这几天全英国都炸了! 就是因为这部戴安娜王妃的私密录像 (附完整纪录片)
她是永不凋谢的英伦玫瑰，热心公益的慈善天使……
她深受英国人爱戴，被称为“人民的王妃”，而在威廉王子和哈里王子心中，作为母亲的她有着更动人的一面。（回顾戳这里）
围绕她的，还有秘密、流言、八卦，以及无人理解的孤独……
当年20岁的她嫁入皇室，被多少人看作是灰姑娘式的童话，但接下来的岁月却并非童话般美好。
戴安娜王妃，人们从未停止述说有关她的传奇。生前，她饱受八卦和流言困扰。1997年，她在巴黎因车祸香消玉殒，正是因为媒体的穷追不舍。
今年8月31日是戴妃逝世20周年的纪念日。8月6日晚，英国电视四台（Channel 4）播出了一部不同以往的重磅纪录片——《戴安娜：自述》（Diana: In Her Own Words），引发全英轰动。
《卫报》在影评文中将该片称为“多年来最具争议的电视节目”（The most controversial TV programme for years）。
引发争议的原因是，这部纪录片的内容极其私密，是戴妃在1992和1993年与演讲培训师彼得·塞特兰（Peter Settelen）的谈话录像带。
当年，戴妃为提高公共演说能力而接受老师培训，后来却逐渐在课上敞开心扉，聊起了私人话题。
而在这段录像带中，我们能看到一个不带面具的戴安娜，坐在沙发上，放松下来，聊起无人所知的心事……
比如，与查尔斯王子与卡米拉的三角恋、戴妃求助女王却遭无视、菲利普亲王对王子出轨行为的纵容、恋上保镖终无果的痛苦，甚至与查尔斯王子的私密生活……
For many of her supporters, Diana: In Her Own Words is a thing they wish had not been on. The film includes videotapes recorded by the voice coach Peter Settelen in 1992 and 1993 during sessions to improve Diana’s public speaking, but in which she spoke frankly about private matters. They had been shown before in the US, but it was their first airing in the UK.
据《太阳报》报道，英国电视四台声称这是戴妃未经媒体录制的唯一一部影像。该录像的部分内容之前曾在其他国家被使用过，但却是第一次在英国播放。
The recordings took place at Diana's home in Kensington Palace, and Channel 4 claim the footage is the only unmediated video the Princess ever recorded. While some of the footage has been used on TV in other countries, none of it has aired on British TV before.
戳下方观看这部纪录片的完整版，听戴妃娓娓道来华丽贵族外表下，自己内心的焦虑、无助和辛酸↓↓↓
纪录片时间较长，以下是世纪君整理的录像带部分文字及图片内容↓↓↓
"My parents, they never said they loved me."
父母从没说过他们爱我。
"There was no, there was always a kiss there (pointing at her cheek)."
什么都没，他们只会亲亲我的脸颊。
"There was no hugs or anything like that."
从来没有拥抱或其他的表达。
"I knew that something profound was coming my way and I was just treading water waiting for it."
我知道一些影响深远的事会在我身上发生。我小心翼翼地等待它的到来。
"I didn’t know what it was, I didn’t know where it was, I didn’t know if it was coming next year or next month but I knew I was different from my friends in where I was going."
我不知道那会是什么事情，我不知道它在多远的未来，是明年，还是下个月。但我知道我走的路将和我的朋友们不一样。
（戴安娜在查尔斯王子叔叔的葬礼上和查尔斯正式相识。）
"I said you must be so lonely. I said it’s pathetic watching you walk up the aisle at St Paul’s with Lord Mountbatten’s coffin in front. I said, you know, ‘Ghastly, you need someone beside you’. Oh. Wrong word."
我说，你一定很孤独。看见你走在圣保罗教堂的通道上，前面是蒙巴顿勋爵的灵柩，我感觉很悲伤。我说“真糟糕，你需要有人陪着你。”哦，我不该说这样的话。
"Whereupon he leapt upon (me), he started kissing me and everything and I thought, ‘Ahh, you know, this is not what people do,’ and he was all over me for the rest of the evening, followed me around, everything. A puppy. And, yeah, I was flattered, but it was very puzzling."
他突然扑向我，开始吻我。我当时想，“啊，通常人们不会这样吧。”然后他整个晚上都粘着我，我走到哪他跟到哪。像只小狗一样。是的，我受宠若惊，但也很困惑不解。
"He wasn’t consistent with his courting abilities. He’d ring me up every day for a week and then he wouldn’t speak to me for three weeks, very odd."
