美国确诊超86万例！崔娃最新吐槽：特朗普一定认为，混乱才是当下的关键工作！（附视频&解说稿）

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据美国约翰斯·霍普金斯大学疫情实时监测系统显示，截至美东时间4月23日下午5时41分，美国已至少有新冠病毒感染病例864415例，包括死亡病例47892例。

与该系统大约24小时前的数据相比，美国新增感染病例17433例，新增死亡病例1283例。

随着疫情持续扩散，美国《每日秀》主持人崔娃又更新了最新一期社交隔离秀来吐槽川普政府应对新冠疫情的混乱，已经川普本人的胡言乱语！

同时，崔娃在节目中称，研究表明美国早在2月就有人因新冠死亡，比之前公布的首个确诊病例时间要早出好几周。另外，1月份美国境内就有上万个隐藏病例在人群中流动了。面对疫情变得越来越严重，崔娃对川普政府的应对很迷茫，而且每一次疫情简报会也是混乱为主线，崔娃不禁发问：为什么川皇从来不听可以解决问题的专业人士的建议，专门听那些制造麻烦的人说的话。今天的梗超多，慢慢服用。

崔娃辣评川普“混乱”的疫情应对 

By 精彩英语演讲

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Researchers are finding out that coronavirus arrived in the United States a lot earlier than we thought. Officials in California have discovered that their first corona deaths actually happened in early February, weeks before the first U.S. case was officially diagnosed. 

And a new data analysis shows that tens of thousands of hidden infections were just silently spreading through American cities in January and February. 

So basically, every day, we're still learning more and more about this coronavirus. I'm sure eventually we're gonna get through its whole origin story. You know? It'll be like with the Joker, where we're all gonna be like, "Oh... "he's evil because he has to walk up those stairs every day. It makes sense." 

But this is big news. If more people have been infected by the coronavirus than we thought, then that means more people have survived the coronavirus than we originally thought, which means the lockdowns don't help, because we weren't locked down and the people didn't die, except that they did die, and we didn't know that they were dying, and now that they're not dying, that means that the lockdowns are helping, so all we need is herd immunity tracing programs that isolate the antibodies, and we should be fine. 

Now, I don't know what any of that means, but... I read a lot of this on Twitter. In other news, the coronavirus has been shutting down events all over the world. From sporting events to concerts to that big Illuminati meeting that was scheduled for the weekend of the (bleep) at (bleep) next to the Denny's on Route 9. 

And now... corona has even come for the National Spelling Bee. Yeah, that's right. They announced that the spelling bee has officially been... (buzzer buzzing) No, not "C." (buzzing) The point is, the spelling bee's not happening this year. And I'm not gonna lie. I feel so bad for these kids who have been training their whole lives for this, and now it's all for nothing. Because let's be honest. 

Aside from winning this competition, there's no other use for knowing how to spell difficult words. "Oh, my God. I think I'm having a heart attack. Can anybody help?" "No, but I can spell 'defibrillator.' D-E..." Now, if these spelling bee kids were planning to drown their sorrows, I've got some more bad news. 

Germany has canceled Oktoberfest. Partially because of coronavirus and partially because you can't celebrate Oktoberfest when no one knows what month it is anymore. Do you know? 'Cause I don't know. And this is huge, because it's the first time Oktoberfest has been canceled since World War II. And it's actually nice. It's actually nice that the Germans had the decency to cancel it during World War II, 'cause, I mean, otherwise, that would have just been rude. "And now we invade France!" 

But for real, though, man, this is a big blow for Germany because Oktoberfest... Oktoberfest is not just a big cultural event. It's the one time a year that Germans actually have fun. You know, the rest of the year, they bottle it up. Yeah, they'll be on roller coasters like, "Here comes the loop the loop part. Whoo. Whoo." All right, that's it for the headlines. 

Let's get straight to the big story. Ever since coronavirus started, nothing has been the same. Policing is not the same. Relationships are not the same. Getting drunk at 10:00 a.m. is not the same. I mean, it's way less exciting if everyone's doing it now. But there's one thing that's remained surprisingly constant, and that's been the chaos within the Trump administration. 

Because where most administrations would be galvanized by an external threat, this White House seems to think of chaos as an essential service that they need to keep providing. And yesterday, it all spilled out into the open, starting with a bombshell. 

The scientist in charge of the government's efforts to make a coronavirus vaccine suddenly got fired with no explanation. Now, he says it's because he disagreed with President Trump about pushing hydrochloroquine as a miracle drug. Right? But then some people who worked with him said, actually, he was fired because he wasn't good at his job and he was working too slowly. 

