Cynthia：色情片明星教会我什么是活在爱里

翻译、编辑：云舟Vala

作者：辛西娅 Cynthia（澳）

 What a porn star taught me about Living Love

我坐在一辆纽约的出租车上，在白天变成夜晚的时候快速穿过市区，有一点不安，不确定自己要干什么。

I’m sitting in a New York taxi, speeding across town as the day turns into night, and I’m a little apprehensive. I’m not quite sure what I am in for.

这是在90年代初期，我正在制作一个专题纪录片叫做”神圣的性“。我自己以及副制片人Michael，已经去了世界各地会见谭崔老师。

It’s the early nineties and I am making a feature length documentary film called ‘Sacred Sex’. Myself, and the associate producer Michael, have been travelling around the world meeting pioneering tantra teachers.

那天早些时候我们来到纽约，有人将Annie Sprinkle介绍给我们，她是前色情明星、演员，现在自称是后色情现代主义者。没过多久，我们在她的公寓里开了一个大开眼界的会，房间里装饰着她的海报和照片。安妮是令人愉快的。在了解她、采访她的过程中，我暗自感叹，我发现了一个如此精彩的电影题材——非常开放，而且古怪的是她自己，有一个谭崔性爱在艾滋病后期的美国。

We had arrived in New York earlier that day with an introduction to Annie Sprinkle, ex-porn star, performer and now a self-declared ‘post-porn modernist’. Before long we were having an eye-opening meeting in her apartment, decorated with her posters and photographs. Annie was delightful. Getting to know her, interviewing her, I was silently wrapt that I had found such a wonderful film subject – very open, and weirdly herself, with a great story to tell of tantric sex in post–aids America.

当我们正要离开时，Annie不经意地提到她晚上要开一个只有女性可以参加的”荡妇与女神“工作坊，问我是否愿意前往？是的，我带着好奇并且不知道会发生什么。

As we were leaving, Annie casually mentioned she was holding a women’s only ‘Sluts and Goddesses’ workshop that night and would I like to come? Yes, I said, curious and with no idea what to expect.

ANNIE SPRINKLE

我离开出租车，出现在ANNIE的公寓里。我被两个穿着撩人的色情明星服装的女人迎接。在里面，气氛混乱而有趣。每个地方的女人都在脱衣服，伴随着音乐的脉动。安妮拍下了几个女人的宝丽来照片，她们打扮成色情明星，在工作室的背景下摆姿势，摆出各种挑逗性的姿势。我看得出来，安妮在让那些害羞的女人变得快乐、无耻的荡妇方面是行家里手。我不确定这是否适合这部电影，但感觉很刺激。

I left the taxi and presented myself at Annie’s apartment. I was welcomed in by two women dressed in titillating, porn star outfits. Inside, the atmosphere was chaotic and fun. Women everywhere in stages of undress, with music pulsing. Annie was taking polaroid photos of several women dressed up as porn stars, posing against a studio backdrop and being snapped in various suggestive poses. Annie, I could see, was a pro at getting even the shy women to become happy, outrageous ‘sluts’.  How this would fit into the film, I wasn’t sure, but it felt exciting.

安妮拥抱了我，带我去了美发和化妆部，在一排排暗示性的服装和道具中穿行，从橡胶裙到新娘礼服。她鼓励我尝试各种服装和放荡的身份。比如色情新娘，原来是一个有白色缎面泰迪的短白色面纱，白色鱼网袜由吊带勾住，当然没有内裤。腰部以上是美丽的处女，腰部以下则截然不同。

Annie hugged me and led me to the ‘hair and make-up’ department, walking through racks of suggestive outfits and props, ranging from rubber dresses to bridal wear. She encouraged me to try out various costumes, and ‘slutty’ identities. From bridal porn, which turned out to be a short, white veil with a white satin teddy, white fish net stockings held up by a suspender belt, and of course no panties. Deliciously virginal from the waist up and very different from the waist down.

