Awkward Moments When People Say "Wow, You Got Fat!" in China

One of the things that will probably shock you most in China is the array of awkward and seemingly inappropriate comments and questions you will get. The first time it happened to me was not even in China – it was back in Mexico at the Chinese school where I used to study. I had come back from my first trip to Beijing, and as soon as my former teacher saw me, she said, “Wow! You got fat!” I had absolutely no clue how to react, the comment had bewildered me.

After that, I felt bad for some days. I kept on asking myself if I was really that fat. With time I forgot about that super awkward moment, but once I was back in China, the same situation happened once again. Then, I realized that it is a really common thing here. Even though some still do not like these types of comments, it is not rare to hear people telling each other whether they look thinner or fatter, and what they should do with their body.

Shocking and disrespectful as this might sound to some of us, it is not something you should get offended by. People with different cultural backgrounds have different perceptions on what personal privacy is and what is polite to ask and what is not. It is only normal that as foreigners in China, at times our new Chinese friends will ask some  questions that people back in our countries would not dare to, but don’t be offended, don’t get angry, it is okay!

In the beginning it might be a little bit tough to get used to but coming here will make you understand things and see the world from a completely different perspective, which is what makes this “Chinese” experience so enriching. You will learn how people socialize here, how they perceive their world and how the relations between people work here.

Among other things you might hear people asking are money related matters, which are another topic that shocks many foreigners. If someone is interested in what you do, they will probably ask you in a very direct way how much you earn. You do not need to answer of course, you can just give a vague response and carry on with the conversation, but there’s no need to let such questions surprise you.

Another thing that people here like asking a lot is your age. You have to bear in mind that age difference is somewhat more important in some Asian countries than it is in the West. Now, asking each other’s age might be considered quite rude in some cultures but as such in China, many people will still ask your age. 

Though probably the most shocking part of this is that after telling your age, if they believe you look older, they will tell you so without restraint. I know it may seem annoying, but remember it is not meant as a personal attack! The last time it happened to me was just a couple of days ago when a Beijing taxi driver asked my age. When I told him I am 25, he said, “Wow! You look way older! I thought you were older than me!” But is it really because we look older than we are? Maybe sometimes it is, but a factor that affects a lot our perceptions on each other’s age is the physical differences that exist between us, so don’t feel bad if they think you’re older than you are. 

Before arriving in China, I would recommend you to:

■ Be ready to receive some questions that might strike you as rude back home.

■ Remember that those comments are everything but criticism, so don’t take it personal.

■ Remember that as weird as some comments might sound to us, some of our ways are weird to people from other countries as well. We are all different, and that’s what makes our world more interesting.

■ You still have to be careful about your comments and questions in China; you can’t make and ask such comments or questions in every situation or to everyone.

■ Embrace the Chinese way, and be open to making new friends; you will learn a lot from them!

Author:

Name: Antonio Adrián Mazín Rivera

Nationality: Mexican

University: Beijing Language and Culture University

Time Spent in China: 6 years

Places of Residence:Beijing

This article is selected from the book 101 tips for living in China

You can click "read more" below to buy this book.

Editor: Crystal H

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