Etiquette For Going Out To Bars With Friends
Ask Agony Aunt Moira is a DNC advice column by an anonymous Beijinger who gives sometimes savage, often hilarious, and always honest advice about dating and relationships in China.
Etiquette For Going Out with Friends
Be it a vaccine shot, or a tequila shot, we are all ready to get this summer started.
After the year we have had, with the uncertainties brought about by COVID-19, border closures in China, and the general uncertainty of the future, we are owed a stress-free summer.
But in the last year, many of us have let our standards slip. We have forgotten our best practices when it comes to interpersonal relationships and I feel it is time we were all pulled into the HR office for a quick refresher on how to conduct ourselves.
Note that I am including myself in this, because in the last year I have certainly caught myself sliding into ‘basic bitch’ behavior.
Now, it is understandable that after a global pandemic laced with global panic, mass hysteria, and general uncertainty about the future, etiquette becomes a luxury many of us can't afford.
And I am not talking about what fork to use with which course.
I mean how we treat each other; many friendships have suffered during the pandemic and it is time we salvage what can be salvaged, and prepare for new connections as and when they happen. Cuffing season is over, and as you look for your next summer fling, there is no one more important to help you along your way than your best biddy or bro.
But question is, have you been treating them with the respect they so rightly deserve?
Read until the end for some pro tips to keep you and your friends safe on a night out.
Bros before…..
We all know how that phrase goes. And for those who might not know what it means, it just basically means you should never choose a potential hookup or fresh partner over a good friend.
Now, this is subjective especially in such a transient city as Beijing with a massive turnover of foreigners (and locals), where we ultimately find ourselves with more ‘good time’ friends than ‘good life-long’ friends.
Don’t ignore a good friend on a night out for a love interest
This phrase doesn’t apply to your good time friends. If you are genuinely investing in a friendship with someone, then it is imperative that when you are out with this person, you don’t arbitrarily dump them for some fine piece of ass that crosses your path.
Don’t leave your friend without telling them where you are going BEFORE you leave
If you can walk and chew gum, then you can certainly pay attention to your new conquest without being a total douche to your friend. It is entirely inexcusable to pull an Irish goodbye for the chance of a hookup, leaving your friend at the club frantically looking for you, only for you to re-emerge several hours later with a lame ‘sorry, but he/she wanted to head out’ text.
That is the most basic of basic bitch behaviors!
No man/woman left behind
Needless to say, past midnight at any drinking hole or club in Beijing, the veil of propriety and dignity is lifted, and previously composed, flirty, attractive people transform into raving drunks.
It’s a good time to be had by all when the last of the night’s inhibitions fall away and you can truly let loose, and dance (even when some of you really ought not to dance in public, no offense).
But that sweet ‘tipsy’ spot doesn’t last long. It might be that we indulge too much, or we mix the most lethal of cocktails this city offers up in big gulp glasses, and just like that the rest of the night is royally f**ed!
It is not an uncommon sight to see someone previously in a large gaggle of friends, slumped alone in a corner, dosing off or puking. It might truly be one of the saddest sights to behold on an exciting night out.
It always makes me wonder, where are this person’s friends, and why did they feel it was okay to leave their friend unattended and vulnerable?
Even though it doesn’t seem to happen in this city (to the extent of my limited knowledge, I must admit) but sexual predators are out there. Leaving a drunken disoriented friend unattended is akin to a herd of gazelle leaving a limping foal out on open grassland. An absolute no-no if you are going out as a group.
Pro Tip For Taking Care of Friends
Have your friend’s Didi address as part of your automatic Didi list. Call your friend a cab if you are not planning to go home with them, and while you wait for the cab to arrive, ensure your friend remains hydrated. Chewable or dissolvable vitamin C tablets are also a godsend. Have them on hand every time you head out. They help deal with the ‘drunk’ far faster than just a tiny plain bottle of overpriced water.
With love, from your Aunt Moira.
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