WELL PARENT | 7 Simple Ways To Connect With Your Child
There are seasons in life where my day whizzes past and in the busyness I feel like I forget to breath.
Do you know what I mean?
From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, it’s one task after another.
Actually, I KNOW that you know what I mean, because we’ve had this discussion recently in our Well Parent group.
(Want to join? Keep reading to find out how)
And with all the ‘busyness’ we forget to focus on what’s important – connecting with ourselves, and connecting with our loved ones.
If you were part of our recent 7 Day Positive Parenting Challenge you would have learned my favourite 7 preventative tips to help stay connected with your kids.
(Keep reading to find out what they are!)
Many of the moms who took part in this challenge did so because they are busy, and they wanted to connect more deeply in the limited time they have with their kids.
Here's the thing - connection isn't necessarily about 'QUANTITY'. It's about 'QUALITY'. By being intentional, you can flip from 'distracted' to 'present' and deepen that connection.
WHY IS CONNECTION IMPORTANT?
Connection gives life meaning and creates beautiful heart-stopping moments where you both know that ‘you matter’ and ‘you are seen’.
When kids feel connected, their need for significance and belonging is met. It helps kids feel safe and loved and they are more likely to cooperate and less likely to ‘act out’ or ‘misbehave’.
When our kids ‘act out’ and everyone is stressed, we cannot teach or correct behavior. We first need to CONNECT, CALM DOWN, and then we can CORRECT the misbehavior from a place of love and guidance instead of punishment and shame.
Try incorporating these 7 ‘PARENTS’ ways of connecting into your parenting as often as you can and see if you notice a change.
P – PAUSE: Find 5-20 minutes to simply PAUSE in the middle of whatever it is you are doing. Be still and notice your child/ren. Open your heart to see them as they are, without judgement. Then jump in and get involved with whatever your kids are doing.
A – AFFIRM: Compliment each of your children multiple times a day – choose the compliments that mean a lot and show that you really ‘see them’.
R – RELATE: Take off your “Mom Hat” for a moment and let your kids see a different side of you. Share stories of when you were a child that will make them laugh or show them you understand what it’s like to be a child. Or share stories of future hopes and dreams that will allow them to see a new side of you.
E – ENTERTAIN: Laughter is like a daily vitamin that you can take to keep your family life happy and healthy. Be silly on purpose, and make boring every day tasks like going to bed, or doing the dishes, fun.
N – NOTICE: Notice the little things your child is doing that say ‘I need your undivided attention’. Take those cues to give them the connection they need, or else you may find that your child’s efforts to capture your attention will become annoying and ‘naughty’ as they increase their ways to make sure you pay attention to them.
T – TAKE TIME FOR YOU: You sacrifice so much. You do so much. But in order to keep giving, and to have the energy and love and patience to keep giving, you need to look after yourself. What things give you life and fill your cup? Is there a long-forgotten hobby you could start doing? Could you spend more time talking to girlfriends on the phone? Or maybe you need to try cultivating your own beautiful Magical Morning routine. Whatever it is, find it and do it often.
S – SNUGGLE: “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Everyone needs physical touch and affection – even teenagers – so increase the touches. Hugs, snuggles, play wrestling, a pat on the back, a shoulder rub, or an arm around the shoulder all count.
All these things will go a long way to building respectful and intimate relationships with your kids, and prevent a lot of misbehavior.
However, it won’t solve all the problems.
Join me for an online 6 Week Positive Discipline Workshop Series and learn:
Why kids misbehave
How to be kind AND firm
How to regulate emotions so that you can solve problems
Alternatives to time out and traditional discipline
How to deal with sibling fighting
How to eliminate bedtime & morning battles
How to set up family meetings for connection and constructive problem-solving
And more…
DATES: Tuesday evenings, 8-9:30pm, 23rd Feb to 30th Mar 2021
WHERE: Zoom
PRICE: 1,200rmb
WHAT YOU’LL GET:
• 6 x weekly 1.5 hour webinars with optional 30 minute "Parents Helping Parents" problem-solving session following each webinar
• Simple weekly tasks that will make a difference
• Workbook
• Private supportive WeChat community
RECOMMENDED: Positive Discipline book by Jane Nelsen.
PLACES ARE LIMITED TO 20 PARTICIPANTS ONLY
If you’d like to join the workshop, our Well Parent WeChat group, or if you have any questions, please contact me by scanning the QR code below.
Originally from New Zealand, WellWomen co-founder Rebecca Archer considers herself a global citizen, and has lived in Australia, Canada, Nigeria and Indonesia and spent time in many more countries. She is just as at home paddling on the Delta Rivers in the Papua New Guinea jungle, as she is eating jianbing on the streets on Beijing. With a diverse background in media, marketing, events and education, Rebecca has written for the World Health Organization, BeijingKids magazine and various educational institutes in Beijing. Rebecca is a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator, offering Positive Discipline classes and online workshops to the expat community. The founder of the Clothing Auction Network, Rebecca is passionate about sustainable and ethical approaches to fashion and lifestyle.