为孩子不离婚孩子真能快乐吗
今天，社交媒体上#为孩子不离婚孩子真能快乐吗#的话题引发热议。
🤔️小作业：
1. Based on the article, which of the following best describes the author's view on the relationship between marriage and child well-being?
A) Marriage is essential for the well-being of children.
B) Staying in a bad marriage is preferable to divorce for the sake of children.
C) The quality of the parental relationship, not the marriage status, is crucial.
D) Divorce is always more harmful to children than staying in a troubled marriage.
A) Personal anecdotes and observations.
B) Statistical data and research studies.
C) Expert opinions and psychological theories.
D) Socioeconomic factors and broader societal trends.
无注释原文：
Yes, divorce is bad for children, but let's not fetishise marriage at all costs
From: The Guardian
24 Nov 2014
We are all terribly concerned about the adverse affects of divorce on children. Today's headlines will fuel the guilt of any person who has failed to stay married, for whatever reason. A survey by Resolution, an association of Family Lawyers, has been spun into a scare story about the awful cost of divorce for children. After a family split, your kids are more likely to be on drugs, fail their exams, self-harm – and that's in between the eating disorders and alcohol problems.
The advice is the same as always: to minimise stress and conflict for the kids; that mediation is better than adversarial battles; that children should never be made to feel it's their fault. In an ideal world we would all achieve this, as we know it to be intellectually true, even if we cannot always carry it through emotionally.
This latest survey, conducted on a mere 500 young people, is deeply problematic. I don't seek to minimise the harm that a bad divorce causes children, but what are we comparing it to? How much emotional harm does a bad marriage cause? Is staying together in silent hostility or ongoing rows better for children?
Also, how can we isolate one factor? Divorce rates are slightly down, but these splits are still, in 65% of cases, initiated by women. The result is that children of divorce often live in poorer housing with less money. To talk about educational attainment we have to look right across socioeconomic factors; we cannot just blame it all on divorce. What are the figures on when co-habitation breaks down?
Emotional trauma may be one part of it; change in material circumstances another. Countless other surveys dispel many of the myths – for example, that divorce affects boys more than girls, as they are more likely to become delinquent. Actually, in the population at large boys are simply more delinquent than girls. To measure the adjustment of kids from “intact” families against those of separated couples, while removing every other variable, does not tell us much at all.
But the right continue to push this agenda for marriage as the only valid family structure, the ideal economic unit. While 42% of marriages end in divorce, less stigmatisation of children whose parents are no longer together would surely be more helpful than the inference that they will all be on crack in the soft play area.
No one doubts that an amicable separation is the goal, but this is not always attainable. Clearly conflict is terrible for kids, which is why some are more damaged by divorce than the death of a parent.
But where are the reports on 500 children whose parents have stayed together for their sake, though gritted teeth? Some of the most messed-up kids I have seen are precisely those of couples who waited until they went off to university to divorce. It meant that their entire childhood and adolescence had been a kind of lie.
Divorce is a sad fact of life. Adults may indeed be selfish, but a child can still have two parents who love them without them living with each other. Piling on the guilt helps no one, and the conservative fetishisation of marriage, combined with a punitive attitude to single parents, is not about concern for children at all. If it was, it would not continue to trap women and children in poverty. If marriage is so naturally desirable there would be no need to bribe people into it via the tax system – a nanny state move if ever I saw one.
Divorce is a very sad thing. Especially for children. But so is the alternative: living unhappily ever after.
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注：完整题目见本文开头；中文文本为机器翻译并非一一对应，仅供参考
含注释全文：
Yes, divorce is bad for children, but let's not fetishise marriage at all costs
From: The Guardian
24 Nov 2014
We are all terribly concerned about the adverse affects of divorce on children. Today's headlines will fuel the guilt of any person who has failed to stay married, for whatever reason. A survey by Resolution, an association of Family Lawyers, has been spun into a scare story about the awful cost of divorce for children. After a family split, your kids are more likely to be on drugs, fail their exams, self-harm – and that's in between the eating disorders and alcohol problems.
