美国人的收养理念｜ 凯蒂的收养之旅

Katie的妈妈是做特殊教育的，她爸爸是非常成功的企业家，她们的原生家庭其实是非常富裕的，她选择这样一条艰苦的窄路，是因为信仰。

Katie的姐姐也领养了两个孩子，一个非洲的，一个中国的，其中一个是聋人。

其实有不少跟Katie一样的收养的家庭，他们每年都有组织一个收养妈妈聚会，互相吐槽互相支持。可能关于收养的话题，之前关注比较多的都是孩子，而收养父母的孤单孤独和艰难很少被提及。我跟Katie去年就聊过，考虑成立一个非盈利组织，帮助这些收养家庭。但是这个想法都是一个长期的计划，需要慢慢来。

这次的捐助活动本来有点一时兴起，只想找周围朋友忽悠下，给她家买点圣诞礼物之类的，没想，罗新的文章一下子把全世界各地良善的爱心全给煽呼起来。一方面，我们觉得很抱歉，完全没有预备好这个局面，可能回应你们也不及时，因为我们也手忙脚乱。另一方面，也是好事，无意间推动我们快速启动一些想法。

我们正在跟Katie商量，也许会尽快注册这样的非盈利组织，做一些长期的计划。来自全世界的汹涌的爱，让我们几个发起这个“忽悠”的志愿者（旭红、罗新，Tracy，包括我自己)这几天有点被淹没了。

我们也简单分享了一下大概的情况给Katie和Craig，他们非常非常感动，极其感恩.....。

Katie已经通过PayPal收到一些钱。她今天就出门去给艾薇买了许多东西，都是艾薇需要的。她把购物清单给了我，我说不用，她说“我以后还会这样做的，要让大家知道自己的钱都花在了什么地方。”

容我们被这么多爱冲击的小心脏，稍微calm down一点，然后来从长计议。谢谢所有朋友们！（郑琼）

想知道昨天发生了什么，请看这篇文章：收养了三个中国残疾儿童的他们，如今却面临困境

凯蒂和克雷格是密西根州一户普通的美国家庭，他们有3个亲生的孩子，从2012年开始计划收养有特殊需求的孩子，2013年从广州收养了一位5岁的患有地中海贫血症的中国男孩，2015年又分别从河南信阳和江西南昌收养了两位4岁的中国女盲童（天生盲眼症），从开始准备收养到把孩子领回家，这条路非常颠簸、辛苦和挣扎，当然也有很多喜乐和甘甜，凯蒂用她优美细腻的文字记录下这个漫长的收养之旅，感谢我们的志愿者，现在这10万多字的翻译已经初步完成，我们从现在开始逐步在公众号中分享给大家。 

2012年5月8日，星期二

美国人的收养理念

Katie Hurst

上帝真的在挑战我对收养的看法。我一直以为自己在收养这件事上很开放，但是后来我意识到这种想法恰恰显出了我的骄傲自大。我考虑的是我自己，我。我脑子想的都是我，总是我。当然，我用属灵的术语进行了包装，但所思所想都还是关于我自己。为什么我总是考虑自己？为什么不能全身心单单仰望耶稣，常常思想祂呢，这难道不就是谦卑的定义吗——少考虑自己，多思想耶稣。

当我停下来思考上帝想要我们在收养和照料孤儿上有何作为，我的那些理念就被砸碎了，意识到我在拒绝祂，我的心都碎了。我在拒绝上帝呼召我们去照顾的那些人中的最卑微者。为什么中国那些健康的婴孩可以进到一个五年排期等候收养的清单，而破碎的、患病的孩子却任由生死都还是孤儿？这个过程中基督在哪里？

作为美国基督徒，我们持有这种消费理念在我们的收养中，说这话时也包括我自己在内，因为我正看到它清清楚楚地摆在我面前，我期待得到一些回报，我觉得我有权利。

我会痛苦地对你坦白。事实是，我看着那些孤儿和患重病的孩子，一部分的我正把脸转到一边，因为，老天啊，如果我要花掉我可怜的积蓄和奉献去领一个孤儿回家，我肯定不想他死在我这！我为这句话里的自私而心碎。我怎么长久以来一直为孤儿呼号奔走，而没看见自己内心的黑暗？在谈论那些永远不会有家的孤儿的“悲伤”案例时，我是如何跟其他人点头回应的？我怎么没有赶紧去帮助和保护他们，并告诉自己和其他人，不管他们的生命可能如何短暂，他们仍然值得我们的爱？阿爸天父啊，请宽恕我！

这周发生了令人震惊的事情，我听说一个正在要收养一个小女孩的家庭，小女孩跟我们要收养的小男孩情况一样，他们的女儿在他们完成收养前就死了。当我质疑我们的自己的收养时，也会有类似的遭遇。

