在我18年人生中的后10年，我都在与恐惧进行一场动荡不安的恋爱。我是一名职业自由式滑雪运动员，双尖滑雪板、22英尺高的U型池和转体两周的动作，是我肾上腺素的主要来源，那是极限运动真正令人着迷的内核。
“恐惧”实际上概括了三种不同的感官体验：兴奋、不确定性和压力。
把自己置于危险境地从生理上说是违背天性的，虽然我们尽一切努力做好了身体状态上的准备，但再多的所谓安全训练，也不能与无情的雪坡相提并论，在一个剧烈颠簸将我们抛入空中之后，它就直奔我们而来。
随着肾上腺素而来的兴奋，就是我真正热爱和沉迷的东西。对安稳完成动作的自信，对即将到来的未知体验的兴奋，这两者之间那种摇摇欲坠的平衡让我欲罢不能。
我听说这种状态被称为“化境”(the zone)，去年秋天，当我成为历史上第一个完成前空翻两周加转体四周的女性滑雪运动员时，我的确进入了那样的状态。
因为全身心投入这样的动作可能会以灾难告终，每一位自由式滑雪运动员的终极目的，就是要认清兴奋和不确定性之间的细微差别，这样才能在拿出最佳表现的同时，最大限度地降低受伤风险。
最后，还有压力。亲朋好友的期望、竞争的冲动、甚至是赞助的机会，都可能制造出高压环境。对于能克服压力的斗士来说，压力可能是一种积极的力量，但压力也可能成为失利的决定性因素。
最重要的是信心。随着步入成年，我能够依靠提升自尊和减少对外界认可的需求来应对压力，对此我感到十分自豪。无论是一个人独处，还是面对全世界的观众，我都专注于感恩、观察、以及这项运动带给我的快乐。
《纽约时报》配发的谷爱凌训练和旁白视频
I Admit，I‘m In Love With FearFOR THE LAST 10 OF MY 18 YEARS, I’ve pursued a tumultuous love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline, the truly addictive core of extreme sports.Like all bewitching lovers (at least the ones in the novels I read, for lack of real-world experience), this significant other can be … mercurial. “Fear” is really an umbrella term for three distinct sensations: excitement, uncertainty, and pressure. I’ve learned that the nuanced indicators of each of these feelings can be instrumental to success when recognized and positively leveraged, and harbingers of injury when ignored.
Though it’s easy to label extreme sport athletes as fearless or capricious, the countless hours I’ve spent visualizing tricks and practicing them in foam pits (foam. particles. everywhere) and on airbags (think giant Slip ’N Slide) suggest otherwise. It’s biologically counterintuitive for us to place ourselves in positions of risk, and while we make every effort to physically prepare, no amount of metaphorically safety-netted practice can equate to the unforgiving snow slope that rushes up to meet us after a steep kicker launches us into the air. Now, in my mind, I’m airborne. I see the backside of the takeoff immediately, then my flip draws my vision to the cloudless sky above me. My ears register the wind as a kind of song, every 360-degree rotation providing the beat to the music of my motion. As my feet come under me halfway through, I spot the landing for the briefest of moments before I pull my body into the second flip. I imagine my legs swinging under me as I return to a forward-facing position and meet the ground with my weight in the front of my boots. 1440 degrees. I smile. Then I open my eyes.In the split second following my visualization, the knot in my chest flutters and spreads — those famous butterflies reaching their final stage of metamorphosis. Excitement, the child of adrenaline, my true love and addiction. That tantalizingly precarious balance between confidence in my ability to execute the trick safely and excitement for the unpredictable experience to come. I’ve heard this state called “the zone,” which is indeed where I was when I became the first female skier in history to land the double cork 1440 last fall.Finally, there’s pressure, an energy source that can be wielded in many ways. One’s experience of pressure — by far the most subjective facet of “fear” — is affected by personal experiences and perspectives. Expectations of family and friends, a competitive streak, or even sponsorship opportunities can provide the scaffolding for a high-pressure environment. Pressure can be a positive force for competitors who leverage it to rise to the occasion, but it can also single-handedly dictate competitive failure.
But whether athletes alleviate or compound their innate desire to “prove themselves” depends largely on confidence. As I enter my early adulthood, I’m proud of the work I’ve done to cope with pressure by bolstering my self-esteem and minimizing my need for external validation. I focus on gratitude, perspective, and on the joy this sport brings me, regardless of whether I’m alone or in front of a worldwide TV audience. Though my views of myself and the world are constantly evolving, one thing is for certain: no matter how much time passes, I’ll always be a hopeless romantic when it comes to fear.