然后是我的施虐女王，戴着大大的黑色假发，拿着鞭子，穿着红黑相间的性感套装。她非常性感！有深黑色的眼妆和与之相配的态度。最后，还有一个完全不为人知的身份，那是一个穿着橡胶衣服的性女神，有一个巨大的穿戴式阴茎。虚幻而又有趣！那里只有女人，让我觉得玩游戏和享受能量本身是安全的。在这个夜里，还有什么会发生？

Then there was my dominatrix with a big black wig, whip, and red and black sexy outfit. She was hot! With loads of deep black eye make-up and an attitude to match. Lastly there was the fully previously disowned identity of a rubber-dressed sex goddess with a huge strap-on penis. Unreal and so much fun! With only women there, I felt safe to play and enjoy the energy for its own sake. Things were raging in this Slut part of the night – what would come next?

ANNIE SPRINKLE – YIN/YANG

安妮带领我们转入了一种不同的能量，音乐改变了，脉搏减慢了，我们现在准备软化成女神能量。我不记得做了多少事，只是坐在一个松散的圈子里，呼吸，轻轻地跳舞，放松和存在。在体会过荡妇能量之后来到这个环节有更特别的体验。这让我们意识到事实上我们是所有这些能量的统一化身。

Annie segued us into a different energy, the music changed, the pulse slowed down and we were now ready to soften into the Goddess energy. I don’t remember doing much, just sitting in a loose circle, breathing, dancing softly, relaxing and being. It felt even more special for coming after the Slut energy. The realisation that we were indeed all these energies was an embodied one.

今天晚上的所见所闻深深刻画在我的记忆中，现在我迫不及待地想要把这个工作坊拍摄下来，作为我正在制作的电影“神圣的性”的一部分。当我回到我们住的公寓时，我的制片人同事还醒着。他看了我一眼，被我现在传递的能量吓了一跳。我感到充实、自由、愉悦、兴奋、幸福和……性感！

As you can see this evening is imprinted on my memory and I now couldn’t wait to film one of these workshops for the sacred sexuality film I was making. When I arrived ack at the apartment where we were staying, my fellow producer was still awake. He took one look at me and was taken aback at the energy I now transmitted. I felt full, liberated, amused, provoked, blissful and……sexy!

我和Annie Sprinkle的所有联系都很迷人。我从未遇到过像她这样的人。后来我们把Annie带到澳大利亚进行电影发行，她证明了自己是一个野性的女人。毫不羞耻地做自己。

All my connections with Annie Sprinkle turned out to be fascinating. I had never met anyone quite like her. We brought Annie out to Australia later for the film launch and she proved to be one wild woman. Unashamedly herself.

我从Annie那里学到了玩女性能量游戏，为了她们自己，为了她们所解放的东西。以一种安全的方式打破禁忌，不会导致羞愧和恐惧。女人可以是放荡的和神圣的，她们不是对立的，只是女性能量光谱上的不同点。

I learnt from Annie to play with feminine energies for their own sake, for what they liberate. To break through taboos in a safe way that doesn’t lead to shame and fear. That women can be slutty and sacred, and they are not opposites, just different points on a spectrum of feminine energy.

从那以后，我学到的是，对于男人和女人来说，拥有广泛的能量是多么的重要。这些可以通过服装来唤起，或者通过微妙的能量变化来唤起女性或男性的力量。在“活在爱里”工作坊中，我们通过多种方式邀请你去释放任何你需要打开或深化的能量。任何能给你生命中最充分表达的东西。

What I learned then, and since, is how important it is for women and men to have a wide spectrum of their energies available. These can be evoked through costumes, or subtle energetic changes to invoke feminine or masculine power.  In the Living Love workshops, we invite you through many ways to liberate whichever energies you need to open or deepen. Whatever will give you the fullest expression in your life.

当我们整合之前被剥夺的能量时，我们就能在其中拥有被压抑的能量，以供我们生活和爱。

When we integrate previously disowned energies, we can have the repressed power in them available for our living and loving.

最重要的是，我们可以玩得很开心！

And, most of all we can have fun!

love

Cynthia Connop

“活在爱里”工作坊提供了一个安全、有趣的空间，来疗愈，来看见和珍视你真实的内在。我们将探索真实的本性和天赋，以及我们想要如何去爱和被爱。参加完工作坊后，你会对自己的魅力和价值更有信心。人们对你的反应会不同，异性也会更喜欢你。

Creating an awakened loving world

创造一个苏醒的、充满爱的世界

where we honour and celebrate the differences between men and women.

在那里我们荣耀并庆祝男人和女人之间的差异

Cynthia connop,livging love

辛西娅，活在爱里

活在爱里—女性能量工作坊 

2018年12月1-4日 杭州 Cynthia带领

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