How to meditate your way to orgasmic bliss

I was one of those women who have difficulty achieving orgasms and feel “something is wrong with me”, often when I heard about other women’s orgasms I felt terribly inferior and unworthy.

Until I started to circulate my sexual energy and bring the meditative quality into slow self-pleasuring.

Here is the method in a nutshell:

 Inhale, move the energy down the front of your body by intention and/or visualization, feel the energy filling your pelvis.

 Exhale, squeeze your pelvic floor and move the energy upward along the spine.

 You can do it with or without touching yourself. If you are touching yourself, take it slow to leave enough space to feel deeply into each moment. You can do it for a few minutes or a bit longer depending on what feels right for you. 

 For some people it’s more natural to exhale down and inhale up, which is totally ok.

 Always end with moving the energy down to your lower belly (so that it will not get stuck in your head).

This basic energy circulation method has many different versions, some of them are quite serious and complicated, requiring lots of practice. It’s designed to help circulate your life force throughout the body to have a vibrant life.

To keep it simple in this article, I will not talk about things like transforming sexual energy into spiritual power.

Some people might not feel explicit energy sensations especially in the beginning, which is totally normal. I don’t feel that much either. 

Actually, what really benefited me was the meditative quality when I do the circulation while touching myself.

Very often, when people self-pleasure, they are immersed in fantasies and in a rush for a release, which is totally fine, it’s just not the only possibility.

What if you put aside fantasy and tune in with what you feel in your body? What if you forget there is a “goal” at all and dive as deep as possible in each and every moment?

Feel into the yearning. Let it penetrate you. Be with it completely.

It’s vulnerable to feel fully. People often want to get rid of their sexual energy as soon as possible as if it was a burden. It’s not a burden, it’s a freaking powerful life force, it’s vital for your blossoming in the world.  

Know that it’s safe to feel fully. You are in full control-you can slow down or take a break if it really feels overwhelming.

If you’ve done intensive meditation, you might be already familiar with meditating into pain without aversion during long sitting sessions. 

You can use the same awareness and equanimity to meditate into sexual sensations with relaxation and surrender. Remember to breathe consciously. 

Be a 100% observer and a 100% participant. 

Orgasms often come when you enjoy the moment so much that you totally forget there is one thing called orgasm at all.

There is a practice called “Orgasmic Meditation”, which is about having a partner steadily stroking your clitoris for 15 minutes without aiming for orgasms.

I’ve never done any OM workshop but feel really inspired by certain elements in their introduction, such as stable angle and speed, mindfulness, not aiming for coming, and sufficient lube.

Sometimes lots of lube can bring the experience to another level. Some women might touch themselves when they are not very wet and use saliva as the convenient lube, which can be a bit too thin and doesn't last long enough. 

Very often in partner play, we kind of have the pressure to come, worry about “taking too long”, or contract when the stimulation is overwhelming, therefore don’t have the spaciousness to fully relax and surrender.

Great self-exploration lays a solid foundation for great partner play. 

You can train your body to know how to surrender by yourself and probably you don’t even need to do the circulation/meditation exercise when playing with a partner-your body remembers. 

Now is the time to go ahead to experience yourself, and let me know how it goes if you want. 

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