70岁生日之际，《失控》作者给的103条人生建议
原文：103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known -
https://kk.org/thetechnium/103-bits-of-advice-i-wish-i-had-known/
其实我只想翻译一句:
Criticize in private, praise in public.
归过于私室，扬善于公堂。
但翻着翻着就半天过去了...
这是王福强的第166篇原创
• About 99% of the time, the right time is right now.
99%的最佳时机就是现在、马上！
• No one is as impressed with your possessions as you are.
敝帚自珍，自己的东西才会珍惜且印象深刻。
• Dont ever work for someone you dont want to become.
你不想成为某种混蛋，那也别为这种混蛋工作。
• Cultivate 12 people who love you, because they are worth more than 12 million people who like you.
12个死忠粉也比1200万僵尸粉强，要精不要多。
• Dont keep making the same mistakes; try to make new mistakes.
别老犯同样错误，犯点儿新错误才有成长。
• If you stop to listen to a musician or street performer for more than a minute, you owe them a dollar.
遇到街头艺人，如果你驻足超过一分钟，那最好打赏一点儿
• Anything you say before the word “but” does not count.
“但是”之后才是重点。
• When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.
宽恕是自我救赎，宽恕别人其实是宽恕自己。
• Courtesy costs nothing. Lower the toilet seat after use. Let the people in the elevator exit before you enter. Return shopping carts to their designated areas. When you borrow something, return it better shape (filled up, cleaned) than when you got it.
做事得体，利人利己。
• Whenever there is an argument between two sides, find the third side.
陷入二元争论的时候，找找有没有第三种可能。（锻炼自己的开放式思维）
• Efficiency is highly overrated; Goofing off is highly underrated. Regularly scheduled sabbaths, sabbaticals, vacations, breaks, aimless walks and time off are essential for top performance of any kind. The best work ethic requires a good rest ethic.
张弛有度， 该工作工作，该娱乐娱乐。忌用力过猛！
• When you lead, your real job is to create more leaders, not more followers.
作为领导者，你应该培养更多领导者，而不是追随者。
• Criticize in private, praise in public.
归过于私室，扬善于公堂。
• Life lessons will be presented to you in the order they are needed. Everything you need to master the lesson is within you. Once you have truly learned a lesson, you will be presented with the next one. If you are alive, that means you still have lessons to learn.
人生就是慢慢被锤的过程， 只要你活着，就意味着你要继续被锤。
• It is the duty of a student to get everything out of a teacher, and the duty of a teacher to get everything out of a student.
学生的职责是求贤若渴，老师的职责是因材施教。
• If winning becomes too important in a game, change the rules to make it more fun. Changing rules can become the new game.
有趣比求胜更重要，如果一个游戏已经不好玩了，换一个。
• Ask funders for money, and they’ll give you advice; but ask for advice and they’ll give you money.
跟资助者要钱，他们会给你建议，但跟资助者要建议，他们会给你钱。（不耐烦！？）
• Productivity is often a distraction. Don’t aim for better ways to get through your tasks as quickly as possible, rather aim for better tasks that you never want to stop doing.
效率控通常会让你偏离（关键目标），不要尝试寻找更好的方法更快地完成你的任务，而应该寻找那些让你欲罢不能的更好的目标和任务。（沉浸其中自然带来效率，而不是为了效率而效率）
• Immediately pay what you owe to vendors, workers, contractors. They will go out of their way to work with you first next time.
财散人聚。尽快给你的工人和供应商付款，他们下次会更愿意跟你合作。
• The biggest lie we tell ourselves is “I dont need to write this down because I will remember it.”
我们最牛逼的自欺就是“我记得住，不用写下来”。（“好脑子不如烂笔头儿啊，大哥”）
• Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.
理性的成长以你打破“不愿”的对话的数量来衡量。（走出舒适区的次数，决定了你的成长高度）
• Speak confidently as if you are right, but listen carefully as if you are wrong.
自信的表达，谦虚的倾听。
• Handy measure: the distance between your fingertips of your outstretched arms at shoulder level is your height.
粗略估计：伸展双臂之后，两手之间之间的距离即是你的身高。
• The consistency of your endeavors (exercise, companionship, work) is more important than the quantity. Nothing beats small things done every day, which is way more important than what you do occasionally.