他追我时忽冷忽热。有时他会一周每天给我打电话，有时一连三周都不理我，很奇怪。
"And I’d accepted that and I thought fine, he knows where I am if he wants me."
不过我也接受了这种方式。我想也挺好，反正他想找我时知道我在哪儿。
"And then the thrill when he used to ring up was so immense and intense, drive the other three girls in my flat crazy. But no, it was all, it was odd."
但是每次他打来电话，我总是一阵激动，我公寓里的其他三个姑娘都很受不了我。不过，这就是全部了，很奇怪。
"I didn’t know whether to get out of the door first. I didn’t know if your handbag should be carried in your left hand, not your right hand. Everything was all over the place. I remember that evening so well. I was terrified. Nearly sick."
“我不知道是否要先走出门。不知道应该用左手拿包，而不是右手。一切都乱七八糟。我对那天晚上记忆犹新。我吓坏了。差点吐出来。”
"Yeah, my family thought it was great, and so did my friends and so did Charles’s family."
我家人觉得这段关系很好，朋友们也这么认为，查尔斯的家人也是。
"They liked me. They were very good to me when I was a guest. It means it changed when I was a daughter-in-law. Positions changed."
他们都喜欢我。当我是客人的时候，他们都对我很好。这也意味着当我成了儿媳以后，就变了。身份不一样了。
"It was as if everybody was monitoring every day for me. And I had to be aware that the whole country was holding its breath."
就好像每个人每天都在监视我。而我则需要知道，全国上下都正屏息等待。
"I was brought up in the sense that you know, when you got engaged to someone, you loved them."
我从小到大接受的观念就是，如果你和一个人订婚，那你一定是爱对方的。
"The most extraordinary thing is we had this ghastly interview the day we announced our engagement and this ridiculous ITN man said, ‘Are you in love?’"
我们宣布订婚那天最离奇的事，就是一个糟糕的采访。有个荒唐的ITN记者问：“你们相爱吗？”
"I thought what a thick question so I said, ‘Yes, of course we are,’ in the sort of Sloane Ranger I was, and Charles turned round and said, ‘Whatever in love means’."
我觉得这是个愚蠢透顶的问题，于是摆着上流社会的架势说：“我们当然相爱。”之后，查尔斯转过身说了句“随你怎么定义‘相爱”。
"That threw me completely. I thought what a strange question and answer. God. Absolutely traumatised me."
我当时完全惊呆了。多奇怪的问题和回答。天啊。真是给我留下了心理创伤。
"No, I didn’t dare (ask him about it). Must have been, yeah (frightened). We met 13 times before we got married (laughs)."
我没敢问他是什么意思。对，大概是吓坏了。毕竟我们结婚前只见过13次面（笑）。
图中为卡米拉
"I remember saying to my husband, you know, ‘Why, why is this lady around?’ and he said, ‘Well I refuse to be the only Prince of Wales who never had a mistress.’"
我记得我问过我丈夫，“为什么？为什么这位女士（指卡米拉）会出现？”他说：“我拒绝做唯一一个没有情妇的的威尔士亲王。”
"My father-in-law said to my husband, ‘Uh, if your marriage doesn’t work out you can always go back to her after five years’, which is exactly, I mean for real I know that it happened after five, I knew something was happening before that."
我公公（菲利普亲王）对我丈夫说：“呃，如果这段婚姻维持不下去，你五年后还能回到她（卡米拉）身边。”真是太准了，这事五年后真的就发生了，在那之前我就有预感。
戴妃过世后，卡米拉成为了查尔斯王子的第二任妻子
"Well, there was. There was. There was. But it was odd, very odd."
嗯，我们之间有过（性生活），有过。但很奇怪，非常奇怪。
"But it was there then it fizzled out about seven years ago, six years ago, well seven, because Harry was eight."
本来有过的，不过大约七年前就没了。六年前，不对，应该是七年前。因为那年哈里也有八岁了。
"Instinct told me, it was just so odd. I don’t know there was no requirement for it from his case. Sort of once every three weeks and I kept thinking."
直觉告诉我，这太奇怪了。我不知道是不是他没有这方面的需求。基本上每三周一次。我一直在想怎么回事。
"And then I followed a pattern, he used to see his lady once every three weeks before we got married."
然后我找到了一个规律，那就是在我们结婚前，他每隔三周都会见一次他的情人。
"And I’m sobbing and I said, ‘I’m coming to you. What do I do?’"
