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这个感恩节,感谢那些勇敢的女性 | 观点

2017-11-23 纽约时报中文网 NYT教育频道 NYT教育频道

Laura Lannes

(本文发表于时报观点与评论版面,作者是Jennifer Weiner。)

As a way of avoiding the news, I have been spending the past few weeks cleaning out my basement. It’s my least favorite room of the house, repository of everything that’s broken or unnecessary or depressing. Because my mother downsized and my father died, not only is the basement full of my stuff, there’s two generations’ worth of detritus down there, lurking.

过去几周里,我一直在清理自己的地下室,这是我躲避新闻的一种方式。地下室是房子里我最不喜欢的地方,里面堆放的都是破碎的、不必要的、或令人抑郁的东西。因为母亲精简了身边的东西,父亲已经去世,地下室里不仅装满了我自己的杂物,而且有两代人弃留在那里的东西。

The treadmill and the free weights live in the basement. The boxes of photos and receipts that filled my father’s storage unit are all there. Here’s a pair of cross-country skis, there’s a contract to option a book that never got adapted. Here’s something that looks important and electrical. What’s it for? No idea. There’s my divorce decree and a DVD player and the disassembled crib that I thought, for a few happy weeks a few years ago, that I might get to use again.

地下室里有跑步机和自由杠铃片;有父亲的储物柜,里面堆放着装满照片和收据的盒子;有一双越野滑雪板,还有一份出售改编权的合同,但书从未被改编;还有一个看上去很重要的电器,它是干什么用的?不知道;有我的离婚判决书、DVD播放器,以及一个拆开的婴儿床,在几年前的几周快乐时光里,我曾有过可能会再次用上这个床的念头。

Basements are where we put the things we no longer want to look at but can’t let go of; the things we don’t need but can’t toss. I’ve been thinking about basements, real and metaphorical, as the past few weeks have unfolded in a cascade of revelations that began with Harvey Weinstein and shows no signs of stopping.

地下室里放的是那些我们不想再看到却不能抛弃的东西、那些我们不需要却不舍得仍掉的东西。在过去的几周里,随着始于哈维·韦恩斯坦(Harvey Weinstein)的丑闻接二连三地爆出,而且至今没有停止的迹象,我一直在思考着真实的和比喻性的地下室。

The #MeToo movement has sent pretty much every woman I know down the dusty stairs of her own interior basement to reckon with her own history. All of us have stories. Mine are pretty typical and, in the grand scheme of things, not that bad. There was that one high school teacher who kissed me and told me he loved me. Weird. The waiter at my first restaurant job, who’d back me into corners and grind against me. Also not great.

社交媒体上的“我也是”(#MeToo)运动,让我认识的几乎所有女性都走下她内心中尘土飞扬的楼梯,来到地下室,回想自己的历史。我们每个人都有故事。我本人的故事很典型,从社会大视角来看,也并不那么糟。有一位高中老师吻过我,并对我说,他爱我。有点离奇。我第一次在餐馆工作时,有个服务员把我逼到一个角落里,他的私处在我身上蹭来蹭去。这很不怎么地。

There were all of the guys, over all the years, who’ve said or yelled or whispered stuff while I was out in the world, buying groceries or waiting for a bus, but that’s just the background noise to every woman’s life, the price of being in a female body. Oh, and the writer at the weekly newspaper where I was an intern who would join me in the storage room when my hands were full of heavy bound back issues, swiping at my breasts as he reached across me. The worst part wasn’t the touching but the way he’d leer at me afterward. Now we have a secret, his look seemed to say. Now we have a pact. I’m going to keep doing this, and you’re going to keep not saying anything, because I am powerful and you are replaceable. 

多少年来,在我置身于外部世界,或在超市买东西、或在等公交车时,有多少男子说过、喊过、或私语过我不愿意听的东西,不过,那只是每个女性的生活背景噪音,是身为女性的代价。哦,还有那个在我当过实习生的周报工作的作者。每当我进入储藏室、双手被沉甸甸的装帧成册的过刊占据时,他都会跟在我身后进来,把手伸过我的身子取点什么,顺便从我的乳房上蹭过。最糟糕的不是这种触摸,而是他对我奸笑的样子。他的表情似乎在说,现在我们之间有了一个秘密。现在我们有了一个协议。我将继续这样做下去,你也将会对此继续保持沉默,因为我有权,而你可以随时被替换。

Those things happened. On the continuum of awful, they weren’t so bad. I haven’t spent every day of my life tormented by the memories. In fact, I’ve gone months, even years, without thinking about how that teacher’s beard felt against my face or the smell of that waiter’s breath as he panted in my ear. But those experiences, individually and collectively, sent a message. About my worth. About a woman’s place. It’s all been in the basement, there but not there. Nothing I want to look at, but like the 10-year-old tax returns and my ancient Macintosh Classic, nothing I can set out with the trash.

这些事情都发生过。在骇人听闻的尺度上,它们并没有那么糟糕。我也没有在生命的每一天都受到这些记忆的折磨。实际上,我经常好几个月、甚至好几年都不去想那个老师的胡子在我脸上的感觉,或那个服务员在我耳边气喘吁吁时散发的气味。但无论是个体的、还是集体的,这些经历都传递了一个信息。关于我自身价值的信息。关于女性社会地位的信息。这些东西都一直呆在地下室里,时而看得见、时而看不见。那里没有我想看到的东西,但它们和我10年前的纳税申报单和最古老的苹果电脑(Macintosh Classic)一样,没有一个是我可以随垃圾扔掉的东西。

I’ve also known a lot of good men. In my 10 years working as a reporter and during the occasional stints in Hollywood, there have been men who hired me, supervised me and worked with me who were nothing but appropriate, kind and encouraging. So, with Thanksgiving upon us, when I started to think about that moment where we’d all sit around the table, giving thanks, and I began to wonder what I could sincerely be grateful for after this terrible, horrible, no good very bad year, my mind went to those guys. The coaches who didn’t grab or grope. The teachers who taught girls and didn’t target them. There are lots of good men, and I’m grateful.

