合辑 | Speak English Like An American (01-25)
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TED | 美女口吃歌手演讲：Why I live in mortal dread of public speaking
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I didn't know when I agreed to do this whether I was expected to talk or to sing. But when I was told that the topic was language, I felt that I had to speak about something for a moment.
当我答应来到这个舞台时我不知道他们是想让我演讲还是演唱。但是当他们告诉我今天的主题是关于语言时，我觉得必须说点什么。
I have a problem. It's not the worst thing in the world. I'm fine. I'm not on fire. I know that other people in the world have far worse things to deal with, but for me, language and music are inextricably linked through this one thing.
我有一个小毛病。但这不是世界上最糟糕的事情。我很好。我没有身陷火海。我知道世界上的其他人还有更糟糕的事情要去应付，但是对我来说，语言和音乐通过这件事变得密不可分。
And the thing is that I have a stutter. It might seem curious given that I spend a lot of my life on the stage. One would assume that I'm comfortable in the public sphere and comfortable here, speaking to you guys. But the truth is that I've spent my life up until this point and including this point, living inmortal dread of public speaking. Public singing, whole different thing. But we'll get to that in a moment. I've never really talked about it before soexplicitly. I think that that's because I've always lived in hope that when Iwas a grown-up, I wouldn't have one. I sort of lived with this idea that when I'm grown, I'll have learned to speak French, and when I'm grown, I'll learn how to manage my money, and when I'm grown, I won't have a stutter, and then I'll be able to public speak and maybe be the prime minister and anything's possible and, you know. So I can talk about it now because I've reached this point, where — I mean, I'm 28. I'm pretty sure that I'm grown now. And I'm an adult woman who spends her life as a performer, with a speech impediment. So, I mightas well come clean about it.
这件事就是我有口吃。考虑到我生命中的许多时光都花在了舞台上，口吃这件事似乎有点奇怪。有人可能会认为呆在公共空间会使我感到很舒适，在这里与你们谈话会使我感觉很自在。但事实是，在我的生命中直到此刻，甚至包括此刻，我都一直生活在对公共演讲的致命恐惧中。但公开演唱，又完全是另外一回事。但是我们很快就会进入那种状态。以前我从来没有真正这么坦率地谈论我的口吃问题。我觉得那是因为我一直生活在那种当我长大了就不会再口吃了的希望中。我曾经梦想过，当我长大了我会学会法语；当我长大了，我会学会管理我的钱财；以及当我长大了，我不会再有口吃，然后我能公开地演讲，也可能成为总理，并且一切皆有可能，你知道的。因此我现在能够谈论它是因为我已经到了这个阶段—— 我的意思是，我28岁了。我非常肯定我已经长大了。我现在一个成年女性，一个有言语障碍的歌手。所以，我应该最好将它全盘托出。
There are some interesting angles to having a stutter. For me, the worst thing that can happen is meeting another stutterer. This happened to me in Hamburg, when this guy, we met and he said, "Hello, m-m-m-my name is Joe," and I said, "Oh, hello, m-m-m-my name is Meg." Imagine my horror when I realized he thought I was making fun of him.
其实可以从几个有趣的角度去看待口吃。对我来说，最糟糕的事就是碰见另一个口吃者。这种事情在汉堡发生过，当我见到那个人后他说：“你好，我……我……我……叫Joe，” 然后我说:"你好，我……我……我叫Meg。“ 想像一下当我意识到他认为我在取笑他时我是多么恐惧。
People think I'm drunk all the time.
人们总是以为我喝醉了。
People think that I've forgotten their name when I hesitate before saying it. And it is a very weird thing, because proper nouns are the worst. If I'm going to use the word "Wednesday" in a sentence, and I'm coming up to the word, and I can feel that I'm going to stutter or something, I can change the word to"tomorrow," or "the day after Tuesday," or something else. It's clunky, but you can get away with it, because over time I've developed this loophole method of using speech where right at the last minute you change the thing and you trick your brain. But with people's names, you can't change them. When I was singing a lot of jazz, I worked a lot with a pianist whose name was Steve. As you can probably gather, S's and T's, together or independently, are my kryptonite. But I would have to introduce the band over this rolling vamp, and when I got around to Steve, I'd often find myself stuckon the "St." And it was a bit awkward and uncomfortable and ittotally kills the vibe. So after a few instances of this, Steve happily became"Seve," and we got through it that way.
当我在说出别人的名字之前犹豫一下时，他们会认为我想不起来他们的名字了。这是一件非常奇怪的事，因为专有名词对我来说是最难的。如果我打算在一个句子中使用“星期三”这个词，然后当我即将说到这个词时，我预料到我将会结巴或者别的情况，我可以将“星期三”替换成“明天”，或者“星期二之后的一天”或其它诸如此类的。这是一个笨拙的办法，但是却可以帮我摆脱口吃，因为随着时间的推移，我已经进化出了那种在最后关头找到替换词语并且骗过大脑的能力。但是对于人名，你不可能找到替换词。当我唱爵士乐的时候我经常跟一个叫Steve的钢琴师一起工作。正如你们可能注意到的那样， S和T的发音，不管是分开的还是连在一起的，都是我的克星。但是在摇滚演奏的过程中我不得不介绍乐队成员，当介绍到Steve时，我经常发现自己卡在了"St"的发音上。这会使我很尴尬很难受，并且气氛也被完全破坏掉了。因此经过几次这样的事之后， Steve愉快地变成了“Seve，”我们用这种方式解决了问题。
I've had a lot of therapy, and a common form of treatment is to use this technique that's called smooth speech, which is where you almost sing everything that you say. You kind of join everything together in this very singsong, kindergarten teacher way, and it makes you sound very serene, like you've had lots of Valium, and everything is calm. That's not actually me. And I do use that. Ido. I use it when I have to be on panel shows, or when I have to do radio interviews, when the economy of airtime is paramount. I get through it that way for my job. But as an artist who feels that their work is based solely on aplatform of honesty and being real, that feels often like cheating.