我哭着对她说，“我是来向您求助的。我该怎么办？
"And she said, ‘I don’t know what you should do, Charles is hopeless’. And that was it. That was help."
她说：“我不知道你该怎么办。查尔斯已经无可救药了。”就这样，这就是她的帮助了。
"So I didn’t go back to her again for help, because I don’t go back again if I don’t get it the first time."
我没有再求过她，因为如果我第一次失败了，我也就不会再问她第二次。
"And so over the years, ‘Diana never talks. I never know what’s going on’."
所以这么多年来，她都说：“戴安娜从来不说。我也从来不知道发生了什么。”
"The public side was very different obviously from the private side. The public side, they wanted a fairy princess. Touch them and everything will turn into gold, and all their worries would be forgotten. Little did they realize that the individual was crucifying herself inside because she didn't think she was good enough."
在公众视野里当然跟在私下完全不同。对公众来说，他们希望一个童话故事中的公主。能够点石成金，让他们忘记悲伤。然而他们却不会知道，这个人将自己钉在了十字架上。因为她觉得自己并没有那么好。
"There’s just nobody to physically scream at. Or someone to put their arms around me — just listen when I cry."
没有任何人能让我尖叫着发泄，或者搂着我安慰我。在我哭泣时，他们只会袖手旁观。
"I can’t bear people saying it can’t be as bad as that, or we understand — nobody understands unless you’re the individual concerned."
我不能忍受别人说：“没有糟糕到那个程度”或者“我们明白”——除非他们自己亲
身经历，不然没人能够真正理解。
"When it comes to a drama I can only sort myself, but I can’t get anybody else to sort me out."
真要出现了戏剧性的场面时，我只能自己解决，却没法让任何人帮我。
"They all blamed the failure of the marriage on the bulimia."
人们都把这段婚姻的失败归咎于我得了暴食症。
"Said I was rejected, I didn’t think I was good enough for the family so I took it out on myself."
我被排斥了，我觉得我配不上这个家庭，所以我把这一切都发泄到自己身上。
"I could’ve gone to alcohol. I could’ve been anorexic which should be even more obvious. I decided to do the more discreet thing which would not disgrace the royal family yet ultimately wasn’t discreet. But I chose to hurt myself instead of hurting all of you."
我本可以借酒消愁。或者厌食，看上去甚至更明显些。但我选择去做一些更谨慎而不至于让王室蒙羞的事，虽然最终看来这也不是个谨慎的决定。但我选择了伤害自己，而不是伤害你们所有人。
"The odd thing was when I was bulimic I wasn’t angry because the anger, I thought, was coming out that way."
奇怪的是，当我暴饮暴食时，我就不生气了。因为那些愤怒都已经通过这种方式发泄出去了。
戴安娜和保镖巴里· 曼纳基（Barry Mannakee），后者1987年死于车祸
"I’ll tell you one of the biggest crushes of my life, which I don’t find easy to discuss."
我跟你说说我这一生爱得最深的一次吧，聊这些可不容易。
"When I was 24 or 25 I fell deeply in love with someone who worked in this
environment. And he was the greatest friend I ever had."
我二十四五岁的时候，深深爱上了一个在这个环境里工作的人。他是我有过的最好的朋友。
"I was always wandering around trying to see him. I just, you know, wore my heart on my sleeve and was only happy when he was around and the rest of it."
我总是到处找他，只想见他一面。我的爱意表现得太明显了，只有当他在身边的时候，我才感到快乐。
"Yeah, I supposed you could say I did, yes (see him as father figure). I’m sure I did. I was like a little girl in front of him the whole time."
是的，你也可以说，我把他当做父亲一样的存在了。我确实是的。在他面前，我一直都像一个小女孩。
"I mean I was quite happy to give all of this up. At the moment, at the time it was quite something to have all this, just to go off and live with him. Can you believe it? He kept saying he thought it was a good idea too."
我真的会很开心的放弃所有这一切。在那时候，在当时那是我最大的憧憬，希望能就这样一走了之，跟他生活在一起。你能相信吗？他也总说，这个主意不错。
"It got so difficult. People got so jealous and bitchy in this house and eventually he had to go. It was all found out and he was chucked out."
然后事情变得很艰难。皇室的人开始嫉恨、恶毒，最终他不得不离开。秘密被发现了，他被辞退了。
"Charles said to me, ‘He was killed in a motorbike accident’ and that was the biggest blow of my life I must say. It was a killer."
