喜报 | 七度得奖！ZJUI2022级学生与数千英语母语使用者竞渡，斩获佳绩！

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近日，伊利诺伊大学厄巴纳香槟校区（UIUC）2023年春学期英文写作比赛赛果揭晓，ZJUI本科生又传佳绩。在ZJUI兼聘教师Mary Lucille Hays的指导和推荐下，ZJUI2022级土木工程专业学生严臻凭借独出心裁的选题、细致缜密的构思和生动活泼的行文，在与众多英语母语使用者的同台竞逐中一马当先，成功入选为UIUC本科生英文写作比赛获胜者（Winner）。

UIUC本科生英文写作比赛是基于其写作通识课开展的针对全校学生的比赛，每学期由专家评选出10~20名获胜者。据悉，获奖的文章或将被选入教材，成为范文供未来学生学习。ZJUI开设的两门英文写作课是UIUC写作课中非常经典的两门课程，Rhetoric 101-Principle of Writing（修辞101-写作原理）和Rhetoric 102-Principle of Research（修辞102-研究原理）。

严臻表示Rhet课程中教授的各种写作方法和经验都使他受益良多，不仅大大提升了他的英语写作水平，更是帮助他培养了阅读理解能力和写作思维。“我认为Rhetoric课程既基础又十分深奥。阅读、理解文献和表达叙述我们的观点对我们来说都是不可或缺的技能，而这门课程不仅教会我们如何使用规范的论文格式，如何完成不同的写作任务，它更是在教会我们理解与运用，将学习到的方法和技巧运用到我们日常的文献阅读和写作中。”

不仅如此，严臻还将自己获得的这项荣誉归功于他的指导老师Dr. Mary Lucille Hays。“Mary老师是一位体恤学生，尽职尽责的教师。她不仅对我的文章进行了极其细致的点评和讲解，更是教会了我创造性写作思维以及小组合作的重要性，正是Mary老师的潜心教导才成就了这样的荣誉。”

▲ Mary老师对严臻文章的点评

指导老师Mary对严臻的获奖毫不意外，她评价严臻是一个勤勉刻苦，敏而好学的学生。“严臻非常仔细地学习了课程中介绍的阅读分析方式，并将其运用在了一篇以自然保护为主题的文章中，巧妙地分析和把握了文章中论点的各个部分。他文笔优美，选题新颖，流畅地表达了他的观点，因此他能成为比赛的获胜者也就不足为奇了。”同时，指导老师Mary也祝愿严臻在未来继续以敏锐的智慧收获新的成功。

参赛作品简介及获奖感言

严臻

ZJUI2022级土木工程专业本科生

我参赛的文章名为Use New Words to Treat Living Beings as Families: Let’s Use Toulmin Analysis Method and Rhetorical Triangle。我所介绍的是两种阅读分析的方式：Toulmin Analysis Method 和 Rhetorical Triangle。我以一篇有关自然保护的文章为例，将这两种阅读分析方式运用其中。通过对文章脉络以及行文思路的大方向分析，我得出文章中心思路，即保护环境要从改变观念着手，可以通过改变对生物的称谓的方式来改善人与自然的关系。接着，我结合对具体句子的写作手法和不同句、不同段之间过渡的分析，得出文章的各个分论点以及各段写作的巧妙之处。通过具体分析，我将Toulmin Analysis Method 和 Rhetorical Triangle这两个阅读理解方式深刻地展现给读者，并强调了它们的重要性和使用要点。我相信不论是对Toulmin Analysis Method 和 Rhetorical Triangle有所了解还是没有接触过的读者都能从中获益。

从我初次踏进Rhet课堂，从懵懂启蒙到厘清英语写作的本质，Rhet课程中所教授的各种方法都使我受益良多，而我也在实际的文献阅读和写作中将所学付诸实践，慢慢形成清晰的思路和周密的逻辑。在这个过程中，我深刻体会到阅读理解与写作的重要性,这激励着我去更好地完成这样一篇科普性的文章，为读者提供非常实用的阅读分析方式。