我接受过很多治疗，最常见的是一种叫做流畅说话的疗法，即用几乎像唱歌一样的调子去说话。你相当于要将所有的事情与这种单调的、幼儿园老师使用的方法结合，然后它会使你的声音听起来很平静，就像吃了很多安定片一样，一切听起来都是冰冷的。那不是真实的我。但我得这样做。我得。当我不得不参加电视讨论节目时我会使用这种方法，或者当我不得不参加电台访谈时，当说话时间的经济性至关重要时。我用这种方法搞定工作。但是作为一个觉得自己的工作是完全基于诚实和真实的平台上的艺术家，那种方法经常感觉像是欺骗。
Which is why before I sing, I wanted to tell you what singing means to me. It's more than making nice sounds, and it's more than making nice songs. It's more than feeling known, or understood. It's more than making you feel the things that I feel. It's not about mythology, or mythologizing myself to you. Somehow, through some miraculous synaptic function of the human brain, it's impossible to stutter when you sing. And when I was younger, that was a method of treatment that worked very well for me, singing, so I did it a lot. And that's why I'm here today.
这就是为什么在我演唱之前，我想要告诉你们歌唱对我来说意味着什么。它不仅仅是发出动听的声音，也不仅仅是唱出好听的歌。它不仅仅是感受已知，或理解。它不仅仅是使你感受到我的感受。它不是神话，或者把我自己当作神话。不知为何，通过一些奇迹般的人类大脑的突触功能，当你歌唱的时候不可能口吃。在我小时候，有种治疗方法就对我很管用，那就是唱歌，所以我经常唱。这也是我今天在这里的原因。
Thankyou.
谢谢。
Singing for me is sweet relief. It is the only time when I feel fluent. It is the only time when what comes out of my mouth is comprehensively exactly what Iintended. So I know that this is a TED Talk, but now i'm going to TED sing.This is a song that I wrote last year.
歌唱对我来说一种甜蜜的释放。那是我唯一能够流利表达的时候。那是唯一的从我嘴里出来的东西是完完全全我想要说的东西的时候。我知道这是TED演讲，但是我将要进行TED演唱。这是我去年写的一首歌。
Thankyou very much. Thank you.
非常感你们。谢谢。
♪I would be a beauty ♪
♪我想成为美人♪
♪but my nose ♪
♪但是我的鼻子♪
♪is slightly too big ♪
♪对我的脸来说♪
♪for my face ♪
♪稍微有点大♪
♪And I would be a dreamer ♪
♪我想成为梦想家♪
♪but my dream ♪
♪但是我的梦想♪
♪is slightly too big ♪
♪对这个空间来说♪
♪for this space ♪
♪稍微有点大♪
♪And I would be an angel ♪
♪我想成为天使♪
♪but my halo ♪
♪但是我的光环♪
♪it pales in the glow ♪
♪在你的光芒下♪
♪of your grace ♪
♪显得有点苍白♪
♪And I would be a joker ♪
♪我想成为王牌♪
♪but that card looks silly when you play ♪
♪但是当你出A时♪
♪your ace ♪
♪这张牌会看起来有点傻♪
♪I'd like to know ♪
♪我想要知道♪
♪Are there stars in hell? ♪
♪地狱里是否有星星？♪
♪And I'd like to know ♪
♪我还想知道♪
♪know if you can tell ♪
♪知道你是否可以告诉我♪
♪that you make me lose everything I know ♪
♪你使我失去了一切我知道♪
♪That I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
♪我无法选择或者放手♪
♪And I'd stay forever ♪
♪我想永远留下来♪
♪but my home ♪
♪但是我的家♪
♪is slightly too far ♪
♪离这里♪
♪from this place ♪
♪有点远♪
♪And I swear I tried to ♪
♪我发誓当我♪
♪slow it down ♪
♪踏着你的脚印前行时♪
♪when I am walking at your pace ♪
♪我试过放慢脚步♪
♪But all I could think ♪
♪但所有我能想到的是♪
♪idling through the cities ♪
♪在城市中闲逛♪
♪do I look pretty in the rain? ♪
♪我在雨中看起来漂亮吗？♪
♪And I don't know how someone ♪
♪我不知道怎会有人♪
♪quite so lovely ♪
♪如此可爱♪
♪makes me feel ugly ♪
♪使我感到丑陋♪
♪So much shame ♪
♪多么地羞愧♪
♪And I'd like to know ♪
♪我也想知道♪
♪Are there stars in hell? ♪
♪地狱里是否有星星？♪
♪And I'd like to know ♪
♪我还想知道♪
♪know if you can tell ♪
♪知道你是否可以告诉我♪
♪that you make me lose everything I know ♪
♪你使我失去了一切我知道♪
♪that I cannot choose to or not let go ♪
♪我无法选择或者放手♪
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