2017年，一部讲述亲情、梦想与死亡的动画电影《寻梦环游记》成为无数人心目中的经典。
这部电影，以独特而深刻的视角重塑了人们对死亡的理解，即——
电影中对死亡的描绘是美好而充满象征性的。但在现实生活中，人们却往往只会庆祝生命的诞生，而忌讳谈论死亡。
近日，一则名为#95后女生做寿衣模特#的微博话题冲上热搜，再次引发人们对生命、对死亡，以及对人生意义的思考和探讨。Death is taboo in many cultures. It often appears in literature and mythology as sorrowful, macabre and even ghastly figures. Modern-day morticians are hence regarded by many as a plague to stay far away from.
2017年，来自河南的95后女生任赛男，在大学毕业后进入了一个大多数人通常都不会选择的行业——殡葬业：“入职的时候，说要让我们自己先熟悉一下产品，然后会给我们培训……我当时就特别不想看，一打开之后就觉得害怕。”
后来，在男友的鼓励下，任赛男抱着“试试看”的想法，成为了杭州一家殡葬品淘宝店的运营人员，并兼职做寿衣模特和主播。Ren Sainan chanced upon the funeral industry three years ago. With a degree in e-commerce, she joined an online retailer that deals in funeral supplies after several failures in attempting to get a "normal" job upon graduation. "My husband, who was back then my boyfriend, persuaded me to take a crack at this job. He said: 'Every trade has a master,'" Ren told CGTN.The 26-year-old from the central province of Henan can do it all – designing burial clothing, realizing those designs by working with tailors, attending to customers and, on top of those talents, being a model. Wearing new burial garments for livestreaming is part of her daily job, like many of her colleagues of similar age.刚开始试穿寿衣的时候，任赛男的内心充斥着不安。那段时间，她常常做噩梦，不敢一个人待在办公室。"I was resistant when I first put on a burial gown for a livestreaming session. I thought that it would be a bad omen to wear garments intended for the deceased." For a long time, she was haunted by nightmares about these gowns, cinerary caskets and all those decorations her company made for the deceased.不过，这样的状态只持续了四个月左右。在慢慢了解了这个行业之后，她觉得死亡似乎也没有那么可怕——“生老病死是每个人一生必经的过程……人在很多重要时刻都会穿上一件自己的礼服，在做寿衣的时候，我们就会把它做得像是礼服一样，人们穿上它，可以漂漂亮亮地和世界告别。”
It took her four months to fully accept this job as she gradually found courage from her customers. When she posted pictures of herself in burial clothes, they didn't attack her as she had once feared; instead, they showed appreciation and sometimes asked for the website where they can buy the attire for their loved ones or even themselves. "They encouraged me to keep going while leading me to reexamine the notion of death," she said.与此同时，她也开始尝试改变身边的人对殡葬业的态度。她相信绝大多数人对这个行业的忌讳，是由于不了解。而这一点，是可以改变的。比如，她常常给自己的闺蜜发一些漂亮的衣服图片，分享公司的新产品和案例。“刚开始给她发的时候她是比较忌讳的，然后后来有点搞笑”，任赛男笑着说，“她越忌讳，我越给她发。”三年下来，闺蜜已经完全接受了。不仅如此，任赛男的妈妈也在与女儿的交流中慢慢加深了对这个行业认识，态度也从最开始的反对变成如今的鼓励与支持——现在还常常在电话里为她提供工作上的建议和引导。In the beginning, Ren refrained from telling her mother about working as a model and designer for burial clothes because she believes death is more of a forbidden topic among the older generation."After I accepted myself in this job, I talked about it with my mother. Her first reaction was 'you should resign,'" Ren said. She made a trip home in Pingdingshan, a two-hour drive from Zhengzhou where she works, in hope to impress her mother with various products ranging from delicately embroidered gowns to exquisite cinerary caskets."She softened her tone as these designs upended her perception of saying goodbye to the world," she said. Since then, Ren's mother would call her every day, instead of once a week, asking whether she was afraid. She would also give her advice whenever she would encounter problems at work. "Once I received a call from a customer at night, saying she didn't know how to dress her deceased family member. After learning about it, my mother guided me on how to address her concern."在被问到行业的薪资待遇时，任赛男说，“大家会觉得人们都忌讳这个行业，做的人比较少，是不是收入很高。但其实并没有，就是能够保障正常的生活。”“也许这件事别人不愿意去提起或者不愿意去做，但总归是有人要去做的，我们就站出来做……生命的结束，我们并不认为是真正的结束，也许是另一次的华丽转身。”
从踏进这个行业至今，任赛男已经见证过许多次死亡，以及一次又一次亲人与逝者间的庄重告别。
