十一月小结：Hang in there!
#开启英文阅读
As an English major student, I feel embarrassed to admit that I had never finished a single English book until last month. English reading has always been a big problem and challenge for me. After taking advice from a friend who has a good habit of reading, I decided to give it another try last month, and fortunately I managed to finish one book at the beginning this month. It’s about some short stories for foreigners to understand Chinese culture which is good for me to start with something I am already familiar with. Also the short stories are easy for me to start and stop at any time, no pressure. After that, I was introduced to another book called “ Think Lke a Monk” by Jay Shetty who was hugely influenced by the Buddhism, and share all the things he learned especially how to practice in everyday life. I found his language is very enjoyable, the content is worth thinking and reflecting. Many things i learned before from yoga, Buddhism, mindfulness, and so on are now written in English, which for me is a pleasure to learn again in a second language. So i enjoyed a lot.
#保持学习
Apart from reading, I also started listening input on a daily basis. I usually listen to English podcast when I wake up and during the time i get ready for the day. I also watch videos without Chinese subtitles during lunch time or before bed for my immersion language learning. As an English teacher and an English lover, I definitely should always keep learning, even though I can’t see any improvement of my English level, and it actually becomes more broken because I have to use broken English with my low-level students. Still, We should always “Stay hungry, stay foolish.”
#我的情绪日记
I started my mood journal since April this year. Even though I failed to keep my diary on a daily basis, it’s still good for me to look back when there is a record of your thoughts and feelings. I hit the bottom again this month, I even resisted to go to school on a Monday morning, much likely to run away. I always cared about people’s recognition and confirmation, but I failed on that in the field where I am good at. When I feel depressed, I thought why wouldn’t I just leave everything that makes me unhappy and upset, I knew I always have options, and that’s exactly what I used to do. But deep down in my heart, I feel it’s not the end yet, I can stay and see what’s going on, instead of just leaving problems behind. Then I will probably have to face the same problem again someday. After I calmed down, I tried to find solutions. So I focus on improving my teaching skills, such as adopting some new teaching methods. On the other hand, I worked hard on adjusting my mood state. so I started my mood journal again.
I told myself to try my best to see the bright side instead of always focusing on the miserable part. I used to complain about my classes and my students a lot, I always ended up feeling upset, frustrated after class, then it influenced the rest of my day. One day, I realized class only takes me about 3 hours a day, I should not let the other 21 hours ruined because of these three hours. Instead I should make full use of the other time. I should not only focus on one tiny stain on a whole white paper.
#记录小确幸
So I tried different things on my journal. Sometimes, I write down five things worth to remember for today. Sometimes, I would write down my negative emotions to process or vent. Sometimes, it’s a series of why questions, trying to trace down to the source of where all the negative emotions come from. Sometimes, I write down several sentences start with “it’s nice to...” then I would collect many petty but cute things happened for that day.Almost everyday I will write down a few short sentences to keep a record.And when I looked back, I was surprised that all that small things combined brought me warmth and joy.
#如何度过你的一天
Besides this, I have another notebook for daily schedule, since I only need work for about 4 to 5 hours a day. I was left plenty of time to do my own work. I wasted tons of time before without knowing how did I spend it at all. After I wrote down all my duty time, I can clearly see how much free time I have for everyday. So that I will have a better idea about how to spend all that time. Filled with my interests. I also put some small reminder on the top of the page. Just some small things I picked up from videos or books, which impressed me and I want to remind myself of that. For example, I wrote down “don’t take it personally” from a Ted talk, stuff like that.
#坚持住！
These days, I always feel so content, happy, peaceful on the way back home. Even though I am still struggling with my classes. I can’t say today is a bad day. I am always happy at the end of the day. And then I can recharge or relax in the evening to get energy for the next day. Day by day, I still hang in there.
#阳朔湿冷的冬天来了
I had been worrying about the wet cold winter even before I came here and also during those sunny warm days. I was living in a “ what if” instead of “what is” those days. I am the kind of person who enjoy outdoors and sunshine a lot, but now I live in a place where it’s cloudy, rainy, wet as hell. I was wondering how can people survived here in such miserable weather. Our mood is easily get effected by the weather, not to mention a continuously bad weather days. The wet cold days finally came for real, but I am very surprised that I am quite ok with it now. I feel very refreshed when I walk on the street after rain stops. I feel delighted after a hot bath, a bowl of soup noodles, warm-up exercise. So I am dealing with it right now, and let’s see when it gets really cold.
#还有一个想要分享的小故事
One more story to share, I went out on a study date with someone. We ended up in a small cafe unplanned where there are a couple who is the owner and with their daughter. When we sat down and started to study. The couple lowed down their voice when they talked to each other, I feel very grateful that they respected our quietness. To my surprise, the mom started reading and writing as well with her daughter, what a harmonious picture that everyone was quiet with studying or reading. So I indeed enjoy my afternoon there that day.
All in all, as I said before, even though I am facing a lot of challenges, experiencing discomfort, there are tough times for me which can really get me upset and frustrated, it’s not the end yet. Let’s wait and see what’s going on in the coming days.
Thank you so much if you managed to make it here, the reason why I was writing in English is because I store all this stories and thoughts and idea in my English brain, I need to do translation work if I have to out put in Chinese, I tried first actually, but then I failed to express myself well. So apologizes for the inconvenience to some of you guys. Thanks for your care and support all the time, let’s look forward to the last month of this year. Hope you will all enjoy it! Lots of love.
感谢你们阅读到这里，我之所以用英文写了这篇文章，是因为这些故事和想法是直接以英语储存在我大脑里的，就像我在文章《关于英语学习，认真看完这一篇就够了》中提到的那样“双语者就好像是大脑有两部分储存系统，当你听到英语的时候，你只在英语系统里面运作，接收、选择、输出信息，没有翻译转换的过程，所有的信息都是以英语语言储存。”为了不做翻译工作，我选择用英文直接输入。事实上，我先尝试了用中文写，但我没有办法流利地去表达自己。因此，非常抱歉，如果给你们带来了不便。感谢大家一直以来的关注和支持。让我们一起期待 2022 的最后一个月吧！
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