我们都非常关注离婚对孩子的负面影响。今天的头条新闻将会加剧那些无论出于何种原因离婚的人的罪恶感。家庭律师协会Resolution的一项调查被解读为离婚将对儿童造成巨大代价的恐怖故事。离婚后，你的孩子更有可能吸毒、考试不及格、自残——这还不包括饮食失调和酗酒问题。
adverse
adverse /ˈæd.vɜːs/ 表示“不利的；负面的；有害的”，英文解释为“having a negative or harmful effect on something”举个🌰：The match has been cancelled because of adverse weather conditions. 由于天气恶劣，这场比赛已被取消。
fuel
fuel /ˈfjuː.əl/ 表示“加剧；增加；加强；刺激；激起”，英文解释为“To fuel a situation means to make it become worse or more intense.”如：to fuel speculation / rumours / fears 引起猜测 / 谣传 / 恐惧，举个🌰：The result will inevitably fuel speculation about his future. 该结果将不可避免地加剧人们对他的前途的猜测。
spin
spin /spɪn/ 作动词，表示“（使）（尤指快速）旋转”，英文解释为“to (cause to) turn around and around, especially fast”举个🌰：The earth spins on its axis. 地球绕地轴旋转。
作名词，表示“旋转；转动”，英文解释为“the movement of something turning round very quickly”举个🌰：I hit something on the road, which sent the car into a spin. 我轧到了路面上的什么东西，整个车直打转。
📍spin (sb) a story/tale/yarn 表示“（为骗人或逗乐）杜撰故事，编造故事”，英文解释为“to tell a story, either to deceive someone or for entertainment”举个🌰：He spun some tale about needing to take time off work because his mother was ill. 他编了个瞎话，说他妈妈病了，他需要请假。They spun us a story about being in desperate need of money. 他们编了个瞎话，说他们急需用钱。
📍be spun into 演变为，转变为（将某些信息或情况转变或改编成另一种形式或叙述）
disorder
disorder /dɪˈsɔː.dər/ 1）表示“混乱，凌乱，杂乱无章”，英文解释为“a state of untidiness or lack of organization”举个🌰：The whole office was in a state of disorder. 整个办公室里凌乱不堪。
2）表示“失调，紊乱”，英文解释为“an illness of the mind or body”如：a blood disorder 血液失调。
The advice is the same as always: to minimise stress and conflict for the kids; that mediation is better than adversarial battles; that children should never be made to feel it's their fault. In an ideal world we would all achieve this, as we know it to be intellectually true, even if we cannot always carry it through emotionally.
建议和往常一样：尽量减少孩子们承受的压力和冲突；调解总比敌对要好；绝不应该让孩子们觉得是他们的过错。在理想状态下，我们都能做到这一点，因为我们理智上知道这是正确的，即便我们在情感上不总能完全做到。
minimise
英式 minimise 美式 minimize /ˈmɪnɪmaɪz/ 1）表示“使降到最低限度；使减到最少”，英文解释为“to reduce something to the least possible level or amount”举个🌰：We must minimize the risk of infection. 我们必须将感染的风险降到最低。
2）表示“对…轻描淡写，有意淡化”，英文解释为“to make something seem less important or smaller than it really is”举个🌰：It's important to focus on your strengths and to minimize your weaknesses. 扬长避短是很重要的。
mediation
mediation /ˌmiː.diˈeɪ.ʃən/ 表示“调解，调停，斡旋”，英文解释为“the process of talking to two separate people or groups involved in a disagreement to try to help them to agree or find a solution to their problems”举个🌰：Last-minute attempts at mediation failed. 最后一刻的调解努力失败了。
adversarial
adversarial /ˌæd.vəˈseə.ri.əl/ 表示“对立的；对抗的；敌对的”，英文解释为“involving people opposing or disagreeing with each other”
intellectually
intellectually /ˌɪn.təlˈek.tʃu.ə.li/ 表示“理智地；动脑筋思考地；运用智力地”，英文解释为“in a way that relates to your ability to think and understand things, especially complicated ideas ”举个🌰：She's hoping to find a job which is more demanding intellectually. 她希望找到一份对智力要求更高的工作。
This latest survey, conducted on a mere 500 young people, is deeply problematic. I don't seek to minimise the harm that a bad divorce causes children, but what are we comparing it to? How much emotional harm does a bad marriage cause? Is staying together in silent hostility or ongoing rows better for children?
