Guarding Against the Gimmies, Greed and Eco-Guilt

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year! For everything except your bank account. Gift-giving is part of most winter holiday traditions around the world, and it’s a really fun part to boot. But if you are like so many of us and enjoy a life of excess, then you probably know what it’s like to look around at piles of toys in your home and think: Do we really need or want more? Where are we going to put them? Why are we spending money on something they will be sick of in a few weeks…or hours? What about the environmental costs of all of that extra packaging and shipping?

But it’s hard to give up the joy of watching a child rip into a box on Christmas morning. So here are a few ways to keep the joy but potentially dump the price tag and the eco-guilt this holiday season.

GOGO (aka Gift One Get One): If your child has a lot of toys they no longer use, suggest donating them. Choose a charity – or better yet, let them choose one – and then spend an afternoon sorting through the toy box. Not only will you be helping to make someone else’s holiday brighter but you are teaching your child how to gracefully let go of something they no longer want or need. However, be patient with them and don’t push. I know plenty of adults – myself included – who still struggle with letting go of things from time to time. Let your child know you are proud of them for making room in their life for new things and helping others in the process.

Second-hand stores: Instead of refilling the toy chest with brand new stuff, check out some local second-hand stores. Roundabout in Shunyi always has an abundant toy section, and second-hand groups on WeChat like live lighter, live better!! and 2nd Hand Beijing Bargains are a great source for local, gently used toys. The kids will not care that it’s used because it’s new to them, perspective is everything! Just make sure to thoroughly sanitize before you regift!

Toy swaps: Toy swaps are another fantastic idea. You can make a day of it and invite friends over for brunch. Put all the toys in the center and browse while you sip and chat. To add to the fun – and the charitable nature of the season – you can bid on the toys you want with the money going to charity at the end of the day.

If that seems like a little too much work, try setting up a virtual swap on WeChat. People can post pics of what they are letting go of and set a time for pick up with anyone interested in giving it a new home. Simple, local, and free. ‘Gotta love it!

Just the Box: You know how everyone asks why they buy gifts if the kids just play with the boxes? Seriously, just wrap empty boxes! If your child is under 2, giving them permission to rip open pretty paper, play with ribbons, and crawl in and out of cardboard boxes filled with leftover tissue paper or Easter grass will make them insanely happy and you will get awesome pictures. Even slightly older, more creative kids might enjoy the challenge of a massive box filled with crayons, stickers, glitter glue, and a note that says “I’m whatever your imagination can make me.” I remember the summer my parents got a new refrigerator. That box was everything from a spaceship to a Barbie dream house and a wild bear cave. It was hours of totally free fun and to this day the best clubhouse I’ve ever had.

Gift experiences: Mommy and me classes, ski lessons, or a summer spent interning at their favorite fashion house (if you have that kind of pull please call me…I need to be your best friend)! Gifting experiences is my favorite because not only is it unique and personal, but it is world expanding. You never know what experience will inspire a child. The summer spent at space camp or that weekend cooking class could spark a career. Learning to scuba dive could turn them into a passionate defender of our planet and the voice lesson they take might be valuable for a future politician’s public speaking skills. Kids are a collection of untapped talent and undiscovered potential. Gifting them the opportunity to explore who they are…priceless.

Gift family memories: We get limited time with our nuclear family. Every holiday that ticks past, every summer that speeds by is one fewer before college, new jobs, new cities, and eventually new families of their own. Gifts that create a memory are powerful because there will never be another moment exactly like this one. And when the new job is difficult, and the new city is lonely and scary and building our own families is so much harder than our own parents made it look, those memories give us strength. They remind us we are loved and cherished. They ground us in who we were so we can become who we want to be. You didn’t realize that the family photo shoot on the beach or the afternoon learning to make pizza together or the snowball fights up at the cabin were so important, did you? If it’s a choice between everyone getting smaller gifts or the family taking a vacation or class together my vote is to always opt for the memories!

I’m not nay-saying gifts. I love a sparkly piece of jewelry or a fun new gadget as much as the next person. But sometimes more is just more and in a world where we have a whole lot of stuff one click away (be honest, you lost your mind on 11.11 just like everybody else), sometimes the best gifts aren’t new and shiny!

This article first appeared in the Jingkids 2021 November-December issue.

Photos: Pexels

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