如果他没有熬到收养完成怎么办？如果我们花光了我们有的每一分钱，在我能把他抱在我怀里并告诉他他被爱着之前，他就死了怎么办？他是不是还值得付出这样的代价？情感代价和经济代价？我知道，这听起来有多可怕。我听到这些问题在我脑海里跑马穿梭，还有这周其他人跟我们说过的话，我能感觉到天父的心碎，就在我考虑这些代价的时候。

事实是我如此不配，我不配被上帝收养，我不配被上帝使用，我不配称祂为我的父。但是他不是去看我多么不配，而是看基督使我变得多么配得。在祂的孩子的弥留之际，即使奄奄一息有时只剩几分钟，祂也会救他们。祂叫着他们的名字，把他们抱在怀里，当他们呼吸最后一口气时，哪怕他们只成为祂的孩子仅仅几分钟。

所以，我细想祂，我思虑祂对孤儿的呼召。我思量祂是多么的配得，祂一直在呼召我们去看护这些孩子们。祂一直在告诉我们去抱这些孩子，不管时间可能是多久。难过的事实是，我可能永远不会把我儿子揽抱怀中，我可能永远不会亲吻他的小脑袋或对他耳语我多么爱他，但是我知道，祂正在低声诉说祂的爱给我的儿子，而上帝的爱绰绰有余。

我所知道的是上帝已告诉我去尝试，所以我会去尝试。为了有可能救一个孩子，我会付出我所有的一切，但更重要的是，我将付出我所有的一切来追随我的天父。所有赞美都归给祂，所有的赞美都归给配得的那位主，所有的赞美都归给拥抱所有不配的并称他们为祂的孩子的那位祂，所有赞美都归给祂。

翻译：郑健

校对：王海滨 卢靖 郑琼

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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

American Ideals in Adoption

God has really been challenging me in my own views of adoption. I always considered myself to be very open in terms of adopting. But then I realize how proud and arrogant that makes me. I considered myself. Me. I was thinking of me, always me. Sure, I couched it in spiritual terms, but the heart was still about me. Why do I consider myself so often? Why don't I instead focus all my energy on Christ and consider Him? Isn't that the very definition of humility? Considering myself less and considering Him more?

When I stop to consider what God wants of us in adoption and orphan care，my ideals are shattered. My heart is broken with the realization that I refuse Him. I refuse the least of these that He calls us to watch over. Why is there a five-year waiting list for healthy young babies in China while the broken ones, the sick ones are left to live and die as orphans? Where is Christ in that?

We as American Christians have this consumer ideal in our adoptions. I include myself in that statement, because I see it staring me in my face. I expect something in return. I feel entitled. 

I'm going to be painfully open with you. The truth is I look at the orphans and the children with significant disease and a part of me turns my face away because dog-gone-it if I am going to spend my little savings and sacrifice to bring an orphan home I sure as heck don't want him dying on me! My heart breaks at the selfishness of that statement. How have I lived so long advocating for the orphan and not see that blackness in my own heart? How have I nodded my head along with others in conversations about those "sad" cases that will never have a home? How have I not rushed to their aid and defense and told myself and others that they are still worthy of our love however short their time may be? Father God, forgive me!

It has hit so close to home this week as I heard of a family adopting a girl with the same condition as our little guy and their daughter died before they were able to complete the adoption. It hit close to home as I questioned our own adoption. What if he doesn't make it? What if we spend every dime we have and he dies before I can hold him in my arms and tell him he was loved? Is he still worth the cost, the emotional cost, the financial cost? I know how awful that sounds. I've listened to those questions run through my mind and been voiced by others this week to us and I have felt my Father's heart breaking as I considered the cost to me.

The truth is I am so unworthy. I am unworthy to be adopted by God. I am unworthy to be used by Him. I am unworthy to call Him my Father. But instead of seeing how unworthy I am He sees how worthy Christ has made me. He saves His children on their death bed when they sometimes have just minutes left. He calls them by name and hold them in His arms while they breathe their final breath even if they have been His child for only a few minutes.

So, I consider Him. I consider His call to the orphans. I consider how worthy He is and He has called us to care for these children. He has told us to hold them for however long that might be. The ugly truth is that I may never hold my son in my arms. I may never kiss his little head or whisper to him how very much I love him. But I know that He is whispering of His love to my son and that my God's love is more than enough.

What I know is that God has told me to try and so I will try. I will give everything I have for the possibility of saving one, but more importantly I will give everything I have to follow my Father. All praise to Him. All praise to the one Who is so worthy. All praise to Him Who holds the unworthy and calls them His own. All praise to Him.

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