《诗殿堂》诗论001期
《诗殿堂》诗论001期
说说俳句
作者-徐英才 简介
徐英才，原复旦英语教师，现美国德宝大学汉学老师，华语诗学会会长，汉英双语纸质诗刊《诗殿堂》总编，有多部译著出版，其中汉英译著《英译唐宋八大家散文精选》和《英译中国经典散文选》曾由中国赠送美国林肯中学。
Xu Yingcai, a former Fudan English teacher, now a teacher of Chinese Studies in DePaul University, President of Chinese Poetry Association, and Editor-in-Chief for Poetry Hall – A Chinese and English bilingual journal, has multiple translation books published. His translations Selected Translation of Eight Tang & Song Prose Masters and Selected Translation of Chinese Prose Classics were once the gifts Chinese government gave to Lincoln High School USA.
说说俳句
从日俳说到英俳，再说汉俳
文 / 徐英才
一、日语俳句
俳句最初虽然可能源自中国的古诗词，但它产生与定型于日本，并从那里传到世界各地。
日本俳句究竟长什么样？有人说，它全长17个音，分三行，分别是5-7-5（第一行5个音，第二行7个音，第三行5个音）。这种说法没错，但是，日俳的 17音并不等于其他语言的17音，因为日语计音方法比之英语和汉语还要细腻。17个音的日俳，大体相当于英语或汉语的12个音左右。比如就拿haiku这个单词来举例吧。Haiku，在英语里算两音节：hai-ku；在汉语里也算两个音节：hai-ku；而在日语里，它是三个音：ha-i-ku。再拿日本首都名 Tokyo这个词来说吧，它在英语里是两个音：To-kyo；在汉语里也是两个音：To-kyo；但在日语里却算作四个音：Toe-oh-kyo-oh。难怪全美俳句创作月打出的旗号是一个5-7-5的停车符号，旨在敦促俳句诗人明白，俳句并不就是17个音5-7-5形式。
除此之外，日本俳句并不要求押韵，或者说根本就不押韵，更无需说平仄。日俳为何不讲究押韵呢？这跟它的追求有关。除5-7-5外，传统日俳追求三个要素：季语，切字，客观写生（为节省篇幅，这里就不详述了）。现代日本俳句，或者说世界俳句，已不再拘泥於这传统的三大要素，转而追求俳句的灵气。何为俳句的灵气？那就是瞬间感触。俳句追求的，是时空中某一极短的感动了诗人的瞬间，
诗人用最短小的形式把它记录下来。东西短小，一旦有了灵气，就会精致玲珑，让人爱不释手。如果短而小，却缺乏灵气，那就不会可爱。程式一旦再老套固定化，短短三行里还要韵律不断，那就很有可能是一首在节奏上千篇一律的老调重弹。如果再缺乏点新意，就只能是顺口溜了。
二、英语俳句
现代英语俳句，真正地抓到了日俳的精髓。它最忌讳17音，5-7-5，押韵的固定模式，因为用17音来写英俳，会使英语行文拖沓；押韵，会破坏俳句的清新感；固定模式再加押韵，会使所有俳句都陷入同一种节奏。现代英俳也以凸显灵气为首要任务。为了达到这个效果，英俳写作课程，首先强调学生学会使用短语和独立成分来写诗，而不用完整的句式。俳句在意象和意念上必须要有跳跃，要有想象空间。比如下面这首荣获2014年英俳博物馆大奖赛的俳句：
air show . . .
the ice cream girls
compare nail polish
Anne L.B. Davidson, Saco, Maine, Frogpond
航空表演 ......