这项最新调查仅针对500名年轻人进行了调查，存在很大问题。我并不想淡化糟糕的离婚对孩子们造成的伤害，但我们拿什么来比较呢？糟糕的婚姻会造成多大的情感伤害？在无声的敌意或持续的争吵中维持在一起对孩子们更好吗？
hostility
hostility /hɒsˈtɪl.ə.ti/ 作不可数名词，表示“敌意，不友好”，英文解释为“an occasion when someone is unfriendly or shows that they do not like something”举个🌰：They showed open (= obvious) hostility to/towards their new neighbours. 他们对新邻居表现出了公开的敌意。
📍hostilities 复数，特指“战斗；战争行为”，英文解释为“fighting in a war”举个🌰：Hostilities began/broke out just after midnight. 刚过午夜战斗便打响了。
ongoing
ongoing /ˈɒŋˌɡəʊ.ɪŋ/ 表示“持续存在的；不断发展的；继续进行的；进行中的”，英文解释为“continuing to exist or develop, or happening at the present moment”如：an ongoing investigation/process/project 持续进行的调查/持续的过程/正在实施的工程。
row
1）row /rəʊ/ 表示“一排；一行；一列”，英文解释为“a line of things, people, animals, etc. arranged next to each other”如：a row of houses / books / plants / people / horses 一排房屋 / 一排书 / 一行植物 / 一队人 / 一队马。
2）row /raʊ/ 表示“争吵，吵架；打斗”，英文解释为“a noisy argument or fight”举个🌰：His parents often have rows. 他的父母经常吵架。
Also, how can we isolate one factor? Divorce rates are slightly down, but these splits are still, in 65% of cases, initiated by women. The result is that children of divorce often live in poorer housing with less money. To talk about educational attainment we have to look right across socioeconomic factors; we cannot just blame it all on divorce. What are the figures on when co-habitation breaks down?
此外，我们如何才能考虑离婚这个单一因素呢？虽然离婚率略有下降，但65%的案例中，提出离婚的仍是女方。结果是，离婚后孩子往往生活在更贫困、经济条件更紧张的环境中。要谈论受教育程度，我们必须纵观整个社会经济因素；我们不能把一切都归咎于离婚。当同居关系破裂时，情况又是怎样的？
isolate
isolate /ˈaɪ.sə.leɪt/ 表示“隔离；孤立；分离”，英文解释为“to separate something from other things with which it is connected or mixed；to keep a person or animal separate from other people or animals by putting them in a different place”举个🌰：A high wall isolated the house from the rest of the village. 一堵高墙将这栋房子与村庄的其他部分隔离开来。
socioeconomic
socioeconomic /ˌsəʊ.si.əʊˌek.əˈnɒm.ɪk/ 表示“社会经济的；社会经济地位（不同）的”，英文解释为“related to the differences between groups of people caused mainly by their financial situation”如：socioeconomic groups/groupings 社会经济群体，socioeconomic factors 社会经济因素。
co-habitation
cohabitation /kəʊˌhæb.ɪˈteɪ.ʃən/ 表示“同居”，英文解释为“the act of living and having a sexual relationship with someone, especially someone you are not married to”举个🌰：Cohabitation has been praised as a test drive for marriage. 同居被赞誉为婚姻的试金石。
Emotional trauma may be one part of it; change in material circumstances another. Countless other surveys dispel many of the myths – for example, that divorce affects boys more than girls, as they are more likely to become delinquent. Actually, in the population at large boys are simply more delinquent than girls. To measure the adjustment of kids from “intact” families against those of separated couples, while removing every other variable, does not tell us much at all.