我想告诉大家的是：对于写作，不断尝试与创作是至关重要的。稳步前行，等到回头，才发觉已经走了很长的一段路。

Swipe for the English version

A ZJUI undergraduate was awarded the Winner of UIUC Rhetoric Student Essay Contest

Recently, the results of the UIUC Rhetoric Student Essay Contest were announced, and ZJUI undergraduate has achieved great results again. Under the guidance and recommendation of ZJUI Adjunct Faculty Professor Mary Lucille Hays, Mr. Yan Zhen (‘26, Civil Engineering) participated in the competition with many native English speakers and was successfully selected as one of the winners of the contest with his unique topic selection, meticulous essay organization, and lively writing style.

Experts who judge the UIUC Rhetoric Student Essay Contest, based on the general writing course for all students who participated in the Rhetoric Program (RHET), select only 10~20 winners each semester. Essays of the winners may be published in the UIUC textbook I Write: A Writing Guide for the Undergraduate Rhetoric Program at the University of Illinois. The two English rhetoric courses offered by ZJUI (“RHET 101-Principle of Writing” and “RHET 102-Principle of Research”) are very classic in UIUC writing courses.

Yan Zhen stated that the various writing methods and experiences taught in the rhetoric course have benefited him a lot, not only greatly improving his English writing skills, but also helping him develop reading comprehension skills and writing thinking. “I believe that the rhetoric course is both fundamental and profound. Reading, understanding literature, and expressing our viewpoints are essential skills for us. This course not only teaches us how to use standardized formats in writing papers and complete different writing tasks, but also teaches us how to understand and apply the methods and skills learned to our daily literature reading and writing.”

Not only that, Yan Zhen also attributed the honor he received to his instructor-Prof. Mary Lucille Hays. Prof. Mary is a compassionate and responsible professor. She not only gave me extremely detailed comments and explanations on my articles, but also taught me the importance of creative writing thinking and group cooperation. It is Prof. Mary's dedicated teaching that has helped me achieve the honor.

Prof. Mary was not surprised by Yan Zhen's award winning. She praised Yan Zhen as a diligent and responsive student. “Yan Zhen carefully read and studied the reading analysis methods introduced in the course very carefully and skillfully analyzed and identified the various parts of the argument. He has an elegant writing style that gets his point across very well, so it was no surprise that he was one of the contest winners.” Prof. Mary also looks for good things in Yan’s future.

Yan Zhen

‘26, Civil Engineering

My essay’s name is “Use New Words to Treat Living Beings as Families: Let’s Use Toulmin Analysis Method and Rhetorical Triangle,” where I introduced two reading analysis methods- Toulmin Analysis Method and Rhetorical Triangle. I applied these two reading analysis methods to an article on nature conservation. Through an analysis of the overall direction of the article's context and writing approach, I have concluded that the central idea of the article is that protecting the environment should start with changing concepts, and the relationship between humans and nature can be improved by changing the way organisms are referred to. Next, based on the analysis of writing techniques for specific sentences and transitions between different sentences and paragraphs, I come up with the various arguments of the article and the ingenuity of each paragraph's writing. Through specific analysis, I presented the two reading comprehension methods, the Toulmin Analysis Method and the Rhetorical Triangle, to readers, emphasizing their importance and key points of use. I believe that readers who have some knowledge of the two methods, as well as those unfamiliar with them, can benefit from it.

From my first entry into the rhetoric course, from initial enlightenment to clarifying the essence of English writing, the various methods taught in the rhetoric course have benefited me greatly and I have also put what I have learned into practice through daily literature reading and writing, gradually forming clear ideas and rigorous logic. During this process, I deeply realized the importance of reading comprehension and writing, which inspired me to better complete such a popular science article and provide readers with a very practical reading analysis method.

What I want to tell is that for writing, constantly trying and composing is crucial. Steadily moving forward, and when you turn around, you will realize that you have already walked a long way.

图文 | 受访者提供

本期编辑 | 俞梦悦    责任编辑 | 张旖

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