5 Worst Kiss Stories From Date Night China Listeners
Say you're on a date. The evening has been going well, the electricity is flowing, the timing is right. You both lean in for a kiss...
And it's bad.
Very bad.
We've all been there. The kiss doesn't live up to your expectations, or something is just not matching up with you and your kissing partner's technique and rhythm.
Unfortunately this happens from time to time in the dating world. While we would all love to have an amazing first kiss, sometimes you end up kissing a frog... so to speak.
For Date Night China Episode 18 we asked listeners to submit some of their worst kissing stories. Maybe you'll be able to relate to some of these harrowing tales... if not, you're one of the lucky ones!
We only listed a few of the stories here! To hear the rest of the juicy stories, listen to Date Night China Episode 18: Kissing - The Hao, The Bu Hao, and The Chou.
Here are 5 Worst Kiss Stories from
Date Night China Listeners
1. He Forgot Where My Mouth Was
My horrible kisser was when I was "dating" this one person here a few months ago. I first kissed them when we were drunk so I didn't recall what it was like, but then we went on a date a few days later. During the date we kissed sober and it was like they completely forgot where my mouth was, and all they had was a huge tongue. Just all over the bottom half of my face.
2. Swollen Mouth
One of my worst kisses was back in college, and the person I dated didn't have so much dating experience. We were hanging out on a rooftop and it was like 9pm during the summer. He asked me for a kiss, and I thought why not. And then he kept kissing for an hour or more. It was going for soooo long, so I opened my eyes and looked at him to see if he had any thought to stop. He kept going , so obviously he did not.
With the chirping of crickets and biting of mosquitos around us, he finally stopped. Thank God! The next day my mouth was swollen.
3. Dead Fish Kissing
Worst kissing ever was in the states. He aggressively shoved his tongue into my mouth but then just dead fished it. And he had like a big-ass tongue so it was a mouthful. Really heavy saliva too. Was awful 🤣🤣 He also used to get drunk and say he was going to marry me, even though we weren’t dating. Now he’s engaged to somebody with the same name. Why is my life so weird. 🤣🤣
4. Cigarette Cereal
Was feeling super frisky one morning and invited a guy over who I’d chatted with on Tinder but never met in person. It was 8am and he was still drunk from the night before. He was also boring so to shut him up I kissed him.
Now, generally I don’t care to kiss guys who smoke but I’m also not super fussy about it like some wine snob, “is that a hint of Virginia tobacco I taste? Little oaky, robust flavor, fine vintage!”
This man, however, tasted like he’d had cigarette cereal for breakfast.
I literally cannot express how absolutely he tasted like cigarettes…for a moment I thought I was hallucinating and that *I* was the one smoking!
Needless to say I wanted nothing more than to stop kissing him so I redirected his mouth. He started kissing my neck and my only thought was “ugh…now my neck will smell like cigarettes.”
To save myself the further trauma of his kisses, I decided I’d just blow him…
Turns out he marinated his dick in cigarette cereal milk because his cock tasted like a cigarette…how is that even possible??!! I’m really not sure how he managed it.
The situation could not be salvaged and I asked him to leave.
Most disgusting kiss, hands down.
5. Lizard Kissing
Met a gorgeous Italian man with hair the colour of fire for a lovely walk in the park.
We were getting along great, so we decided to go back to my apartment. He went in for a kiss, the moment was great, the timing was right, but his lips were as stiff as cardboard. It was like he was pressing his face on mine and didn’t know what to do with his lips.
He stuck out his tongue like a snake - no soft massaging movements, no - it was like we wanted to penetrate my mouth with his tongue. I think it would have been similar to kissing a lizard. His hands were pinned to his side. I tried to tell him what I liked, but it was lizard tongue or nothing.
Thanks for the most memorably awful kiss, guy.
Share Your Own China Dating Stories
Thanks to our listeners for submitting these stories! Have a story of your own? Contact us and join our Wechat group to take part in our dating discussions.
Listen to Date Night China Podcast Episode 18: Kissing on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app!
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