I Had 1 Year To Live And Did Lots Of Bad Stuff
Hey, everyone! My name is Gianna. And I think that all people want to know their future sometimes – what they are going to become, how much money they are going to earn, when they are going to pass away. Sounds impossible, but really cool, right? Well, as my experience has shown – it's not cool at all.
I was just a fifteen year-old girl full of ambition, plans, and great expectations. I had a loving family, friends, and a boyfriend. What more could anyone ask for? But for some reason, it all had to be destroyed. It started with a few simple headaches, but I didn't pay any attention to them. Then, I was surprised to notice I was always exhausted when I woke up in the mornings. But again, my best guess was that I just had a really busy schedule.
Once when I was hanging out with my friends, I suddenly went blank and... woke up on a stretcher. Everything was kind of a blur. I saw my friends' terrified faces around me and the doctors' voices calling my name. I finally came back to my senses at the hospital. I had the most horrible headache ever. My mother, father, and my older brother were there. I asked them what had happened and my mom said there was an accident. I had fainted. I fell right on the pavement and injured my head pretty badly. My friends had to call an ambulance, but there was nothing to worry about. Doctors promised I would go home as soon as they got the head CT results. So, I kind of calmed down a little bit. But I wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible because all of those doctors, and hospitals in general, just freak me out!
The next morning I thought I was feeling much better. I was packing up when suddenly the doctor and my parents entered the room. My mom was pale and my dad was looking down. The doctor was very smiley and nice to me. He made jokes, but looked as if he was going to tell me something serious. I felt like all of his antics meant he was up to no good. And then he said those words that kept running through my head, over and over – inoperable brain tumor, stage four. And nobody could say how long I had left – A week? A month? The doctor said I could try chemotherapy, but it would not buy me much time anyway. The only thing they could do for me was to prescribe me tons of painkillers to help me bare the horrible headaches and pain that were about to strike me.
Well, you can't imagine what I was feeling. Why did this have to happen? Why me? I was so devastated and stunned I couldn't even cry it all out! After hours of thinking about it in my bed, I came to an agreement with myself. I was going to die and I had little time left. But the last thing I wanted was to spend this precious time in a hospital with an IV, losing my hair, and not being able to move. I was not going to undergo chemotherapy. It was hard to think about talking to my parents about this. It was no less painful for them to accept it all either. But to my surprise, they fully supported me. My primary physician didn't not approve of my decision at all. He told me I had to stay in the hospital under medical supervision, but I continued to stand my ground.
Two days later I was at home having breakfast with my family as if nothing ever happened. Suddenly my dad said: 'Nothing will prevent you from living the rest of your life to the fullest, my brave girl!' My parents wanted me to make a list of things I wanted to do, try, or buy, to choose countries I wanted to visit, and they would try to do that for me. I knew we were not a rich family, but my parents had saved some money for my education, which happened to be unnecessary now. My older brother even wanted to use some of his own earnings. I was almost moved to tears by their generosity, and it didn't take me long to sit down and narrow down my 'bucket list'.
I had the most unbelievable and exciting time in my life. We went to Disney World, to Paris, and Spain. We stayed at Five Star hotels, where I tried all ice cream flavors and cakes and chocolates every day. I dyed my hair red, blue, green, which I had never done before. My mom always used to say I would damage my hair. But I didn't have to worry about that anymore. I bought new clothes and ordered stuff online... I'm literally not sure any princess ever had such a bed of roses before in her life, and besides I still had not had that bad pain my doctor had predicted I would have, but...
The more entertainment and amusement I had, the more empty and apathetic I felt. My friends would come for a visit every day and give me some inspiring speech. My boyfriend, Walt, brought me presents and pledged his endless love to me...
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LearnAndRecord
2015年2月8日
2019年10月20日
第1716天
每天持续行动学外语