And I'm sorry, people, but this is insane. We're in the middle of a pandemic, and Trump's people are squabbling like they're on an Andy Cohen reunion show. And to make things even worse, when President Trump was asked why the guy in charge of finding a vaccine was fired, this is how he responded. I never heard of him. You just mentioned the name. I never heard of him. 

When did this happen? -This happened today. -Well, I never heard of him. Uh, the guy says he was pushed out of a job. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn't. You'd have to hear the other side. I don't know who he is. That's right. Trump has never heard of the guy in charge of finding a vaccine. And you know what? To be honest, part of me is not surprised. "Sir, would you like to meet the scientist who's in charge of finding the vaccine?" "A scientist? Ew, gross. I'd rather meet Eric." And here's my only question about Trump. 

Why does he never hear of the people who are trying to solve problems, but people who are trying to cause problems? "Hello, Giuliani? "Yeah, some guy has the cure in his lab. "I need you to get in there and do your Tasmanian Devil thing." 

I don't understand how Trump has never heard of the person in charge of finding the vaccine to the disease that has shut down the entire world. And don't tell me it's because he's too busy. I mean, this is the same man, the same man who says he's been watching every nightly news show plus CNN, MSNBC in the morning, Fox News on weekend afternoons, and even reruns of baseball. 

Reruns! Let me tell you something. If you have time to watch reruns of baseball, you have time for anything. Baseball is boring when it's happening. Watching it in reruns is like watching paint dry through a PowerPoint presentation. "And for this next one..." But you know what? Maybe the vaccine guy is actually lucky that Trump doesn't know who the hell he is, because the people that Trump does know, they have it even worse. 

Robert Redfield, director of the CDC and guy who owns a pharmacy in every western, made news when he told The Washington Post that next winter, a second wave of coronavirus could be even more difficult to handle because it could coincide with flu season. And the idea of corona and flu hitting us simultaneously is terrifying. Because that means we're gonna have to do double social distancing. We got to wear two masks. We got to stay 12 feet away from people. 

We're gonna have to watch celebrities sing "Imagine" twice. (echoing): ♪ Imagine there's no people. ♪ Oh, and the president was clearly unhappy with what the CDC director said, because right after the article came out, Trump tried to call backsies. 

NEWSWOMAN: The president also trying to walk back the head of the CDC's warning about a second wave of the virus next fall, claiming it was fake news. Totally misquoted. I spoke to him. He said it was ridiculous. He was talking about the flu and corona coming together at the same time. 

NEWSWOMAN: Bringing Redfield to the podium to clarify. I didn't say that this was gonna be worse. I said it was gonna be more difficult and potentially complicated 'cause we'll have flu and coronavirus circulate at the same time. 

Ah. Okay. So it's not going to get worse. It's just going to be more difficult and complicated. If only there was one word that could summarize that general feeling. You know, I'll be honest. I actually feel sorry for all of these experts who have to share the stage with Trump, because think about their job. They have to walk a fine line of giving everyone accurate information but then also making sure that they don't say anything that angers their boss. In a way, working for Trump is like being married to Carole Baskin. 

One foot wrong, and you don't know what could happen. I mean, we don't know what happened, but we know what happened. And, you know, the chaos of this administration would be bad enough if it was just confined to Washington, but what makes this thing worse-- I'm sorry, what makes it more difficult to contain-- is that the chaos is now spreading around the country. Because last week, Trump encouraged governors to reopen their economies. 

But now, now that Georgia's Trump-loving Governor Brian Kemp has done exactly what Trump is saying, all of a sudden it's like, "Oh, snap. You on your own, son." I told the governor of Georgia, Brian Kemp, that I disagree strongly with his decision to open certain facilities. I want him to do what he thinks is right, uh, but I disagree with him on what he's doing. So, do I agree with him? No. But I respect him, and I will let him make his decision. Would I do that? No. I'd keep them a little longer. I want to protect people's lives. You have got to be kidding me. 

Trump didn't just throw Brian Kemp under the bus. He basically looked up the bus schedule in advance, told Brian Kemp to meet him at the road at 3:15, and then guess who was driving. And, you know, this is what you get when you roll with Donald Trump. These guys are trying so hard to suck up to him. And then when they're fully committed, bam, he can just sell you out. This whole Trump and-and Kemp thing, it sort of reminds me of Eminem and Stan. In fact, it's almost exactly the same as Eminem and Stan. 

-"Hey, Donald, I just opened up my state. Dare me to drive?" "I said that shit just clowning, dawg. "How (bleep)ed up is you? "I saw this one dude on the news, "said he's opening bowling alleys, too. "And now that I think about it, oh, shit, it was you." Well, that's our show for tonight. 

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