积跬步，至千里。坚持，坚持，坚持，重要的事情说三遍。
• Making art is not selfish; it’s for the rest of us. If you don’t do your thing, you are cheating us.
自私即利他。
• Never ask a woman if she is pregnant. Let her tell you if she is.
别问一个女人她怀没怀孕，（当她愿意的时候，）让她自己告诉你。
• Three things you need: The ability to not give up something till it works, the ability to give up something that does not work, and the trust in other people to help you distinguish between the two.
坚持该坚持的，放弃该放弃的，如果有值得信任的人可以帮你区分什么时候该坚持、什么时候该放弃，那就更好了！
• When public speaking, pause frequently. Pause before you say something in a new way, pause after you have said something you believe is important, and pause as a relief to let listeners absorb details.
公开演讲，把握节奏、适时的停顿很重要，可以在你转换说话风格之前停顿，可以在你说完重要事情之后停顿，更可以在你觉得听众需要事件消化的时候停顿。
• There is no such thing as being “on time.” You are either late or you are early. Your choice.
根本就没有“准时”这一说儿，要么早到，要么晚到，你自己定。
• Ask anyone you admire: Their lucky breaks happened on a detour from their main goal. So embrace detours. Life is not a straight line for anyone.
弯路也是路，人生没有一帆风顺，没落之时或许也是享受片刻安宁之日。
• The best way to get a correct answer on the internet is to post an obviously wrong answer and wait for someone to correct you.
获取最佳答案的最好方式就是：在互联网上放个错得离谱的答案，然后等别人来纠正你。
• You’ll get 10x better results by elevating good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior, especially in children and animals.
奖惩对结果的贡献度是不对称的，多奖少罚，尤其是面对小孩儿子与小动物的时候，奖励好行为要比惩罚坏行为效果要好10倍不止。
• Spend as much time crafting the subject line of an email as the message itself because the subject line is often the only thing people read.
标题党是合理的存在， 打磨标题花再多时间也不为过。
• Don’t wait for the storm to pass; dance in the rain.
不用等暴风雨过去，雨中也可以起舞。（活在当下，享受当下）
• When checking references for a job applicant, employers may be reluctant or prohibited from saying anything negative, so leave or send a message that says, “Get back to me if you highly recommend this applicant as super great.” If they don’t reply take that as a negative.
背景调查通常都是为了面子不好说坏话，但你可以换个方式做背景调查，比如，“如果你极其乐意推荐某人，请随时联系我”， 如果人家不联系你，说明人家只是碍于情面。
• Use a password manager: Safer, easier, better.
建议使用密码管理器（比如1password, bitwarden等）来管理密码：安全，简单，更好。
• Half the skill of being educated is learning what you can ignore.
学会摒除信息噪音可以省却一半的学习精力。
• The advantage of a ridiculously ambitious goal is that it sets the bar very high so even in failure it may be a success measured by the ordinary.
设置一个极具野心的目标的好处是，即使失败了，在普通人眼里也是一种成功。
• A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.
自省的最好方式就是认真对待任何让你恼怒的人和事。（正视自己的情绪？！）
• Keep all your things visible in a hotel room, not in drawers, and all gathered into one spot. That way you’ll never leave anything behind. If you need to have something like a charger off to the side, place a couple of other large items next to it, because you are less likely to leave 3 items behind than just one.
出差在外，自己的东西尽量明面上归置在一起，这样不容易忘记。像充电器这种小东西，边上放个大东西（形成视线关联），就不容易遗漏了。
• Denying or deflecting a compliment is rude. Accept it with thanks, even if you believe it is not deserved.
拒绝甚至曲意逢迎别人对你的称赞是不礼貌的，即使你觉得不值，也应该心怀感激接受。
• Always read the plaque next to the monument.
一定要阅读纪念碑旁边的牌匾。（机翻）
• When you have some success, the feeling of being an imposter can be real. Who am I fooling? But when you create things that only you — with your unique talents and experience — can do, then you are absolutely not an imposter. You are the ordained. It is your duty to work on things that only you can do.
有些成功让你觉得虚妄，只有你独特才能创造的东西才是真实的。做自己，做自己才能做的东西！
• What you do on your bad days matters more than what you do on your good days.