情感创伤可能是其中的一部分；物质环境的变化是另一部分。无数其他调查消除了许多误解，例如，离婚对男孩的影响比女孩大，因为他们更有可能成为问题少年。事实上，在整个人口中，男孩就是比女孩更容易成为问题少年。仅仅对比来自“完整”家庭与分居家庭孩子之间的适应情况，同时排除其他所有因素，这实际上并没有提供太多有用的信息。
trauma
trauma /ˈtrɔːmə/ /ˈtrɑː.mə/ 表示“精神创伤，心理创伤”，英文解释为“(a) severe emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience”举个🌰：He had psychotherapy to help him deal with his childhood traumas. 他进行了心理治疗以医治童年时代受到的心理创伤。
dispel
dispel /dɪˈspel/ 表示“消除（恐惧）；扫除（疑虑）；打消（错误念头）”，英文解释为“To dispel an idea or feeling that people have means to stop them having it.”举个🌰：He is attempting to dispel the notion that he has neglected the economy. 他正试图消除他忽视了经济这一想法。
📺美剧《24小时》（24 Hours）中的台词提到：He said the best way to dispel public misperception is to address it directly. 他说过打消公众疑虑的最好办法 就是直面公众坦诚相告。
myth
myth /mɪθ/ 表示“神话；普遍但却错误的看法，无根据的观念”，英文解释为“a commonly believed but false idea”举个🌰：Statistics disprove the myth that women are worse drivers than men. 统计数据证明，女人驾车技术比男人差的观念是错误的。
delinquent
delinquent /dɪˈlɪŋ.kwənt/ 作形容词，表示“不良的；违法的”，英文解释为“illegal or not acceptable, or behaving in a way that is illegal or not acceptable”举个🌰：They are carrying out research on the causes of delinquent behaviour among young people. 他们正在研究青少年违法行为的产生原因。
作名词，表示“（通常指年轻的）违法者；不良青少年”，英文解释为“a person, usually young, who behaves in a way that is illegal or not acceptable to most people”如：juvenile delinquents 青少年罪犯。
intact
intact /ɪnˈtækt/ 表示“完好无损；完整”，英文解释为“ complete and not damaged”举个🌰：Most of the house remains intact even after two hundred years. 虽然过了两百年，这房子的大部分还保持完好。He emerged from the trial with his reputation intact. 他受审获释，名誉丝毫未受损害。
🎬《奇异博士》（Doctor Strange）中的台词提到的：Cranial nerves intact. 脑神经完好无损。
variable
variable /ˈveə.ri.ə.bəl/ 作形容词，表示“多变的；反复无常的”，英文解释为“likely to change often”如：a variable interest rate 不断变化的利率。
作名词，表示“可变情况；变量；可变因素”，英文解释为“a situation, number or quantity that can vary or be varied”举个🌰：With so many variables, it is difficult to calculate the cost. 有这么多的可变因素，很难计算出成本。
补充：
📍constant作名词，表示“常数；常量”，英文解释为“a number or quantity that does not vary”。
But the right continue to push this agenda for marriage as the only valid family structure, the ideal economic unit. While 42% of marriages end in divorce, less stigmatisation of children whose parents are no longer together would surely be more helpful than the inference that they will all be on crack in the soft play area.
但右翼仍继续推动这一议程，将婚姻作为唯一有效的家庭结构和理想的经济单位。虽然42%的婚姻以离婚告终，但减少对离异家庭儿童的歧视无疑比暗示他们将在儿童游乐区吸食毒品更有帮助。
vaild
valid /ˈvæl.ɪd/ 表示“确凿的；合理的；有根据的；让人信服的”，英文解释为“based on truth or reason; able to be accepted”如：a valid argument / criticism / reason 令人信服的论据 / 批评 / 理由。
stigmatisation
英式 stigmatisation /ˌstɪɡmətaɪˈzeɪʃn/ 美式 stigmatization /ˌstɪɡmətəˈzeɪʃn/ 表示“羞辱，污名化”，英文解释为“the act of treating someone or something unfairly by publicly disapproving of them”举个🌰：Care needs to be taken to ensure there is no stigmatization of children based on their home circumstances. 需要注意的是，确保不因儿童的家庭情况而对其进行污名化。
inference
inference /ˈɪn.fər.əns/ 表示“推断，推论，推理”，英文解释为“a guess that you make or an opinion that you form based on the information that you have”举个🌰：They were warned to expect a heavy air attack and by inference many casualties. 他们被警告可能会受到严厉的空中打击，由此推断会有许多人员伤亡。
on crack
“on crack”是一个俚语表达，指的是吸食或依赖可卡因（crack cocaine），一种非常成瘾的毒品。
No one doubts that an amicable separation is the goal, but this is not always attainable. Clearly conflict is terrible for kids, which is why some are more damaged by divorce than the death of a parent.
虽然大家都认为好聚好散是理想目标，但这并非总能够实现。显然，冲突对孩子们来说是可怕的，这就是为什么父母离婚比父母去世对有些孩子的伤害更大。
amicable
amicable /ˈæmɪkəbəl/ 表示“友好的，和睦的”，英文解释为“relating to an agreement or decision that is achieved without people arguing or being unpleasant”举个🌰：Few people have amicable divorces. 很少有人在离婚时好说好散。
But where are the reports on 500 children whose parents have stayed together for their sake, though gritted teeth? Some of the most messed-up kids I have seen are precisely those of couples who waited until they went off to university to divorce. It meant that their entire childhood and adolescence had been a kind of lie.
