“爱”是什么?
520，爱自己才能更爱地爱他人。
无注释原文：
We Are Defining Love the Wrong Way
TIME
It is time to change the meaning of the word “love.”
The word is mostly used according to the first definition given in the dictionary: “an intense feeling of deep affection.” In other words, love is what one feels.
After years spent speaking with couples before, during and after marriage; and of talking to parents and children struggling with their relationships, I am convinced of the partiality of the definition. Love should be seen not as a feeling but as an enacted emotion. To love is to feel and act lovingly.
Too many women have told me, bruises visible on their faces, that the husbands who struck them love them. Since they see love as a feeling, the word hides the truth, which is that you do not love someone whom you repeatedly beat and abuse. You may have very strong feelings about them, you may even believe you cannot live without them, but you do not love them.
The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22). When a child is born, the parent’s reaction to this person, who so recently did not exist, is to feel that “I would do anything for her.” In the doing is the love—the feeling is enacted. That is why we often hear the phrase “you don’t act like you love me.” We know in our bones that love is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world in action.
Between human beings, love is a relational word. Yes, you can love things that do not love you back—the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. There is a lover and a beloved—you don’t just love, but you love at someone. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.
In Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde whether she loves him after a quarter century of marriage, her wry answer is exactly on point:
For twenty-five years I’ve washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned the house
Given you children, milked your cow
She asks then, “If that’s not love, what is?”
Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all. The feeling must be wedded to the deed.
We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet’s song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.
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含注释全文：
We Are Defining Love the Wrong Way
TIME
It is time to change the meaning of the word “love.”
The word is mostly used according to the first definition given in the dictionary: “an intense feeling of deep affection.” In other words, love is what one feels.
After years spent speaking with couples before, during and after marriage; and of talking to parents and children struggling with their relationships, I am convinced of the partiality of the definition. Love should be seen not as a feeling but as an enacted emotion. To love is to feel and act lovingly.
partiality /ˌpɑːʃɪˈælɪtɪ/
1）不可数名词，表示“偏袒，偏见，不公”，英文解释为“the fact of unfairly preferring or approving of something”举个🌰：
The judges have been heavily criticized for their partiality in the whole affair.
法官们因在整个事件中的执法不公而遭到了严厉批评。
2）可数名词，表示“特别喜爱；酷爱”，英文解释为“a feeling of liking sth/sb very much”举个🌰：
She has a partiality for exotic flowers.
她特别喜爱异国花卉。
enact
1）表示“通过，实施，制定（法律）”，英文解释为“When a government or authority enacts a proposal, they make it into a law.”举个🌰：
The authorities have failed so far to enact a law allowing unrestricted emigration.
当局到目前为止还未能通过一项允许自由移民出境的法律。
2）表示“表演”，英文解释为“If people enact a story or play, they perform it by acting.”举个🌰：
She often enacted the stories told to her by her father.
她经常把父亲讲给她的故事表演出来。
3）表示“发生（尤指过去已发生的事件或情况）”，英文解释为“If a particular event or situation is enacted, it happens; used especially to talk about something that has happened before.”举个🌰：
It was a scene enacted month after month for eight years.
这是8年来月复一月出现的场景。
Too many women have told me, bruises visible on their faces, that the husbands who struck them love them. Since they see love as a feeling, the word hides the truth, which is that you do not love someone whom you repeatedly beat and abuse. You may have very strong feelings about them, you may even believe you cannot live without them, but you do not love them.
bruise
1）作名词，表示“瘀伤”，英文解释为“A bruise is an injury that appears as a purple mark on your body, although the skin is not broken.”举个🌰：
How did you get that bruise on your cheek?
你脸颊上怎么有一块瘀伤？
2）作动词，表示“使受瘀伤；受瘀伤”，英文解释为“If you bruise a part of your body, a bruise appears on it, for example, because something hits you. If you bruise easily, bruises appear when something hits you only slightly.”举个🌰：
I had only bruised my knee.
我只是膝盖受了瘀伤。
strike
表示“打；击”，英文解释为“to hit sb/sth with your hand or a weapon”举个🌰：
He struck the table with his fist.
