My Friend Doesn't Walk Anymore Because Of Me
Hello, everyone! My name is Jared and I am fifteen years old. Do you know what it feels like when you look into the mirror and you don't see the person you want to see? Have you ever rejected yourself so much that you wanted to forget who you are and to pretend you were someone else?
No, I never suffered from any bullying at school or any other kind of abuse.The point is that I'm nothing, there is absolutely nothing special about me. At school I was everybody's shadow friend, easily forgotten when not needed. I was one of five kids in my family, so I didn't feel remarkably special there either.
The only person in my life who ever cared about me was Frank. He's been my friend since early childhood. He was hardly lacking in charisma and has always been the life of the party. I admired him and worshiped him and never understood why this kind of person could even be interested in having such a boring and basic friend like me. We studied at different schools, but we hung out a lot after our classes. He told me about his own music band and numerous girlfriends and parties. And I would always listen to him with my mouth wide open and try to hide the pain of not being able to have a tiny bit of what he had. I don't remember exactly when I realized this, but I started to hate him. But of course I didn't have enough courage to admit that he was not the one to blame. It was me. So, I tried to do my best to get rid of these nasty feelings and to maintain my friendship with Frank.
One day, Frank came to my place on the weekend. He was all smiles! He told me he had absolutely great news for me. It turned out that Frank was going to go to my school now. And his parents even asked the principal to transfer him to my class. My mother was so happy to hear that! She loved Frank, like everyone else did. Every time he came around, she would have long chats with him. Sometimes I even thought that she would be much happier if Frank was her son.
You might've already guessed, but I did not find this news exciting at all. Now I had to watch his superman achievements every day. And besides, I didn't want Frank to become aware of my social status at school. Of course, he immediately became the top of the class. But then it went from bad to worse. He got Violet's attention. Violet was the girl of my dreams. I've had a serious crush on her for two years, but of course I had no chance there. I didn't have the sense to even think about it. I can't say the same about Frank. He was a heartbreaker! And soon my greatest fears were actually realized. Once, he asked me to tell him everything I knew about Violet, because he wanted to ask her out. For me, this was a punch in the gut. I was full of hatred and rage. But I kept pretending that I was a reliable friend, even though it was getting more and more unbearable.
Because I had been in love with Violet for quite a long time, I knew more about her than he could ever imagine. I knew her favorite movies and music bands, the perfume that she liked... everything, down to the littlest detail. I felt like I was digging my own grave! But I told him everything I knew. Frank was a little bit surprised that I was so aware of her life and wondered if Violet and I were friends or maybe something else. I just froze for a second, but then made myself say that he definitely had nothing to worry about. I only wish I knew where this would eventually lead us.
One day after school, Frank suddenly suggested going for a walk to the forest we used to play in when we were kids. I think that I have probably never seen my friend so happy! We went to our favorite place on the cliff near the waterfalls and sat down to watch the sunset. And then Frank said: "I think I'm in love with her. And I'm sure she is in love with me. Thanks for your help, Jared." My heart sank. How could it happen so fast? I'd been trying to get that girl's attention for years and in a blink of an eye she had fallen in love with Frank as soon as he had showed up. Moreover, not without my help.This was too much for me.
I sprang to my feet and ran. I was overwhelmed with rage. Frank now owned everything that was dear to me in this world. I had nothing to even dream about anymore! I wished he would just disappear forever! I was jumping from one rock to another and didn't notice I had come too close to the waterfall. One false move and I would fall down. I looked backed and saw Frank's scared face. He was running after me and calling my name. I heard him screaming: "Don't move. I will help you!" Suddenly, Frank slipped on the rock face and fell over the cliff.文本并非一一对应，且不完整，仅供参考阅读
LearnAndRecord
2015年2月8日
2019年10月15日
第1711天
每天持续行动学外语