困境中之所为往往比顺境中所做更重要。
• Make stuff that is good for people to have.
做一些对人们有好处的东西。（机翻）
• When you open paint, even a tiny bit, it will always find its way to your clothes no matter how careful you are. Dress accordingly.
打开油漆的时候，不管你多小心，总会沾染上一星半点，所以，记得干什么活，穿什么行头。
• To keep young kids behaving on a car road trip, have a bag of their favorite candy and throw a piece out the window each time they misbehave.
路上旅行的时候， 如果你想让你的孩子们乖乖的，可以带上一大袋子他们喜欢的糖果，每次他们不听话的时候，就顺着车窗扔一颗出去 ；）
• You cannot get smart people to work extremely hard just for money.
你没法让聪明人为了钱而拼命工作。
• When you don’t know how much to pay someone for a particular task, ask them “what would be fair” and their answer usually is.
你不知道如何付钱给被人的时候，让别人自己开价就好了。
• 90% of everything is crap. If you think you don’t like opera, romance novels, TikTok, country music, vegan food, NFTs, keep trying to see if you can find the 10% that is not crap.
世上90%的东西对你来说都是垃圾，如果你不喜欢歌剧、言情小说、抖音、乡村音乐、素食、NFTs，那么，不妨去找找对你来说有意义的10%在哪儿。
• You will be judged on how well you treat those who can do nothing for you.
你如何对待那些对你来说无利可图的人，决定了你是什么样的人。
• We tend to overestimate what we can do in a day, and underestimate what we can achieve in a decade. Miraculous things can be accomplished if you give it ten years. A long game will compound small gains to overcome even big mistakes.
我们往往高估一天内我们能做多少事情，而低估了10年里我们可以成就的事业。做十年打算，可以成就辉煌。长期里， 小成就的复合增长甚至可以克服一些大的错误。（扶墙只能说Maybe，尤其是国内的环境）
• Thank a teacher who changed your life.
一定要感谢那些改变了你人生的老师。
• You cant reason someone out of a notion that they didn’t reason themselves into.
别人不愿，你就别劝。（按照我自己的理解翻译的，不一定对）
• Your best job will be one that you were unqualified for because it stretches you. In fact only apply to jobs you are unqualified for.
对你来说，最好的工作是你没干过的工作，只有没干过，才会给予你打磨。
• Buy used books. They have the same words as the new ones. Also libraries.
买二手书，反正内容都一样。藏书也是。
• You can be whatever you want, so be the person who ends meetings early.
早点儿开完会，这样你就能干你想干的事情了。
• A wise man said, “Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates. At the first gate, ask yourself, “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”
有智慧的人说话之前都要让要说的话过三关，第一关， 问问自己“这是真的吗？”， 第二关， “有没有必要说？”， 第三关， “说的话是善意的吗？”
• Take the stairs.
走楼梯。（应该是出于锻炼的目的？！）
• What you actually pay for something is at least twice the listed price because of the energy, time, money needed to set it up, learn, maintain, repair, and dispose of at the end. Not all prices appear on labels. Actual costs are 2x listed prices.
你所付出的要比商品的标价高两倍还不止，因为你付出的经历和时间这些远比你所付出的金钱更值钱。（隐性成本远远高于显性成本）
• When you arrive at your room in a hotel, locate the emergency exits. It only takes a minute.
到达酒店的第一件事儿就是确定逃生入口在哪儿，只要花费几分钟，但很救命。
• The only productive way to answer “what should I do now?” is to first tackle the question of “who should I become?”
搞清楚“我想做什么样的人”比“我现在应该干啥“更有效！
• Average returns sustained over an above-average period of time yield extraordinary results. Buy and hold.
【关于投资】高于平均投资周期的持续平均回报收益颇丰。买进并持有吧。（扶墙老师认为，在美国，这或许是一个合理的投资建议）
• It’s thrilling to be extremely polite to rude strangers.
以德报怨，极其少见。
• It’s possible that a not-so smart person, who can communicate well, can do much better than a super smart person who can’t communicate well. That is good news because it is much easier to improve your communication skills than your intelligence.
