30岁前，读一读《相约星期二》

"I decided I'm going to live—or at least try to live—the way I want, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure."

前两天和一位美国大叔录音频，他瞥见我书架上有本 The Five People You Meet in Heaven：

他说你读过这个作者的 Tuesdays with Morrie 吗？我说读过、写过、多次推荐过。他说 Morrie，是我的大学老师。

WOW！

他说 Tuesdays with Morrie 里的 Morrie 就是生活中的样子，就是那样一个让你能够敞开心怀不怕尴尬的人，学生有问题都愿意去和他聊。他说当年老爷子生病住院，他和几位同学去看望，Morrie 虽然病得厉害但依然乐观幽默，还边开玩笑边请学生帮忙帮他小便。他说 Morrie 如同上帝一样平和温暖，是那种不在你身边你也能感觉到的人。

他讲得动情，我听得眼角湿润。既然这么有缘，那就再安利一次 Tuesdays with Morrie。

Morrie Schwartz 是美国布兰戴斯大学（Brandeis University）的社会学教授。幽默风趣爱跳舞，家庭幸福事业美满，人生赢家不过如此。

不幸的是，1994 年，77 岁的 Morrie 患上了和霍金一样的病。ASL，Lou Gehrig's disease，俗成「渐冻人症」。

这个不治之症并没有击垮他。

他坚持上完这个学期的课，他开始琢磨死亡是怎么一回事，并且把自己的想法写下来分享给朋友们。如果 Morrie 也用微信的话，我想他会时不时发「活在当下」「向死而生」这样的「正能量」。

有位同事把这些想法发给了一位记者，记者写了篇长文报道了 Morrie 的故事。这篇文章在当时是篇 10w+。引起了美国广播公司 Nightline 节目的注意。于是 Morrie 上了电视，和约 900 万观众分享了他的故事和人生哲学。

这个节目被 Morrie 教过的一位学生看到，也就是这本书的作者 Mitch Albom。

Mitch Albom 每星期二飞 700 英里到老人家里陪着他，跟他「上课」：The class met on Tuesdays. It began after breakfast. The subject was The Meaning of Life. It was taught from experience.

这堂课持续了 15 周，直到 1995 年 11 月 Morrie 去世。Mitch 把 15 周的谈话写成了这本: Tuesdays with Morries，希望把老人的思考分享给更多的人。

我手里这版纸质版 Tuesdays with Morries 共 192 页，语言简单直白，常用短句和重复，多以对话的方式记录恩师的教诲。我把我认为重点的内容整理在下面，建议边看边出声读一读。

World: The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Love is the only rational act.

Feeling Sorry for Yourself: I give myself a good cry if I need it. But then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life.

Regrets: What if today were my last day on earth?

Death: Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

Everyone knows they're going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently. Most of us all walk around as if we're sleepwalking. We really don't experience the world fully, because we're half-sleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.

Family: There is no experience like having children.

Emotions: Learn to detach. Don't cling to things, because everything is impermanent.

 Fear of Aging: It is impossible for the old not to envy the young. But the issue is to accept who you are and revel in that.

Forget what the culture says. Morrie 并没有因为自己生活无法自理，连屁股都得别人替他擦而觉得丢人，他觉得自己像是又成了婴儿，享受这份呵护。

Morrie 也不觉得年轻就一定好。每个年纪都有不同的美，变老不只是身体衰老，它还意味着成长，我们的生活变得更有质量，思想更成熟，精神世界更加丰富。他认为那些说希望自己重返青春的人，多是因为还没有找到人生的意义：

If you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more. You can't wait until sixty-five.

Money: You know what really gives you satisfaction? Offering others what you have to give.

How Love Goes On: Invest in people.

Marriage: You get tested. You find out who you are, who the other person is, and how you accommodate or don't.

Morrie 说现在许多人的问题是不懂得如何经营婚姻，爱得快散的也快。他认为这是因为：They don't know what they want in a partner. They don't know who they are themselves--so how can they know who they're marrying?

 Culture: Build your own little subculture.

I don't mean you disregard every rule of your community. I don't go around naked, for example. I don't run through red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things--how we think what we value--those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you.

Forgiveness: Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others.

如果你对以上内容感兴趣，建议你用一下午读一读。另外可以看看当年 Nightline 采访 Morrie 的视频：

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?width=500&height=375&auto=0&vid=w0565otm1hg

读书，顺便学点儿英文。最后从书中学 5 个实用表达，别嫌少，少食多餐更健康。

1. His voice was strong and inviting, and his mind was vibrating with a million thoughts. 

invite 是「邀请」，不过 inviting 表示“吸引人的”。因此「迷人的微笑」可以说an inviting smile，「空气怡人」可以说 The air is inviting。

2. He refused to be depressed. Instead, Morrie had become a lightning rod of ideas.

lightning rod 本义是「避雷针」，我们可以用 someone is a lightning rod of something 表示「招引...的人」「活靶子」。英文解释是：one that is a frequent target of criticism or focus of controversy，是不是一下子能想到活该招骂的某些慈善机构？

3. The dream soured.

sour 本义是「酸」，动词表示「变馊」，除了形容食物外还常用来形容状况、关系变得糟糕，和中文的「变味了」差不多。

这里的 the dream soured 可以理解为「梦想破灭了」，咱们还可以说 Everything turns sour. 表示「一切都变得很不顺利」，Our relationship goes sour. 表示「我们的关系变得大不如从前」（可能是友谊的小船翻了，要分手了之类）。

4. A colleague read a note from a woman named Nancy, who had lost her mother to ALS.（学个句型：lose someone to 某种疾病，注意介词用 to）

5. One friend was so taken with the words that he sent them to a Boston Globe reporter.

文中还出现了：

Koppel seemed extremely taken with Morrie.

一想到「有兴趣」我们可能会说 be interested/attracted in，be into，还可以怎么说呢？下一次试试这个 be taken with 吧。

30 岁前，听听 Morrie 的话，做个提醒；30 岁后，可能才是真的听懂了，重在践行然后 Pay it forward。

Live, with dignity, with courage, with humor, with composure.

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