但是，那些父母为了孩子而咬牙坚持在一起的500个孩子的报道在哪里呢？我见过的一些最有问题的孩子，恰恰就是那些父母等孩子上大学后才离婚的。这意味着他们的整个童年和青春期都生活在谎言之下。
grit your teeth
1）表示“（常指因愤怒而）咬牙切齿”，英文解释为“to press your top and bottom teeth together, often in anger”举个🌰：He gritted his teeth in silent fury. 他气得咬牙切齿，一言不发。
2）表示“咬紧牙关，下定决心（去应付棘手的局面）”，英文解释为“to accept a difficult situation and deal with it in a determined way”举个🌰：We had to grit our teeth and agree with their conditions because we wanted the contract. 因为我们想要拿到那份合同，就必须咬牙答应他们的条件。
adolescence
adolescence /ˌædəˈles(ə)ns/ 表示“青春期”，英文解释为“Adolescence is the period of your life in which you develop from being a child into being an adult.”
Divorce is a sad fact of life. Adults may indeed be selfish, but a child can still have two parents who love them without them living with each other. Piling on the guilt helps no one, and the conservative fetishisation of marriage, combined with a punitive attitude to single parents, is not about concern for children at all. If it was, it would not continue to trap women and children in poverty. If marriage is so naturally desirable there would be no need to bribe people into it via the tax system – a nanny state move if ever I saw one.
离婚是生活中一个可悲的事实。成年人可能确实很自私，但即使父母不住在一起，孩子仍然可以有两个爱他们的父母。增加内疚感无济于事，保守派对婚姻的过度迷恋以及对单亲家庭的惩罚性态度根本不是出于对孩子的关心。如果真是这样，就不会继续让女性和儿童陷入贫困。如果婚姻本身如此令人向往，就没有必要通过税收体系鼓励人们结婚——这是典型的国家干预行为。
conservative
conservative /kənˈsɜː.və.tɪv/ 表示“保守的；守旧的”，英文解释为“not usually liking or trusting change, especially sudden change”如：a conservative society/outlook 保守的社会/观念。
Conservative 表示“（英国）保守党的”，英文解释为“belonging to or supporting the British political party that traditionally supports business and opposes high taxes and government involvement in industry”如：the Conservative Party 保守党，Conservative policies 保守党奉行的政策。
fetishisation
英式 fetishisation /fet.ɪʃ.aɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/ 美式 fetishization 表示“盲目迷恋；恋物”，英文解释为“To be excessively or irrationally devoted to (an object, activity, etc).”
punitive
punitive /ˈpjuːnɪtɪv/表示“惩罚性的；刑罚的；处罚的”，英文解释为“intended as punishment”举个🌰：There are calls for more punitive measures against people who drink and drive. 有人呼吁对酒后驾车的人要有更具处罚性的措施。
bribe
bribe /braɪb/ 可作动词也可以作名词，表示“贿赂；收买”，英文解释为“money or a present that you give to someone so that they will do something for you, usually something dishonest”，收受贿赂 accept bribes/ take bribes，举个🌰：He was accused of accepting/taking bribes from wealthy businessmen. 他被指控收受富商们的贿赂。
nanny
nanny /ˈnæn.i/ 表示“（照看小孩的）保姆”，英文解释为“a woman whose job is to take care of a particular family's children”
📍The nanny state表示“保姆式国家”，英文解释为“a disapproving way of talking about the fact that government seems to get too much involved in people's lives and to protect them too much, in a way that limits their freedom”
📍“a nanny state move if ever I saw one”用来描述一种过度干预个人生活的行为。这里的“nanny state”是一个常用的政治术语，指的是像保姆一样过分干预个人生活，特别是在个人选择和自由方面。所以，当作者说“a nanny state move if ever I saw one”，他们是在强调这种干预是一个典型的、明显的保姆式国家行为。
Divorce is a very sad thing. Especially for children. But so is the alternative: living unhappily ever after.
离婚是一件非常悲哀的事情。特别是对于孩子来说。但另一种选择：从此过着不幸福的生活，同样是悲哀的。
alternative
alternative /ɒlˈtɜː.nə.tɪv/本身可以作名词也可以作形容词，表示“可替代的，供选择的（事物）”，英文解释为“An alternative plan or method is one that you can use if you do not want to use another one.”举个🌰：An alternative venue for the concert is being sought. 正在寻找其他可举办音乐会的地方。
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