他用拳头打桌子。
The first love mentioned in the Bible is not romantic love, but parental love (Genesis 22). When a child is born, the parent’s reaction to this person, who so recently did not exist, is to feel that “I would do anything for her.” In the doing is the love—the feeling is enacted. That is why we often hear the phrase “you don’t act like you love me.” We know in our bones that love is not a feeling alone, but a feeling that flows into the world in action.
in one's bones
in one's bones 可以理解为我们说的骨子里怎样怎样，...（felt, understood, or believed very deeply or instinctively）
比如feel it in your bones，表示“直觉确信，本能感到”，英文解释为“to believe something strongly although you cannot explain why”举个🌰：
It's going to be a good summer - I can feel it in my bones.
今年夏天将会特别舒适——直觉告诉我的。
Between human beings, love is a relational word. Yes, you can love things that do not love you back—the sky or a mountain or a painting or the game of chess. But the love of other people is directional. There is a lover and a beloved—you don’t just love, but you love at someone. And real love is not only about the feelings of the lover; it is not egotism. It is when one person believes in another person and shows it.
directional
1）表示“（广播天线、麦克风或扬声器）定向型的”，英文解释为“If something such as a radio antenna, microphone, or loudspeaker is directional, it works most effectively in one direction, rather than equally in all directions at once.”举个🌰：
Unless he was equipped with a directional microphone, he was out of earshot.
除非给他配备一个定向扬声器，否则谁也听不见他。
2）表示“方向的”，英文解释为“Directional means relating to the direction in which something is pointing or going.”举个🌰：
Jets of compressed air gave the aircraft lateral and directional stability.
压缩气体喷流从侧面和正面稳定了机身。
egotism
egotism /ˈiːɡəˌtɪzəm, ˈɛg-/ 表示“自我主义；自大；自负”，英文解释为“thinking only about yourself and considering yourself better and more important than other people”举个🌰：
Finding herself world-famous by the time she was 18 only encouraged the actress's egotism.
年仅18岁就闻名世界只是让这位女演员变得更加自负了。
In Fiddler on the Roof, when Tevye asks Golde whether she loves him after a quarter century of marriage, her wry answer is exactly on point:
For twenty-five years I’ve washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned the house
Given you children, milked your cow
She asks then, “If that’s not love, what is?”
wry /raɪ/
1）表示“啼笑皆非的”，英文解释为“If someone has a wry expression, it shows that they find a bad situation or a change in a situation slightly amusing.”举个🌰：
He allowed himself a wry smile.
他露出了一丝苦笑。
2）表示“（话语或文章）讽刺的”，英文解释为“A wry remark or piece of writing refers to a bad situation or a change in a situation in an amusing way.”举个🌰：
There is a wry sense of humour in his work.
他的作品里有一种讽刺的幽默。
Of course it is possible to perform all sorts of duties for someone and feel little or nothing for them. Love is not about being hired help. Love is not an obligation done with a cold soul. But neither is it a passion that expresses itself in cruelty, or one that does not express itself at all. The feeling must be wedded to the deed.
be wedded to
表示“致力于…的”，英文解释为“If you are wedded to something such as an idea, you support it so strongly or like it so much that you are unable to give it up.”举个🌰：
Conservationists are mostly wedded to preserving diversity in nature.
自然环境保护主义者大多致力于保持物种的多样性。
We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet’s song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.
dazzling
1）表示“令人印象深刻的；惊人的”，英文解释为“Something that is dazzling is very impressive or beautiful.”举个🌰：
He gave Alberg a dazzling smile.
他向艾尔伯格粲然一笑。
2）表示“刺眼的”，英文解释为“A dazzling light is very bright and makes you unable to see properly for a short time.”举个🌰：
He shielded his eyes against the dazzling declining sun.
他遮着眼睛以挡住刺眼的夕阳。
关于「爱」
🎬美剧《实习医生格蕾》（Grey's Anatomy）中提到：You know that love doesn't conquer all. It conquers some stuff. The other stuff kicks the living crap out of love. 你知道爱情不能战胜一切，它能战胜某些事情，其他的事情则把爱情里的人给分开了。
🎬 电影《乌云背后的幸福线》（Silver Linings Playbook）中提到：True love is about letting her go and seeing if she returns. 真正的爱情是让她走开,并看看她是否归来。
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