All I Asked. | Chapter IV
Previously On
All I Asked.
“This world always has its own way on hatching a plot to every sorrowful being.”
— — Author.
IV
When our eyes met again, it was a silent moment, a moment when both of us released all our painful memories. I looked into his eyes, and he looked into mine. I held his gaze and I stood there like a giant block of ice.
He tried to knock the warder over, but he failed. After a long grapple, he walked slowly towards me with heavy steps.
“Where the fuck have you been? Have you even thought about me? It was easy for you to just lie to me and disappear, wasn't it? Why….?” I couldn’t speak anymore, because I had too many things to say.
He looked into my eyes, and kept silence.
I was confused.
I couldn’t see any passion in his eyes, I saw the past year. I saw the moment when he was twitching from shocking, when he was screaming from flogging, and suffering from torturing. I saw emptiness, I saw the depths of despair, the apathy to this world.
He stood there silently, and stared at me like I was a stranger, or perhaps a lover.
“Say something, Owen,” I was scared of his dullness.
He handed me something through the mesh, looked me into the eyes, and kept silence.
“To my dearest lover, Daniel:
If you are reading this, then I have no regret for my life.
If you are reading this, I am dead already, at least my soul is.
I need to write this down before they could “correct” me, or in other words, destroy my mind.
No words could express my love for you, and no stars could compare with your flashing eyes.
We both knew there was no tomorrow, but we still collided together because of love.
Daniel. I am ready for everything that is coming next.
I have sometimes questioned our being.
But.
Every time I say to myself under the starry night to give you up, it seems to be harder and harder.
Now, I have infinite faith in you, in our love.
And I believe you have the same in me too.
We cannot hold back the nature of ourselves, even if it is wrong.
And we cannot run from ourselves anymore.
I love you.
It does not matter how this ends.
My dearest Daniel, let this be the way we remember us.
So why don’t we just play pretend like we’re not scared of what is coming next?
I love you,
Owen.”
He held me tight and I looked into his eyes.
The china blue reflected all the lament he had for this world, he had for our love. I knew he must have questioned himself, our relationship, and of course, me. He must have asked himself about whether we were “normal” or whether our love was a correct being. He must have looked into the sky through the rusted bars and said to himself whether he and I would meet again, or if I have already forgotten him.
I could see the answer in his eyes. All the pain and anger he had swallowed and kept inside have driven his mind numb, he had no emotions, his eyes gazed over.
I couldn’t keep the clam like he did, I couldn’t afford to let this only chance vanish. I didn’t believe in any nature or rules for humanity. I just could not bear to see all of this happening to him. Although my hands were numb and my body was shaking due to this freezing temperature, I used all the strength I had to climb up the meshes protected by the uncountable sharp edges of broken glasses to prevent escape.
The second I grabbed the mesh, Owen moved. Perhaps it was the purplish hands and the trembling body he saw, or the falling tears and the passion in my eyes, he finally started to speak with a voice of despair.
“Please Daniel, don’t do this for me, don’t hurt yourself for me.”
“No way,” I grabbed the mesh tight with the numb fingers.
“Daniel, there is no point doing this, there is no point dying with me,” he repeated this quietly again and again.
“All the points are dying with you,” and I climbed.
“Daniel, it does not matter how this ends, every story must come to an end,” he whispered to himself.
“It surely does matter to me! It fucking matters to me! What if I never love again?” And the glasses stabbed right into my palms, making the numb hands sense again. I did not care at all and I was ready for my last move, to jump over this metal web with all the strength I’d got and be with Owen no matter what.
I was ready for this last sprint, my hands were ready for me, and my mind was ready for him.
There was light flashing from the other side of this open field, Owen and I both knew it was the warders coming. I didn’t care about the warders, I surely didn’t, but Owen did.
“I’m sorry,”...
To be continued.
For The Previous Chapters:
All I Asked. |Every Friday 21:00 | See You Then.
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