我也认识过不少好男人。在我做记者的10年里,以及偶尔在好莱坞工作期间,不少雇过我、当过我老板,以及与我一起工作的男性,对我未曾表现过除了恰如其分、善良和鼓励以外的东西。所以,在感恩节即将到来之际,在我开始思考那个我们都将围坐在桌子旁表达感激之情时刻的时候,在我想知道,经过了这个令人不快的、可恶的、没有好结果的糟糕一年之后,我能真诚地感谢哪些人时,我的思路转向了那些男性。那些不抓或摸人家私处的教练。那些给女生上课但没有追她们的老师。有很多很好的男人,我感激他们。

Except now I have daughters. The older of the two is 14. That’s how old Diana Nyad, the champion swimmer, was when her coach began abusing her. Leigh Corfman was 14 when a district attorney named Roy Moore started chatting her up. I look at my daughters, my confident, cranky, infuriating, hilarious girls, and all I can think is, Has anyone tried anything? And if somebody has, has the world changed enough that they know, with absolute certainty, that they could tell me, positive that they’d be believed?

只是现在我还有两个女儿,大女儿今年14岁。游泳冠军戴安娜·尼亚德(Diana Nyad)的教练开始对她进行性骚扰时,她就是这个年龄;一位名叫罗伊·摩尔(Roy Moore)的地区法院检察官用甜言蜜语勾引丽·栝夫曼(Leigh Corfman)时,她也只有14岁。我看着我的女儿们,看着我的充满自信、脾气暴躁、有时气人、有时滑稽的女孩子时,我满脑子里想的只有一件事:有人试图对她们做过什么吗?如果有人那样做过,这个世界是否已经发生了足够大的变化,以至于她们毫无疑问地知道,她们能把事情告诉我,并确信人们会相信她们吗?

It’s infuriating. It’s absurd to feel grateful to men just for exercising basic decency. No woman, whether she’s a chief executive or cleaning hotel rooms, should have to feel thankful to the guys who didn’t grope or grab or leer. There shouldn’t be cookies and back pats for men who did not confuse inebriation with consent or assume that their personal assistants’ most cherished dream was to see them emerge, naked, from the shower. Women shouldn’t have to be grateful for any of this. We should take it for granted.

我怒不可遏。对男性表示感激仅仅因为他们行使了基本的礼貌,这很荒谬。不管她是首席执行官,还是在酒店打扫客房的清洁工,没有一位女性应该对那些不摸不抓他人私处、不淫笑的男人心存感激之情;也不应该用饼干奖励、或表扬那些不把喝醉酒与准许混为一谈的男人,那些不假设自己的私人助理最梦寐以求的就是看到他们赤身裸体地从淋浴中走出来的男人。女性不该对任何这些做法心存感激之情;我们应该认为那是理所当然的。

And so, this Thanksgiving, my girls and I will gather cranberries from the bog and tow my mom out when she gets stuck. I will attempt a tablescape, which my kids will mock. We’ll roast a turkey and mash sweet potatoes. And then, instead of thanking men who bravely and nobly managed to keep their hands to themselves, we will thank the women.

所以,这个感恩节,我和女儿们会去沼泽地采摘小红莓,如果我妈的车抛了锚,我们会帮她把车拖走。我会试着装点餐桌,我的孩子们会嘲笑我的做法。我们会烤一只火鸡,做红薯泥。然后,与其说感谢那些勇敢地、高贵地控制住了自己手的男人,我们要感谢那些女性。

Aly Raisman and McKayla Maroney. Leigh Corfman and Beverly Young Nelson. Diana Nyad. Rose McGowan and Ashley Judd. Lupita Nyong’o and Annabella Sciorra. Kitti Jones, the latest to make allegations against R. Kelly. And, of course, Anita Hill, who endured such scorn and shame, who cracked open the basement door and let the first beams of light shine through.

她们是:阿莱·莱丝曼(Aly Raisman)和麦凯拉·马罗尼(McKayla Maroney);丽·栝夫曼和贝弗利·扬·纳尔逊(Beverly Young Nelson);戴安娜·尼亚德;罗斯·麦高恩(Rose McGowan)和阿什莉·贾德(Ashley Judd);露芘塔·尼永奥(Lupita Nyong’o)和安娜贝拉·莎拉(Annabella Sciorra);以及新近站出来指控R·凯利(R. Kelly)的基蒂·琼斯(Kitti Jones)。当然,还有忍受了众多嘲笑和羞辱的安妮塔·希尔(Anita Hill),她撬开了地下室的大门,让光线首次照到了那里。

Behaving yourself in the workplace shouldn’t be difficult. Speaking truth to power? That remains hard. Instead of being grateful to the men who did the minimum, we’ll give thanks to the women who did something extraordinary: told their stories, in spite of the consequences, in spite of the cost.

在工作场所约束自己不该困难;对权力说真话?依然困难。与其说感谢那些只保住底线的男性,我们要感激那些做出非凡之举的女性:尽管会有后果,尽管会付出代价,但她们仍把自己的故事公诸于世。

本文作者JENNIFER WEINER是纽约时报观点文章作者,最近出版回忆录《饥饿的心》(Hungry Heart)。

翻译:Cindy Hao


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