卖冰淇淋的少女
比看指甲油
(2014 英语俳句博物馆获奖作品)
全诗三行，11个音节，不押韵，第一行诗用独立成分写出，最后一行在意象和意念上有个跳跃，给人以突然感。正因为这个突然感，整首小诗就跃然纸上，神采奕奕。
下面这首是爱尔兰的诗人Michael Facherty的著名俳句:
in the woodpile
the broken ax handle
柴堆里
一把脱落的斧柄
俳句协会对它的解说是：
“爱尔兰诗人Michael Facherty选择用两行来写这首诗，第一行给出背景，暗示季节（将要用柴火取暖的季节—译者注）。该诗遣词质朴，旨在造型，没有任何表示判断的文字，没有为了音节而凑字，也没有强迫读者如何思考。形象生动，留白处有一个带有讽刺意味的转折（虽然讽刺只是当代俳句众多技巧之一）。”
三、汉语俳句
中国俳句（姑且使用这个名称，其实不是俳句）走了一条与日俳和英俳截然不同的道路。汉俳不仅追求17个音节，也即17个汉字（比日本俳句多了几个），5-7-5形式，还要求平仄与押韵。这使我们的俳句节奏单调、千篇一律，拖泥带水、老气横秋。如果在意象和意念上再无新意，不能激发想象，真的是毫无灵气可言。
中国俳句之所以走上这条与众不同的道路，在很大程度上是因为早期的俳句诗人都具有深厚的中国古诗词功底，他们写出的俳句深受中国传统诗歌的影响。下面这段来自百度的文字，很能说明问题。
“1980年5月30日，(在接待日本俳人协会访华团时)， 赵朴初老先生诗兴勃发，参考日本俳句十七音，依照中国诗词传统的创作声法、韵法、律法等特点，即席赋诗一首，共三章（即三首组诗）。”下面是其最后一首：
绿荫今雨来
山花枝接海花开
和风起汉俳
于是，汉俳创作者，就以赵朴老这首诗最后一句为准，将中国诗人创作的俳句体定名为汉俳，并效仿了他的格式。而当时日本客人究竟是因为出于礼貌，还是因为语言不通没有发现问题，致使错误的汉俳形式流传至今就不得而知了。但是，这个错误，最终还是于2012年被瞈望 (Shingo) 指了出来，他直接了当地说，中国俳句不是俳句。
四、结语
不过，可喜的是，当代汉语俳句已经开始出现不受限于17音，5-7-5形式、免押韵，免平仄，重意象与突发感的灵性短诗。
俳句体积小，非常适合反映在时空中获得的瞬间感触，这就是为什么它会出现并流传到世界各地的原因。俳句体积小，但容量要大，因为如果十来个字仅表达十来个字的表层含义，那这诗就没什么可读性了。这个容量来自于文字的张力，来自于不言中，来自于意象或意念的突然跳跃。有了跳跃，就能给读者留出想象空间。为了激发读者的想象，俳句诗人又常常极力避免对诗进行评论性的描写，因为一旦评论，你就代替了读者去思考，你就为读者指出了应该怎样去思考。总而言之，俳句体积虽小，但意象要丰，内涵要大，要神采奕奕。
希望中国的俳句爱好者能够不懈努力，融入世界，写成符合世界俳句共性的适合中国俳句个性的真正俳句。
About Haiku
Haiku in Japanese, English, and Chinese
Text / Xu Yingcai
I. Japanese Haiku
Although at the very beginning, the haiku could originate from classical Chinese poetry, it emerged from Japan and was shaped in Japan, and then from there spread to the world.
What does Japanese Haiku look like? It is said that it consists of 17 sounds broken down into three lines in the format of 5-7-5 (5 sounds for the first line, 7 for the second, and 5 the last). Although nothing is wrong with this assertion, the 17 sounds in Japanese Haiku does not necessarily equal 17 sounds in other languages. This is because Japanese tends to break down its sound elements into smaller parts than English or Chinese does. 17 sounds in Japanese Haiku approximates 12 syllables in English or Chinese. Take the word “haiku” for example: The word “haiku” is considered two syllables in English: hai-ku, also two in Chinese: hai-ku, but in Japanese, it is three: ha-i-ku. Take the name of Japanese capital “Tokyo” for another example. It is considered two syllables in English: To-kyo, and two in Chinese: To-kyo, but 4 in Japanese: Toe-kyo-oh. No wonder the logo used for the American National Haiku Writing Month was a 5-7-5 stop-sign. This logo was designed to advocate that the haiku is not necessarily 17 syllables broken down into the format of 5-7-5 when converted into another language.
