15 signs you're not gonna make it in Beijing

What do you mean you don't like craft beer?

As far as we're concerned, Beijing is one the greatest cities in the world, but we'll begrudgingly admit that it isn't everyone's cup of tea. Some aspects of life here can be difficult and while they should be embraced as part of the Beijing experience, some people just can't handle it. Here are the telltale signs that maybe you're not gonna make it here.

1. You're constantly complaining about the weather

'It's too hot, it's too polluted, why is it suddenly so cold?' Beijing's weather is far from ideal – if you're not soaked with sweat you're probably shivering into an air pollution mask. But that's Beijing for you.

2. You like personal space

If you get a bit stressed in a lift or during your morning commute on the metro, there's not much we can do for you. We highly recommend avoiding Fragrant Hills or the Summer Palace during the holidays.

3. You like driving everywhere

Yeah, that's not gonna happen here – unless you get a Chinese driving license, of course. But ya know, mafan. Beijing's also one of the most congested cities in the world, so unless you like sitting in traffic watching waimai delivery drivers whizz by on their scooters, there's not much point.

4. You hate cycling and cyclists

Pretty much everyone you know here is a cyclist because it's one of the easiest ways to get around. With Mobike and Ofo bikes dominating the streets, you don't even need to own your own bike to get from A to B.

5. You love using cash

Well, that's going to have to stop immediately. You'd better set up your WeChat Wallet pronto.

6. You like cooking

It just doesn't make sense slaving away in the kitchen when you can get almost any meal delivered straight to your door.

7. You don't like having roommates

Tough. Beijing's got the most expensive property market in China with an average home price of 5,820 USD per square metre. Get used to people drinking your milk and leaving hair in the sink.

8. Brunch isn't for you

Yeah, you're basically on your own here – brunch is a social institution no matter where you hail from. And what's there not to like? It's not quite breakfast and it's not quite lunch and there's free-flow booze!

9. You hate using a mobile phone and prefer communicating with people in person

Sorry, but WeChat rules here. Living without it just doesn't work.

10. You're not a fan of craft beer

We love a good craft beer – whether it's in the form of an IPA, golden ale or treacly stout – and we've got microbreweries in abundance.

11. You don't understand the concept of soft restaurant openings

To be fair, neither do we.

12. Belting out tunes at a KTV isn't your idea of a good time

Whether you're a good singer or not, nights out in Beijing often devolve into impromptu karaoke sessions. And you can find KTVs practically anywhere here, from single-person booths in pharmacies (for all those times you've gotten the sudden urge while shopping), to the labyrinthine, towering maze which is Tango KTV.

13. You still can't handle a jianbing without getting first degree burns

Suck it up, buttercup. If you can't handle jianbings at their worst, then you don't deserve them at their best. Grasp hold of that molten hot pocket of deliciousness and scoff it down right there in the middle of the street.

14. You hate to haggle

A trip to literally any market here should sort that out.

15. WeChat stickers don't appeal to you

You're a monster.

To read about whether you're better suited to Beijing or Shanghai, hit '阅读原文'.

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