可能，不太聪明但善于交流的人比极其聪明但不善交流的人做得更好。这算是个好消息，因为改善交流技巧别改善固有智商要容易得多。
• Getting cheated occasionally is the small price for trusting the best of everyone, because when you trust the best in others, they generally treat you best.
被骗通常是收获信任所要付出的代价。
• Art is whatever you can get away with.
艺术可以让你摆脱一切烦恼？！
• For the best results with your children, spend only half the money you think you should, but double the time with them.
对于亲子关系来说，时间远比金钱更重要。
• Purchase the most recent tourist guidebook to your home town or region. You’ll learn a lot by playing the tourist once a year.
买下自己家乡或者地区的最新旅游手册，让自己每年作一回游客，你可以学到很多新东西。
• Dont wait in line to eat something famous. It is rarely worth the wait.
排队吃网红店，不值。
• To rapidly reveal the true character of a person you just met, move them onto an abysmally slow internet connection. Observe.
想要快速揭开一个初识之人的真正品格，让TA用下很慢很慢的网，然后观察TA的反应。（”What's the fuck? Fucking slow..." 还是“好慢呀”，抑或是慢慢的等...）
• Prescription for popular success: do something strange. Make a habit of your weird.
快速走红的秘诀：搞怪。
• Be a pro. Back up your back up. Have at least one physical backup and one backup in the cloud. Have more than one of each. How much would you pay to retrieve all your data, photos, notes, if you lost them? Backups are cheap compared to regrets.
专业点儿， 备份你的数据，遵循备份的123原则。如果你的所有数据、照片、笔记等资料都丢了，花多少钱也买不回来啊！备份比后悔便宜多了。
• Dont believe everything you think you believe.
不要相信你相信的所有事情。
• To signal an emergency, use the rule of three; 3 shouts, 3 horn blasts, or 3 whistles.
紧急的事情一定要说三遍，说三遍啊，说三遍。比如：喊三遍，鸣三次笛，吹三次哨。
• At a restaurant do you order what you know is great, or do you try something new? Do you make what you know will sell or try something new? Do you keep dating new folks or try to commit to someone you already met? The optimal balance for exploring new things vs exploiting them once found is: 1/3. Spend 1/3 of your time on exploring and 2/3 time on deepening. It is harder to devote time to exploring as you age because it seems unproductive, but aim for 1/3.
在探索（新人新事）与深耕（旧人旧事）之间，一比二的时间投入比例比较好，作者发现随着年龄的增长，这个比例更合理。
• Actual great opportunities do not have “Great Opportunities” in the subject line.
真正重大机会不会头顶上顶着”重大机会“告诉你。
• When introduced to someone make eye contact and count to 4. You’ll both remember each other.
新认识一个人， 目光接触的时候，心里默念4个数，你们将记住彼此。
• Take note if you find yourself wondering “Where is my good knife? Or, where is my good pen?” That means you have bad ones. Get rid of those.
如果你脑子里经常有”我那把好刀呢？“或者”我那支好笔去哪儿了？“这样的念头，那意味着你有一堆不好的刀或者笔， 把不好的都扔了吧。
• When you are stuck, explain your problem to others. Often simply laying out a problem will present a solution. Make “explaining the problem” part of your troubleshooting process.
教学相长。当你现在某个问题里出不来的时候，可以试着把问题解释给别人听。通常讲的过程中，问题的解决方案就浮出水面了。让”解释问题“成为你解决问题过程中的一部分。
• When buying a garden hose, an extension cord, or a ladder, get one substantially longer than you think you need. It’ll be the right size.
买水管啦，绳子啦，梯子啦之类的东西，尽量买长点儿。
• Dont bother fighting the old; just build the new.
别纠缠于旧的东西，打造点儿新的吧。
• Your group can achieve great things way beyond your means simply by showing people that they are appreciated.
只要对人们报以感激之情，他们会成就的事情远比你所预想的更好（超出预期）。
• When someone tells you about the peak year of human history, the period of time when things were good before things went downhill, it will always be the years of when they were 10 years old — which is the peak of any human’s existence.
十岁那一年是每个人人生路上的巅峰时刻？
• You are as big as the things that make you angry.
治怒。
• When speaking to an audience it’s better to fix your gaze on a few people than to “spray” your gaze across the room. Your eyes telegraph to others whether you really believe what you are saying.
