TED演讲：我们为何要相爱？

经典节目

口语积累

资源下载

爱情是什么？它浪漫又美丽，让人如痴如醉，却也会令人伤心，我们为什么需要爱情，一些哲学家曾经讨论过……

TED视频TED演讲稿

Ah, romantic love - beautiful and intoxicating, heartbreaking and soul-crushing, often all at the same time.

啊...浪漫的爱情啊，美好又令人痴醉，伤心又断魂，通常所有的感觉会同时汇集在一起。

Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer?

我们为什么总是用它来折磨自己呢？

Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering?

爱会让我们的生命有意义吗？亦或它使我们从孤寂和痛苦中解脱？

Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a trick of biology to make us procreate?

还是用来掩饰我们对性的欲望吗？还是说它是身体戏弄我们去繁衍后代的一个手段？

Is it all we need? Do we need it at all?

爱是一切吗？我们真的需要爱吗？

If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet.

如果说爱情是有目的，自然科学和心理学上至今却对此都没什么发展。

But over the course of history, some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories.

但在历史的长河中，一些我们敬佩的哲学家曾推出过一些有趣的理论。

Love makes us whole, again.

爱情使我们再一次变得完整。

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in order to become complete.

古希腊哲学家柏拉图探索了“爱让我们变得完整”这一理念。

In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which Aristophanes, a comic playwright, regales the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures with four arms, four legs, and two faces.

在《会饮篇》中，他描述了一个晚餐派对，派对上，一位喜剧作家，阿里斯托芬，讲了如下这个故事来娱乐在场的宾客：人类曾是拥有四个臂膀，四条腿和两张脸的生物。

One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus sliced them all in two.

有一天，他们惹到了众神，于是宙斯就把他们都一劈两半。

Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself.

从此以后，每个人都缺失着自己的另一半。

Love is the longing to find a soulmate who'll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that's what Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party.

爱是渴望找到一个能让我们再次感到完整的灵魂伴侣。至少，这是柏拉图所相信的一个喝醉的喜剧演员在派对上讲的话。

Love tricks us into having babies.

爱哄骗着我们有了小宝宝。

Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer maintained that love based in sexual desire was a voluptuous illusion.

很久很久以后，德国的哲学家亚瑟·叔本华坚称爱是基于性欲的，它是一种撩人的幻想。

He suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken.

他提出我们相爱是因为我们的欲望引导，我们相信另外一个人能让我们快乐，但我们其实错了。

Nature is tricking us into procreating, and the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children.

我们的本性在诱使着我们繁衍后代，我们所寻找的爱的融合生出我们的儿女。

When our sexual desires are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tormented existences, and we succeed only in maintaining the species and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery.

当我们的性欲得到满足时，我们会重返我们痛苦焦灼的存在，我们繁衍只是为了延续我们的种族，然后持续循环着这人生的痛苦。

Sounds like somebody needs a hug.

听着好像有人需要抱抱了呢。

Love is escape from our loneliness.

爱是从孤单中的解脱。

According to the Nobel Prize-winning British philosopher Bertrand Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological desires.

根据诺贝尔获奖者，英国哲学家，博特兰·罗素所言，我们用爱来慰藉我们身体和心理上的欲望。

Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex is unsatisfying.

人类生来就是为了繁衍的，但没有充满激情的爱来做迷幻剂的话，性也是无法令人满足的。

Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect and isolate ourselves.

我们对冰冷又残酷的恐惧促使我们修炼出坚硬的外壳来保护并隔绝我们自己。

Love's delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life.

爱的愉悦，亲密，和温暖帮助我们克服对这世界的恐惧，逃脱我们孤独的外壳，让我们更完全的参与到生活中来。

Love enriches our whole being, making it the best thing in life.

爱让我们整个人感到富足，所以它成了生命中最棒的东西。

Love is a misleading affliction.

爱是种容易被误解的苦难。

Siddhārtha Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or the Enlightened One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell.

悉达多·乔达摩，那个为人所知修成佛的，成功受到教化的人，或许能和罗素有一段很有趣的争论。

Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires.

佛说，我们爱是为了满足我们最基本的欲望。

Yet, our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great source of suffering.

但是，我们充满激情的渴望反而成为我们的缺陷，而依恋，即使是浪漫的爱情，也会成为强大的痛苦源头。

Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can reach Nirvana, an enlightened state of peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion.

幸运的是，佛发现了八正道，一个能使我们消除杂欲的套路，这样我们才能达到重生，一个令人愉悦的境界，充满了平和，清静，智慧和怜悯。

The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in one of China's greatest classical novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber."

小说家曹雪芹描述了这样一种佛教信仰，浪漫的爱情在一本名著里是充满讽刺性的，《红楼梦》。

In a subplot, Jia Rui falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him.

在书中的一个情节中，贾瑞爱上了王熙凤，尽管她戏弄并羞辱了他。

Conflicting emotions of love and hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him as long as he doesn't look at the front of it.

爱和厌恶的矛盾让他近乎崩溃，一个道士给了他一个魔镜，告诉他这个魔镜可以帮他度过这个痛苦，只要他不去看这面镜子。

But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng.

但是贾瑞不出意外的看了这面镜子。他在镜子中看到了王熙凤。

His soul enters the mirror and he is dragged away in iron chains to die.

他的灵魂进入了这面镜子，肉体便被死神的锁链拉走了。

Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the moral of this story is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided.

但不是所有的佛教徒都这样理解浪漫的爱情和性欲，但是整个故事的伦理尤其是这个充斥着魔法的悲剧和这个邪恶的魔镜一样，应该被消除。

Love lets us reach beyond ourselves.

爱情让我们找到更棒的自己。

Let's end on a slightly more positive note.

让我们在一个更积极一点的理论中结束。

The French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another and that it infuses our lives with meaning.

法国哲学家，西蒙娜·德·波伏娃提出，爱情是探索彼此的欲望，并且让人们的生活更有意义。

However, she was less concerned with why we love and more interested in how we can love better.

但是，她并没怎么解释相爱的原因，她更关心我们怎么样能更好的相爱。

She saw that the problem with traditional romantic love is it can be so captivating, that we are tempted to make it our only reason for being.

她发现了爱情中常见的问题，那就是爱情让人过于沉沦，我们往往倾向于把它当作唯一存在的理由。

Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence easily leads to boredom and power games.

然而，这种彼此依靠很容易引起厌倦和控制欲。

To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically, which is more like a great friendship.

为了避免这个问题，波伏娃建议人们应该相爱得更真实，把爱情看成更高一层次的友谊。

Lovers support each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together.

爱人间支持彼此的同时发掘自身的潜力，达到更好的自己，充实自己的生活并让这世界变得更好。

Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride.

尽管我们不知道我们为何相爱，我们可以确定的是这将是一场起伏颇多的旅程。

It's scary and exhilarating.

它会变的可怕，亦或是令人兴奋。

It makes us suffer and makes us soar.

会让我们痛苦，也会让我们心情高涨。

Maybe we lose ourselves.

也许我们会失去自我。

Maybe we find ourselves.

也许会让我们找到更好的自己。

It might be heartbreaking, or it might just be the best thing in life.

会让我们心碎，也会成为最好的一段经历。

Will you dare to find out?

你敢不敢试试？

RECOMMEND
推荐阅读我知道你“在看”