哈佛青睐的申请文书长得啥样？

今年，除了每年例行的新生调查报告之外，哈佛校报还推介了十位2024届新生的申请文书（全文/点评）。我们从中选取了其中一位国际生的文书，编译如下供读者朋友参考。

姓名

温妮（Winnie）

文书

And, like a mother, it always turns out to be right. Beneath my seemingly chaotic coat of papers and objects; beneath the superfluous, temporary things that define my present life, my desk and my heart remain still—solid, stable, and evergreen, ready to be written onto and scratched into by experience.

而且，就像一位母亲，书桌总会证明自己是对的。在我那些貌似杂乱无章的纸张和物品下面;在定义我目前生活的、多余而临时的东西下面，我的书桌和我的内心岿然不动——安全可靠、经久不衰、随时等待书写和刻画岁月带来的经历。

Soft Wooden Heart

The backbone of my life is my writing desk. I like to describe its surface as an organized mess (despite my parents’ overdramatized description of a bomb site), a state of positive entropy and minimum energy. Math exercises overlap an organizer, set next to almost-empty tubes of paint and overdue library books. A constantly filled bottle of water sits behind a glasses’ case full of guitar picks, and carved into a mountain of paper, right in the middle, is a space reserved for my laptop—on days when I am slouching, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare needs to be slid under it. An eclectic desk shows an eclectic personality; mine has had the honor of being the training grounds prior to the Great (final) Battle (exam) of Chemistry, the peaceful meadow of relaxed reading afternoons, and all in all the pristine-turned-colorful canvas of an inquisitive mind.

I remember buying it with my mother five years ago, when my bruised knees protested against the tiny white-paint-gone-yellow one I had used since childhood. My new desk was made of native Rimu heartwood—solid, resilient, dependable—a perfect role model for me to grow into. Over the years, its material became representative of my New Zealand identity, its surface slowly coated in quirky personality, and its compartments filled with treasured memories; the heartwood desk echoed my heart.

At first, it did not fit with the decor of the rest of my room, which even now appears boxy and stark next to my grandiosely elegant writing desk, but its quiet strength is unafraid of individuality, just as I have learned to become. It has watched as I grew stronger branches, a straighter trunk, firmer roots; whereas I had once been but a shy young seedling, I sprouted leaves and with them the ability and yearning to provide shade for others. I have certainly physically grown into it, but although I would like to think that I have become completely independent, I remain human; in inevitable times of need, it is still my steadfast, sturdy desk that offers its support.

I sit here and, well, I write: joyfully, desolately, irately, wistfully—at times paralyzed by excitement, at others crippled by fear. I scrawl notes in my organizer (which is, naturally, not in the least organized), words overflow my blog, overemotional oranges and blues plague my illustrations; shallow scratch marks indent the wood from where I have pressed too passionately into paper. It may be solid, but it is elastic enough to be shaped, resilient enough to adapt: This is my soft wooden heart.

It can take it. My desk remains constant despite scars of experience—unassuming, stoic, ever watchful. Even when I dismembered dying cell phones, their frail key tones pleading for mercy, the desk stood there, nonchalant. Regardless of what fervor goes on from time to time, it knows there will eventually be a constant calm; my lively nest of rebuilt mobiles still calls this place home. Sometimes, I rest my uncertain head on its reassuring solid surface and the wood presses back into my heartbeat, communicating in Morse: “Don’t worry. Some things will never change.”

And, like a mother, it always turns out to be right. Beneath my seemingly chaotic coat of papers and objects; beneath the superfluous, temporary things that define my present life, my desk and my heart remain still—solid, stable, and evergreen, ready to be written onto and scratched into by experience.

点评

温妮的作品告诉我们，有意义的作品不一定非得与重大的个人成就或痛苦的人身经历扯上关系。很多时候，最动人心弦的文书可以出自一些非常简单和意想不到的东西，例如一张书桌。温妮文书的成功之处在于让读者进入自己的世界，我们在她的世界发现一个秀外慧中，独一无二，颇具自我意识的女孩子。透过那张丰富多彩的书桌，我们见证了她对艺术的兴趣，她的学术实力，及其挑战拖延症的努力。我们还看到她将自己的传承引以为豪、她与自我怀疑针锋相对、及其适应坏境和拥抱全新经历的坚定信心。在结尾部分，我们感觉犹如在教室聆听她发出的声音，或者相邻而坐在图书馆，我们一眼就会认出她来。

运用鲜活语言的能力同样给温妮的文书带来一些挑战。她以极具创意的方式为我们呈现如此众多的事物，这让读者在争夺其注意力的诸多丰富信息和形象表达之间感觉无所适从。大学申请文书是一个展现自我的绝佳良机，但没有必要通过短短650个单词和盘托出个人生活的所有方方面面。即使对最有天赋的作者而言，少往往就是多！

备注：

除了删除身份细节外，本文按照申请提交版本复制，即使存在任何瑕疵也予以保留，以期原汁原味地展现文书。

结语：

与往年不同，今年的哈佛校报没有提供文书作者的其他个人信息，例如年级排名、课外活动、领导能力、标化分数等。因此我们无法结合这些背景信息来解读文书内容。

随着新冠病毒在全美各地肆虐，高等院校不得已将传统上一些最重要的招生评估因素——标化分数和平时成绩等学术量化指标的参考权重予以降低。因此文书等较为软性的指标毫无疑问显得更为重要。有兴趣的读者可通过以下链接（无法在微信直接打开，请复制并黏贴至浏览器；或直接点击“阅读原文”）查看其他九篇2024届哈佛新生的文书和点评：

https://www.thecrimson.com/topic/sponsored-successful-harvard-essays-2020/

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作者：Pearly，本文经授权发表，归属作者所有。

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