"See, I told you so"
"See, I told you so" or some variation of this saying is repeated often in our daily lives. We say it in hindsight to show our prescience or intelligence, or merely to gain a sense of superiority and pride. We are right, we are always right, people just don't get it.
Such thinking, however, is mistaken at best and dangerous at worst. Mistaken because we wrongly assume that the only thing that matters in communication is the quality of ideas as if as long as an idea is genuinely expressed, it should be readily understood and graciously embraced. Hardly ever. Dangerous because by holding onto this line of thought, we have totally forgone the opportunity of exploring possible cognitive pitfalls associated with this statement.
There is, after all, a wide gulf between merely having a point and driving home the point with clarity, persuasion, courtesy, and grace. People tend to overrate ideas. Very often people just have some vague ideas in their head; in other words, they have not themselves thought through the ideas. Even if they did, to be able to articulate thoughts is a distinct skill, which many mistakenly take as a given.
People also lack the patience to explain their ideas clearly and thoroughly ("why bother?" they may lament). They think being willing to share ideas is enough. This is understandable if the question at issue is inconsequential, but when it comes to critical decisions, patience and goodwill are integral to the success of persuasion. This is especially true for legislators, lawyers, board members, and team leaders.
It is true that sometimes the audience shows no patience or interest, but to get people excited about an idea and win respect is itself a skill. This is probably where the definition of leadership comes in. Great leaders know the difference between an idea and the art of persuasion, excelling at communicating ideas clearly, convincingly, tactfully, and empathetically. Phenomenal leaders can change the minds of their superiors and the most stubborn.
We have said "See, I told you so" too much. It is high time that we reevaluated the perils of the seemingly innocent smart talk. Discarding it entirely is good for relationships and the building of strong teams and civil society.
See, I told you so.
孟庆伟 Justin
个人微信 ID：justinqmeng
现象级英语联合创始人
《经济学人》11 年研究者
雅思写作 8 分，口语 8 分
题图：Mark Rothko
插图：The Economist
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