语言教学 | 普渡大学写作教学系列Teacher&Tutor Resource21-Writing Instructor(21)

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13.Writing tutors

（4）Using Metaphors in Creative Writing

What is a metaphor?

The term metaphor meant in Greek "carry something across" or "transfer," which suggests many of the more elaborate definitions below:

Metaphor Table
Definition	Origin
A comparison between two things, based on resemblance or similarity, without using "like" or "as"	most dictionaries and textbooks
The act of giving a thing a name that belongs to something else	Aristotle
The transferring of things and words from their proper signification to an improper similitude for the sake of beauty, necessity, polish, or emphasis	Diomedes
A device for seeing something in terms of something else	Kenneth Burke
Understanding and experiencing one thing in terms of another	John Searle
A simile contracted to its smallest dimensions	Joseph Priestly

Related terms

Related Terms Table
extended or telescoping metaphor: A sustained metaphor.	The teacher descended upon the exams, sank his talons into their pages, ripped the answers to shreds, and then, perching in his chair, began to digest.
implied metaphor : A less direct metaphor.	John swelled and ruffled his plumage. (versus John was a peacock)
mixed metaphor: The awkward, often silly use of more than one metaphor at a time. To be avoided!	The movie struck a spark that massaged the audience's conscience.
dead metaphor: A commonly used metaphor that has become over time part of ordinary language.	tying up loose ends, a submarine sandwich, a branch of government, and most clichés
simile: A comparison using "like" or "as"	Her face was pale as the moon.
metonym: The substitution of one term for another with which it is commonly associated or closely related.	the pen is mightier than the sword, the crown (referring to a Queen or King), hands (referring to workers who use their hands)
synecdoche: The substitution of a part for the whole or vice versa (a kind of metonym).	give us this day our daily bread

Why use metaphors?

• They enliven ordinary language.

  People get so accustomed to using the same words and phrases over and over, and always in the same ways, that they no longer know what they mean. Creative writers have the power to make the ordinary strange and the strange ordinary, making life interesting again.

• They are generous to readers and listeners; they encourage interpretation.

  When readers or listeners encounter a phrase or word that cannot be interpreted literally, they have to think—or rather, they are given the pleasure of interpretation. If you write "I am frustrated" or "The air was cold" you give your readers nothing to do—they say "so what?" On the other hand, if you say, "My ambition was Hiroshima, after the bombing," your readers can think about and choose from many possible meanings.

• They are more efficient and economical than ordinary language; they give maximum meaning with a minimum of words.

  By writing "my dorm is a prison," you suggest to your readers that you feel as though you were placed in solitary, you are fed lousy food, you are deprived of all of life's great pleasures, your room is poorly lit and cramped—and a hundred other things, that, if you tried to say them all, would probably take several pages.

• They create new meanings; they allow you to write about feelings, thoughts, things, experiences, etc., for which there are no easy words; they are necessary.

  There are many gaps in language. When a child looks at the sky and sees a star but does not know the word "star," she is forced to say, "Mommy, look at the lamp in the sky!" Similarly, when computer software developers created boxes on the screen as a user interface, they needed a new language; the result was windows. In your poems, you will often be trying to write about subjects, feelings, etc., so complex that you have no choice but to use metaphors.

• They are a sign of genius.

  Or so says Aristotle in Poetics: "[T]he greatest thing by far is to be a master of metaphor." It is "a sign of genius, since a good metaphor implies an intuitive perception of the similarity in dissimilars."

Creative ways to use metaphors

Most books give rather boring examples of metaphors such as my father is a bear or the librarian was a beast. However, in your poetry (and fiction for that matter) you can do much more than say X is Y, like an algebraic formula. Definitely play with extended metaphors (see above) and experiment with some of the following, using metaphors...

Uses of Metaphors
as verbs	The news that ignited his face snuffed out her smile.
as adjectives and adverbs	Her carnivorous pencil carved up Susan's devotion.
as prepositional phrases	The doctor inspected the rash with a vulture's eye.
as appositives or modifiers	On the sidewalk was yesterday's paper, an ink-stained sponge.

Examples

Metaphor Table
Scratching at the window with claws of pine, the wind wants in.	Imogene Bolls, "Coyote Wind"
What a thrill—my thumb instead of an onion. The top quite gone except for a sort of hinge of skin....A celebration this is. Out of a gap a million soldiers run, redcoats every one.	Sylvia Plath, "Cut"
The clouds were low and hairy in the skies, like locks blown forward in the gleam of eyes.	Robert Frost, "Once by the Pacific"
Little boys lie still, awake wondering, wondering delicate little boxes of dust.	James Wright, "The Undermining of the Defense Economy"

（5）Tutoring Lab Reports

For many writing tutors, giving suggestions, or even understanding technical papers on subjects in which they are not expert,s can be difficult. Lab reports can feel particularly dense to writers who are unfamiliar with the discipline or the material in the report. Therefore, it is important to think about the features of writing lab reports that are comparable to other types of academic writing. The purpose of this resource is to help tutors navigate the lab report genre and equip them with strategies for tutoring sessions.

Purpose and Situation

Like all writing, lab reports exist in response to a specific purpose and situation.

