It's Cuffing Season & People Are Coupling Up For Winter

The days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder, and maybe you've noticed people around you have started coupling up. 

This is a seasonal trend often called "cuffing season."

Urban dictionary defines it this way: "During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship." 

Essentially, people tend to enter committed (albeit temporary) relationships thanks to the cozy, stay-at-home vibes of the winter season. 

Many people agree that "cuffing season" takes its name from being handcuffed to someone you are committed to for the time being (though handcuffs aren't actually involved...unless you want them to be).

Cuffing Season Schedule

Cuffing season usually begins during the early fall and ends before Valentine's Day. The joke goes that you will have "try outs" for cuffing season where you will keep your options open and date several people to decide who you want to cuff with for the winter season.

To Cuff Or Not To Cuff?

Are you looking to cuddle up with someone this winter? If you are looking for (or already have) a cuffing buddy, the best thing to do is to be clear on both of your boundaries and expectations. Be honest about how you're feeling and what you feel comfortable with in your relationship.

Navigating Cuffing Season Pressure

If you're not looking to cuddle up with someone, that's okay, too! With the holiday season being right around the corner, the pressures of cuffing season might hit you at some point. 

For many expats who haven't been able to go home or be with their own family in almost two years, it may be especially hard during the holiday season. You may feel more pressure to have someone to date and spend time with during the holidays. It can definitely spoil the season.

Bustle Publisher interviewed Erica Zajac, a therapist at Brooklyn Minds, about cuffing season and the pressure to date. 

"The best thing I can recommend is to find healthy coping skills," Erica Zajac says. "If you're feeling pressure from others, it's OK to tell them to stop focusing on your relationship status and start focusing more on you as a person. If the pressure is internal, finding smalls ways to make you feel happy with yourself is key."

One dater told Bustle: "It can definitely be tempting to want to find someone reliable to spend some secluded indoor time with. In our culture, that often means falling into a comfortable relationship. However, just because you’re feeling lonely or wanting some extra TLC during the colder season, that doesn’t mean you necessarily want the emotional work and commitment of a relationship, or that you should start spending time with a partner who isn’t really right for you, just to fill a void. I find it best to fill my time with friends and hobbies I enjoy."

Another dater said: "I cope by hosting my own events and making sure to invite people of all kinds of relationship statuses. I'll also pick one thing I’ve always wanted to do, and do it alone. You’d be surprised by how many people try to adopt you when you're out by yourself. But I think the real key to this time of year is acknowledging, realizing, and appreciating that you are loved. Perhaps not romantically, but by family members, supportive friends, your food-dependent pet, and yourself."

Don't let the cuffing season pressure spoil your winter and holiday season. Spend some time doing activities you enjoy doing, whether it's trivia nights, language lessons, cooking lessons, yoga, or other classes. Grab some good friends and go to brunch or have a Thanksgiving feast together. 

Take time for your own self care and enjoy the autumn and winter season whether single or dating.

Source: Fellizar, Kristine. "8 Women Tell Us Why They Don't Feed Into The Pressure Of Cuffing Season."  Bustle Magazine, 28 Nov. 2019.

Read more from Date Night China:

Join the Date Night China WeChat group!

Add Rachel on WeChat to join (WeChat ID: rachelweiss22).

Date Night China is a digital media platform and events organization based in Beijing that aims to build a positive community and share stories about relationships and dating in China. Follow our Wechat Account for the latest articles, new podcast episodes, and upcoming events.