小心！背这样的范文要出大事！

Original 小白老师医学博士英语 2024-05-02

小白老师说：很多考生朋友反映说市面上的真题书质量低劣，书中所给的范文，都是中式英语不说，语法和措辞还漏洞百出，其中多为低级错误。今天就拿市面上流行的某款真题书的一篇范文为例，分析一下里面的弱智错误。

下面这篇范文是来自“未来教育教学研究中心”出版的全国医学博士外语统一考试真题中的2014年真题的作文范文。

口说无凭，拍照为证，先祭出该范文真容照片一张：

为了方便大家看清楚，我把这篇范文又在键盘上敲了一遍：▼

Learn to Breathe to Have a Long Life

Life cannot go without breathing, but do you know the right way to breathe? According to a British survey and the statistics provided by the Chinese Respiratory medicine specialists, more than half of all people do not breathe properly.
  What benefits can abdominal deep breathing bring? In the first place, it can prevent respiratory diseases, such as asthma, chronic bronchitis and emphysema pulmonum. Deep breathing can gradually enhance muscle contractility and improve other functions to treat and aloeviate disease. Secondly, deep breathing may help people relax and reduce insomnia symptoms. Lu Yifan, Professor at Sports Medicine Department of Beijing Sport University, says deep breathing can help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep. What's more, deep breathing will prevent even cure high blood pressure, as found by a Japanese professor's experiment.
  Most importantly, deep breathing can bring longevity. In ask for vitality from breathing, American scholar points out, practicing deep bereathing with control can refresh your brain, regulate nverve system and help people relax.
  How can we learn to breathe properly then?
There are two key points, as Professor Lu suggests. One is to inhale as slowly, peacefully and deeply as possible, and the other is to exhale completely so as to discharge all the waste air. The most scientific breathing way is to inhale-pause(10 to 20 seconds)-exhale. Another way of breathing, proposed by Long Cunxiu, is called "whole breathing". As Long suggests, this kind of breathing can be practiced everywhere at any time, especially useful when faced with sudden negative emothins, prove efficiency, adjust mind and body, and stabilize mood.

这篇“范文”在提炼试卷中文原文的观点、把握行文逻辑上有重大问题，不能很好地总结归纳原文观点，在细枝末节上纠缠不清。这些先暂且按下不提。光看这篇“范文”的语法，就可以发现以下弱智错误：

错误一

Life cannot go without breathing, but do you know the right way to breathe?

错误：连接词使用不当。

这句话翻译成中文是“生命不能没有呼吸，但你知道正确的呼吸方式吗？”

可该句子逗号前后的两个分句之间根本不存在转折关系，这里用 but 来连接，逻辑关系明显错误，让人莫名其妙。

错误二

Lu Yifan, Professor at Sports Medicine Department of Beijing Sport University, says, deep breathing can help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep.

两处错误：第一，符号用错；第二，严重的中式英语。

首先这句话中 says 后面不应该再用逗号了。也许该范文作者是写到这里自己也觉得编不下去了，用个逗号停顿一下，喘口气好继续往下编吧。

其次，句中的“help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep” 是中式英语的低级表述，完全不顾英语里有没有这样的搭配和用法，自说自话地使劲把动词堆砌起来。

真的担心阅卷老师看到这样的句子会不会吐血。

错误三

In ask for vitality from breathing, American scholar points out, practising deep breathing with control can refresh your brain, regulate nerve system and help people relax.

错误：这句话介词用法不清楚。In 是介词，后面的动词要用动名词 asking，而不是动词原形 ask，这是非常低级的错误，基本的中学语法都没有过关。而且这个 in 用在这里很奇怪，看不懂范文作者想表达什么。

错误四