在对听众讲话时，将你的目光固定在几个人身上比将你的目光 "喷射 "到整个房间更好。你的眼睛会向别人传达你是否真的相信你所说的话。（DeepL机翻）
• Habit is far more dependable than inspiration. Make progress by making habits. Dont focus on getting into shape. Focus on becoming the kind of person who never misses a workout.
习惯远比灵感更可靠。通过养成习惯来取得进步。不要把注意力放在塑身上。要专注于成为那种从不错过锻炼的人。（DeepL机翻）
• When negotiating, dont aim for a bigger piece of the pie; aim to create a bigger pie.
谈判时，不要为了分到更大的一块蛋糕，而是要创造一个更大的蛋糕。(DeepL机翻）
关于这一点，扶墙老师推荐《第3选择》这本书
• If you repeated what you did today 365 more times will you be where you want to be next year?
如果你重复365次今天所做的事情，你期望明年你会在哪儿？
• You see only 2% of another person, and they see only 2% of you. Attune yourselves to the hidden 98%
你只看到另一个人的2%，他们也只看到你的2%。让你们自己适应隐藏的98%。（DeepL机翻）
扶墙老师觉得，作者是想说，每个人表面表现出来的并不能代表一个人到底是什么样的。
• Your time and space are limited. Remove, give away, throw out things in your life that dont spark joy any longer in order to make room for those that do.
每个人的时间和空间都有限，把没用的都扔掉，为新灵感腾出新的空间。
• Our descendants will achieve things that will amaze us, yet a portion of what they will create could have been made with today’s materials and tools if we had had the imagination. Think bigger.
我们后台的成就往往会惊艳到我们，有一部分成就使用今天的材料和工具其实就能干，只要我们多点儿想象，所以，释放我们的想象吧，同志们 ；）
• For a great payoff be especially curious about the things you are not interested in.
保持好奇心，尤其是你不感兴趣的那些东西，你将收获更大。
• Focus on directions rather than destinations. Who knows their destiny? But maintain the right direction and you’ll arrive at where you want to go.
专注在方向上而不是目的地上。咱也不知道他们的最终命运如何，但保持正确的方向，起码可以到达我们想要去的地方。（过程是曲折的嘛，专注在方向上不会迷失。）
• Every breakthrough is at first laughable and ridiculous. In fact if it did not start out laughable and ridiculous, it is not a breakthrough.
不笑不足以为道。
• If you loan someone $20 and you never see them again because they are avoiding paying you back, that makes it worth $20.
如果你借给别人20美元，那你再也看不到他们了，因为他们不想还你，这个教训值20美元。
• Copying others is a good way to start. Copying yourself is a disappointing way to end.
模仿别人是一个好的开始，模仿自己则是一个可悲的结束。（没有创新了？）
• The best time to negotiate your salary for a new job is the moment AFTER they say they want you, and not before. Then it becomes a game of chicken for each side to name an amount first, but it is to your advantage to get them to give a number before you do.
谈薪酬最好的时机是公司告诉你他们想要你之后而不是之前， 之后，你占有谈判的先机和主动权。
• Rather than steering your life to avoid surprises, aim directly for them.
与其让你的生活远离惊奇，不如直接冲惊喜而去。
• Dont purchase extra insurance if you are renting a car with a credit card.
用信用卡租车，就别再买更多其它保险了。（国外特有的什么生活经验？）
• If your opinions on one subject can be predicted from your opinions on another, you may be in the grip of an ideology. When you truly think for yourself your conclusions will not be predictable.
如果你的观点大多雷同，那么你可能陷入了某种意识形态。如果真得用心思考，你每次的结论应该是不可预测的。
• Aim to die broke. Give to your beneficiaries before you die; it’s more fun and useful. Spend it all. Your last check should go to the funeral home and it should bounce.
以死后破产为目标。在你死前捐给你的受益人；这更有趣，更有用。花光所有的钱。你的最后一张支票应该交给殡仪馆，而且应该跳票。（DeepL机翻）
• The chief prevention against getting old is to remain astonished.
防止变老的主要方法是保持惊奇。（DeepL机翻）
By fq: 保持好奇心
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朋友们随手“在看”与“分享”就是对我最大的支持！