无论是以一个行业从业者，还是以一个旁观者的角度来看，这些经历和见证对她的冲击都不言而喻。2018年，一对年约60岁的老夫妻，在几经辗转之后找到了任赛男就职的实体店铺，为癌症晚期的29岁女儿寻一件年轻款的寿衣——“（他们）先是在网上找到了我们家，问了还有点不放心，后来听说有实体店，老夫妻风尘仆仆赶来门店。进门的时候看到门口模特穿的那套，当时就看中了，然后就买走了。”
本以为事情就此告一段落。但几天后，任赛男收到老夫妻发来的一张照片。照片中，那个未曾谋面的年轻女孩面色憔悴，身穿美丽的汉服寿衣站在病房外的走廊上，脸上露出淡淡的微笑。老夫妻用照片定格了女儿的这一瞬间，向店铺致谢——“寿衣很漂亮，女儿很满意，感谢你们。”Working in the funeral industry can be challenging as well as meaningful. Ren vividly remembered back in 2018 when an elderly couple visited the store looking for an elegant burial gown for their 29-year-old daughter who was dying of cancer. "The doctor told them to prepare a burial suit for their daughter as there was not much time left for her. They'd searched almost every funeral supply shop but failed to find a desirable one," Ren recounted. "Upon stepping [into our shop], their eyes lit up upon seeing the gown on the mannequin at the door. They brought it back and sent me a photo of their daughter in it, smiling, in a hospital corridor. I felt like I did something for them."Apart from finding comfort in helping families who lost their loved ones, Ren has also found design inspiration from customers."One night during the Spring Festival, I received a call. A girl sobbed, asking whether we had a green burial suit, as she was preparing for the funeral of her father who used to be a soldier at Jiayu Pass, safeguarding China's northwestern frontier. He had nostalgia for the color green," Ren said.Rummaging through piles of clothes at the warehouse, she failed to find the color. Moved by the daughter and the father, she decided to make a green-colored suit along with a tailor at the company. “每一位逝者都有一个特别的故事。”这些故事，在渐渐成为任赛男工作的日常后，也让她对殡葬业、对死亡有了更深的认识。“能在寿衣上给他们一些安慰，这个事情就是值得的。”
她走访苏州、杭州、南京……去不同的城市汲取设计灵感。她会在挑选布料的那一刻驻足思考，想象着在自己生命结束的时候，会想要穿一件怎样的衣服离开——“当时就会想，我们出生的时候是什么样的，我们的一生又是什么样的……在我生命结束的时候，我也许会想要穿一件这样的礼服。”
在她的设计稿中，寿衣不再是外界印象中沉闷、阴森和古板的样子，呈现出来的是苏绣，是传统文化，更是生命之美。再后来，她尝试在每一次的设计中，都尽可能多地融入自己对生命这个议题不断加深的理解——“不单单是基于客户的需求去开发他们想要的，更多的是夹杂一些对生命的理解，把我们生命中所经历的一些东西都添加在衣服里……最后人们穿上这件礼服的时候，我们的一生都在这件衣服里面所诠释。”
An amateur admirer of ancient Chinese fashion herself, Ren designs for the deceased according to their occupation, hobby, and type of funeral.In addition to modern-style suits, Ren likes to design with inspiration from traditional Chinese styles such as Hanfu and cheongsam made from different fibers. "Those ceremonial attire possess the beauty of life. In a way it's also a kind of cultural inheritance," she said.
从业至今已有三年的任赛男，现在已经可以看着漂亮的寿衣开玩笑说——从对行业的畏惧、迷茫，到理解、接纳，再到最后全身心地投入、奉献，任赛男的心路历程，也是大多数人对生命和死亡的认识过程。Since she began this journey in 2017, Ren saw that committing herself to a profession that few people even knew about, let alone considered, is rewarding. Death was now no longer something to be feared or ignored, but could be normalized as long as she could help more people understand what it entails. For her, helping the family of a person who has entered their last stage also allows them to understand that death can be dignified.“寿衣模特”的话题引发社会关注后，任赛男在一段视频中说，自己只是从事这个行业的一个普通女孩——但这份“普通”却意义非凡，因为它让许多人开始公正地看待殡葬行业，打破对死亡的认知偏见——Through Ren's efforts, more people may come to understand how the end needs not be ghastly, and that professionals who deal with death need not be feared. "My mother-in-law said 'you earn a living with your own effort, not from stealing or robbing.' That plain comment gave me courage. It's worth it," she said.Aging, sickness, and death are common states of life. It might be, in a sense, lucky to have an opportunity to run the gamut of human emotions from joy to grief, from despair to hope.“寿衣模特”与互联网的联结，在某种程度上已成为这个时代的一种“死亡教育”。在这个世界上，还有千千万万像任赛男这样的殡葬行业工作者，以一颗尊重、敬畏生命之心，为每一个逝者得以体面地离开这个世界而努力着。他们通过日复一日的工作，引导人们更好地正视死亡、理解死亡，从而更加尊重生命、热爱生命。尽己所能，温暖别人。他们的工作，不仅不应被歧视，反而更应被敬重。既然死亡无法改变，那么不如坦然直面，来场漂亮体面的道别。