WELL MIND: Can doing this one thing actually increase happiness?
By Rebecca A.
DO SIMPLE GRATITUDE EXERCISES ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
We ‘do’ gratefulness in our home. In fact, we have a JAR FULL of things we have been thankful for over the last three years, and it’s something we discuss almost every day at the dinner table - blue sky, family, hugs, coffee, playing at the playground.
A jar full of gratefulness
There’s beauty in being grateful for our experiences and the things we have, and according to research from the biggest global happiness research project ever, there’s a simple modification you can make to your regular gratitude practice that actually increases life satisfaction and decreases levels of depression.
IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, BUT ALSO ABOUT THE WHY.
The Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania is on a mission to discover what actually makes us happier. They develop dozens of difference exercises to test what can increase overall levels of happiness. One of the validated practices is the ‘What-Went-Well’ exercise, in which participants are challenged to keep a journal each evening and write three things that went well that day and WHY they went well.
During a recent low in my own life (thanks Covid-19), I decided to give this exercise a go and see if it would in fact improve my own mood and help me increase my levels of happiness during this tumultuous time.
The usual gratitude exercise of listing what I was grateful for didn’t seem to be making much difference - perhaps adding in the ‘why it happened’ would move me from surviving to thriving.
DID IT ACTUALLY WORK?
Day One and Two – ordinary days, with small things to be thankful for, and simple reasons for why those things had happened. It feels a bit awkward at first to write the why.
‘Laughed while playing a card game with the kids – it happened because I choose to ignore the dishes in the sink and play with them’
‘Worked out using an online workout – it happened because I got changed into my fitness gear and pressed play on my laptop’.
Day Three – I started to realize that the things that 'went well' were often happening as a result of intentional choices I was making.
‘Spent time chatting with my best friend – because I reached out and connected’
Day Four onwards – Increasingly I had this sense of power and control over my life and my own ability to improve my overall sense of wellbeing. I felt prouder in my achievements of fitness, of spending time playing with my kids, of creating more intimacy with my husband. I began to be more grateful for the strengths that I was witnessing in other people as well.
‘Sat outside in the sun with my coffee – it happened because I decided to drink outside instead of staying inside at the table’
‘My husband bought me coffee in bed and looked after the kids so I could read my book – because my husband is thoughtful and caring’
‘Spent time arranging flowers – it happened because I was intentional about doing something that would bring a beautiful sensory experience into my life for the day’
Those things I was most thankful for, the things that 'went well', were most often a result of my own choices, my thoughts, my sacrifices, my intentions, and my relationships with people.
I'm sure we all have highs and lows, and so I’m always looking for ways to ride out the darker times. My initial trials of the What-Went-Well exercise have definitely had a positive impact on me – I am more motivated, more intentional about choosing small things that will give me joy or a sense of accomplishment.
According to the studies on this particular exercise, levels of happiness continue to be higher after three to six months of keeping this daily practice. Whether this exercise will have a longer lasting impact on my wellbeing is still unknown, according to the studies it will, but it’s definitely one I’m willing to keep up because of the difference I am seeing now after three weeks.
Want to give it a go and connect with others about how it works (or doesn't) for you? Join our Well Women WeChat community group by messaging our official account.
For more information on the What-Went-Well exercise check out Martin Seligman’s book ‘Flourish’ or the Authentic Happiness project online from the University of Pennsylvania.
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