra effort to show someone that you really care and that you're willing to go above and beyond.写一封信。我已经写了数千本手写笔记。感谢人们的建议，感谢他们的采访。它只是以一种比过去更用心的方式，需要你付出额外的努力才能向某人展示你真正的关心。 Some advice for writing a thank-you letter is to really make it clear to the person that you're writing to the impact that they have had on your life. Talk about something specific. Like "Thank you for the advice that you gave me. It's because of the advice you gave me, that I am now doing x." People are looking to make a difference. And so if you can show someone that they've really had an impact on the life that you're living, the life you're pursuing, it could have a huge impact.写一封致谢信的一些建议是，要使收信人清楚，他们给你的生活带来哪些影响。你可以谈论一些特定的东西。就像“谢谢您给我的建议。正是由于您给我的建议，我现在在做x。”人们希望有所作为。因此，如果你可以向某人表明他们确实对你的生活，所追求的生活产生了影响，那么这封信将产生巨大的影响。 Pick up the phone and dial. We've hired thousands of employees. And I've personally called every single one of them to welcome them to the Compass family. I'm able to set the tone of really what I want the company to be. Where, you know, people go above and beyond to make people feel welcomed and to give people a sense of belonging. And sometimes I call people on their last day of work. When people leave, sometimes they're more transparent than they ever were when they were still at the company. And so it's a great opportunity to get feedback that is very hard to get otherwise.拿起电话并拨号。我们已经雇用了数千名员工。我亲自打电话给他们中的每一个人，欢迎他们加入Compass家庭。我能够为我想要的公司定下基调。你知道，这是一种前所未有的，可以让人们感受到受欢迎并赋予他们一种归属感的方式。有时我会在工作的最后一天打电话给他们。当他们离开时，他们会比在公司任职时更加坦白。因此，这是获得平常很难获得的反馈的绝好机会。 Ask interesting and meaningful questions when you get outside of the office. When I'm traveling the country, every night I'll have dinner with people in the company. And I like to ask questions like "What's your underlying motivation? What's something that's happened this week that meant a lot to you?" And when you go around the table, and people really open up and are able to engage, it sets a different tone. When people come back to the office, they can see each other and they know each other in a deeper way.当你不在办公室时，提出有趣且有意义的问题。当我出差旅行时，每晚我都会与公司里的人共进晚餐。我想问一些问题，例如“你的潜在动机是什么？本周发生了什么事情，对你来说有很多意义？” 当你们围坐在桌子旁，大家真正开放并能够参与进来时，它会设置不同的语调。当大家再回到办公室时，会增加他们见面的意向，并且彼此之间有更深的了解。 Answer questions with honesty. You know how it feels when you go into an elevator and someone says, "How was your weekend?" It could've been the best weekend ever, you could've met the love of your life, and you would say, "Good, how was yours?" If you want to connect with people, then you have to open up. I'm not always that good at it, and I imagine most people aren't. But that's why being open stands out so much, because most people aren't.诚实地回答问题。你知道乘坐电梯时的感觉，有人说：“你周末过得怎么样？” 你可能遇到了一生的挚爱，遇到一个你想结婚的人，然后你会说，你会说：“很好，你过得怎么样？” 如果你想与人交流，则必须开放。我并不总是那么擅长，而且我想大多数人都不是。但这就是为什么开放是如此重要的原因，因为大多数人都不是。 Turn the video on. I would always recommend a videoconference over a phone call. Because that's when you can see the real personality come out. When you're on video, you're forced to be present. It's almost a forcing mechanism to be in the moment.打开视频。我总是建议通过电话进行视频会议。因为那时候你才能看出真正的个性。观看视频时，你不得不参加进来。此刻几乎是一种强制机制。 Nobody succeeds alone. The more you can take time to develop genuine, authentic relationships, the more you're going to be able to realize your dreams. You're going to be able to take big risks and know that there's a network of people to cheer you on and to support your efforts.没有人能独自成功。建立真正的、真诚的关系所需的时间越多，实现梦想的能力就越高。你将能够承担巨大的风险，并且知道后面会有人不断为你加油，不断支持你向前进。

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