查尔斯跟我说：“他在一场摩托车车祸中死了。”这是我一生遭受的最大打击。致命的打击。
"I just sat there all day going through this huge high-profile visit to Cannes, just devastated."
当时我们在戛纳进行大型访问，我就一整天坐在那儿，心如死灰。
"I think he was bumped off. But, there we are. We’ll never know."
我想他是被人干掉的。但是，我们永远不会知道。
"I used to have really disturbing dreams about him. And he was very unhappy wherever he’s gone to, and so I went and found out where he was buried and I went to put some flowers on his grave."
我一直都做着关于他的噩梦，梦里无论他在哪儿都很不快乐。所以我就想办法找到了他被埋葬的地方，在他的坟前献上一束花。
"And the day I did that (laid flowers) the day the dreams stopped. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s like a sort of recognition."
那天起，我就不再做这些噩梦了。很奇怪，是吗？就像是和他又相认了。
"I should never have played with fire and I did. I got very burned."
我不应该玩火，但我还是没能控制住自己，现在我伤痕累累。
"I know one day, if I play the game of life, I will be able to have those things which I've always pined for, and they'll be that much more special because I'll be that much more older, and be able to appreciate them that much more."
我知道有一天，如果我继续这场生活的游戏，我会得到那些我一直渴望的事物，而那些东西将变得更为特别，因为那时我也比现在老很多了，更会懂得珍惜。
戴安娜独自坐在象征爱情的泰姬陵前
可惜，斯人已逝，我们再也无法看到戴妃实现心中希冀的那一天。
而这段私密的录像公开播出以后，在英国引发了轩然大波。
皇室的反应自然尤为激烈……
英国王室现主要成员
《镜报》网站：戴安娜王妃录像带将会伤害儿子威廉和哈里：电视四台纪录片引王室震怒
王室传记作家彭妮•朱诺（Penny Junor）也对电视四台进行了谴责:
“这就像在高速公路上围观连环相撞事件，猎奇血淋淋的细节”
（stopping to look at a motorway pile-up to look at the gory details）
“这只是消费戴安娜的另一种方式，并不是查尔斯王子希望看到的，自然也不是她的儿子们希望发生的。这个影片将会深深伤害他们。”
This is just another way of exploiting Diana. It’s not what Charles would want and it’s clearly not what the boys would want. It will be deeply hurtful to them.
彭妮•朱诺曾为哈里王子和威廉王子撰写传记
戴安娜王妃的传记作家英格丽•苏沃德（Ingrid Seward）也持反对意见：
“王子们现在一定感觉自己正被消费，并再一次对媒体感到愤怒，而这也将会对我们所有人都产生糟糕的影响。”
The boys now must feel very exploited and very angry once again with the media and it reflects badly on all of us.
除了皇室相关人士，一些媒体也以昔日围观八卦的角度评判这部影像资料，表示一点儿都不新奇。
《每日电讯报》网站：《戴安娜：自述》是一部毫无意义的影片，没有告诉我们任何新鲜事
制作这部纪录片的英国电视四台却表示，公开视频是让戴妃有了自己的话语权：
“在这个国家怀念戴妃的生与死的时刻，这段对她特殊的记录让她有了自己的话语权，并将其公开于聚光灯下。”
This unique portrait of Diana gives her a voice and places it front and centre at a time when the nation will be reflecting on her life and death.
拉夫•李（Ralph Lee），电视四台的首席创意副总监（Channel 4’s Deputy Chief Creative Officer）说：
“没人能忘记戴安娜曾说过的这句话：‘我们的婚姻中有三个人’。”
NONE of us will forget the moment on Panorama when Diana said: “There were three of us in this marriage.”
“这确实不是什么爆炸新闻。卡米拉也早就不是秘密。然而她能公开透露这件事，这是极为关键的。”
It wasn’t that it was breaking news, Camilla was hardly a secret, but the fact she said it in public was hugely significant.
“公开录像带的决定虽然饱受争议，但也是非常重要的历史记录。”
The decision to show the tapes has proved controversial but they are an important part of the historical record.
拉夫•李（Ralph Lee）
戴安娜的前私人秘书帕特里克•杰弗森（Patrick Jephson）也认为：
“他们给大家展现了一个考虑周全、生动有趣的王妃，她用自己的声音讲述了自己的故事，这很迷人。”
Bewitchingly, they reveal a thoughtful and often funny Princess finding her voice as the teller of her own story.
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