Purpose

Many college-level science classes have a lab component to their section wherein students gain hands-on learning experience. The lab report serves the purpose of collecting and reporting what was learned. In a tutoring session, tutors may benefit from focusing on the purpose of lab reports, rather than trying to focus on specialized content. For instance, a tutor may want to begin a session asking the writer about how they understand their draft to reflect what they learned in the experiment in addition to how well it outlines the procedures they performed.

Situation

The goal of scientific experiments and reports is to get students “participating in the acquisition and interpretation of data” (Pechenik 156). It’s important to think about how scientific lab reports, as a genre, reflect the values of observation and discovery. Keep in mind that a lab report is unlike writing in other disciplines—such as the humanities—in that it involves assessing the validity of a hypothesis rather than arguing or exploring a claim (Carter, et al. 398).

Genre Considerations

Lab report genre conventions may be different from other types of writing that tutors typically see, so it is important to consider these differences when setting the agenda for a tutoring session.

Organization

One important characteristic for a tutor to acknowledge is the organization of the lab report. The OWL’s resources on Experimental Reports discusses the sections of lab reports and what writers should consider when working in those sections.

A lab report is a highly structured text, and the depth of each section will vary depending on the writer’s course level. Therefore, tutors may have some questions in mind for specific sections in addition to a general understanding of each section:

Introduction

The writer should describe the general background knowledge necessary for the intended audience to understand the experiment. Does the writer’s introduction section contextualize their experiment by describing its goals and purpose? Is the hypothesis clear? The writer may consult the OWL’s resource on the CARS (Creating a Research Space) Model to learn more about constructing an effective introductory section.

Materials and Methods

The writer describes the procedures and materials used in the experiment to establish the study’s credibility, to contextualize results, and to provide information for replicability. Is it clear what materials and/or participants were used in the experiment? Does the writer also show how she used those materials? Does the writer explain their specific research practices (surveying, statistical analysis, etc.)? Does the writer provide enough detail and context based on the purposes of the experiment?

Results

The writer describes the findings of the experiment without interpreting those findings. Are the findings of the experiment clear to outside readers? Do any charts or visual aids enhance the clarity of the results section? Are the results organized in a coherent, readable way?

Discussion

The writer interprets their findings and states if their hypothesis was valid or invalid. Sometimes the writer may also need to include a separate concluding section that reviews and summarizes their findings and their discussion. In these sections, does the writer give enough attention to interesting and/or unexpected trends in their findings? Does their interpretation relate their findings to their original hypothesis?

Citating Literature

The writer provides the sources they consulted through their research. Do their citations follow the appropriate format for the discipline?

If the tutoring session leads to a more holistic discussion of the report, a tutor may benefit from thinking about the arc of the report. A lab report should successfully

1. Contextualize the study (introduction);

2. State how the study was conducted and what was used to conduct it (materials and methods);

3. State what was found in the study (results);

4. Reflect on the results and how they relate to the original context (discussion);

5. Cite any external research that was used.

Also note that the general organization and particular sections of a lab report may vary depending on the discipline, the course, the instructor, and even the experiment. While the sections described above are common, they may not apply to every report, or there may be additional sections not mentioned here. Just like with any other tutoring session, tutors should consult the assignment sheet and discuss expectations and goals with the writer.

Language and Style

Passive Vs. Active Voice

Writing tutors may have been taught that, in general, the science disciplines predominantly use the passive voice because the action performed within the sentence is emphasized over the individual performing that action. In other words, the passive voice typically emphasizes the data and methods rather than the researchers, which is often desired in scientific communication. While this rule may apply in some situations, it is not universal, and some instructors may specify which sections should be written in the passive voice and which should be written in the active voice.

Point of View

Generally, writers are cautioned to use the third person and avoid the first and second person (I, me, my, we, our, us, you).

Verb Tense

Lab reports are often written in the present tense, but the past tense may be used when describing some methods and/or observations or citing past published work. But, as with every other genre convention, the tutor should ask the writer about the expectations within the discipline and the course.

The Writing Process

A lab report shows the first-hand learning that occurred in an experiment, whereas, in other common writing genres used in university courses, first-hand learning often occurs through the writing process itself. For example, by composing a research paper or a rhetorical/literary analysis, a writer will learn more about the topic that they’re researching or the text they’re analyzing. On the other hand, when composing a lab report, a writer is recording what they have observed and must provide concrete, specific details so readers can follow and potentially repeat the experiment.

Therefore, in a tutoring session, a tutor may focus on how a lab report details what was learned through the experiment. For instance, if the writer is in the brainstorming or drafting stages, the tutor and writer may consider how the content communicates the purpose of each section. The writer may also benefit from discussing how they understand their report working section-by-section and how those sections come together to fulfill the purpose of the entire lab report and show that learning has occurred. These conversations may help the writer recognize how individual writing choices made throughout the document affect the broader context and purposes, and vice versa.

Sources

Carter, Michael, et al. "Teaching Genre to English First-Language Adults: A Study of the

Laboratory Report." Research in the Teaching of English, vol. 38, no. 4, 2004, pp 395-419.

Pechenik, Jan A. A Short Guide to Writing About Biology—8th Edition. Longman, 2001.

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