Apart from this misunderstanding, Japanese Haiku does not require rhyming, or put it in a different way, no rhyming at all, and of course, no requirement for the level-and-oblique tone alternatives. Why so? This has something to do with what it seeks. In addition to the 5-7-5 format, traditional Japanese Haiku sought the fulfilment of three elements: Kigo, kireji, and subjectivity (To save space, I will not elaborate on these topics here). Modern Japanese Haiku or the world haiku, however, no longer seeks these three elements as its core. They instead emphasize the achievement of the spirit of the poem. What is the spirit of the haiku then? It is a touching moment, the moment in time and space that has moved the poet, and the poet uses the most economic form to write it down. When anything is petite, once it possesses spirit, it will be exquisitely vibrant and vital, and hence adorable. If anything is short and small but lacks spirit, it can hardly be cute. If such a poem is inlaid in a stereotyped format, along with rhyming within the size of a poem as short as three lines, it is likely, in rhythm, a “harp on the old tune.” If such an impotence is short of new sense, then it could be nothing but a jingle or a doggerel.
II. English Haiku
Modern English Haiku has truly grasped the essence of Japanese Haiku. The biggest taboo in writing English Haiku is the stereotype format of 17, 5-7-5, and rhyming. This is because using 17 syllables to write haikus in English would retard the English rhythm; rhyming would damage the freshness of the poem, and the stereotype format plus rhyming would synchronize all English haikus into one tune. Modern English Haiku also takes as its prime role the emphasis of spirit. To help students achieve this goal, the first thing an English haiku class emphasizes is to train students to use phrases and independent elements, instead of complete sentences, to write the poems. English Haiku must have a sense of surprise in both imagery and meaning to give readers enough imagination. The following 2014 Haiku Museum Winning poem is a good example to illustrate this.
air show . . .
the ice cream girls
compare nail polish
Anne L.B. Davidson, Saco, Maine, Frogpond
航空表演
卖冰淇淋的少女
比看指甲油
(2014 英语俳句博物馆获奖作品)
The entire poem consists of 11 syllables with no rhyming. The first line beings with an independent phrase, and the last line, in image and sense, is a leap from the previous two, forming a surprise. It is this surprise that brings the little poem alive and vibrant on paper.
Below is a haiku written by an Ireland poet Michael Facherty:
in the woodpile
the broken ax handle
柴堆里
一把脱落的斧柄
Here is the comments given by The Haiku Foundation:
“The poet, Michael Facherty of Ireland, chooses two lines, with the first line establishing the context and suggesting the season. Again the diction is image-based and straightforward, without words that indicate judgment, or that pad out the syllable count, or that tell the reader what to think. The image is vivid, and the conclusion given an ironic twist (though irony is only one of dozens of poetic strategies that contemporary haiku employ).”
III. Chinese Haiku
Chinese Haiku has taken a completely different route from that of Japanese and that of English. Chinese Haiku instead seeks not only 17 syllables, which means 17 Chinese characters , a few more than those of Japanese, and 5-7-5 format, but also the level-and-oblique tone alternatives and rhyming. This makes our haikus dull in sound, a thousand pieces on one tune, retarded in rhythm, and old fashioned in format. If such a poem lacks fresh images and senses and fails to provoke enough imagination, then it will be completely spiritless.
How did we get on this road has a lot to do with some of our early veteran haiku poets who were deeply conversant with our classical poetic conventions. As a result, the haikus they wrote were greatly influenced by our classical poems. The following quote from Baidu will explain the ins and outs.
“On May 30, 1980, (in entertaining the visitors of Japanese Haiku Association), Mr. Zhao Puchu, inspired for poetic creation, using the 17- syllable format of Japanese Haiku as a reference and following the conventions of the meter and rhyme of Chinese classical poetry, extemporized a group of three haiku poems.” Below is the last one:
In green-shade-lured rain
Home blooms grafted to th’ abroad
Breezed into Hanpai (Chinese Haiku)
Since then, Chinese Haiku writers, using the haikus, so to speak, Mr. Zhao wrote, named what they wrote “Hanpai” and began to follow his pattern. But it remains an enigma whether it’s because of courtesy or of a language barrier that the Japanese visitors didn’t point out the mistakes. The mistakes, however, have persisted even to this day. But it was pointed out in 2012 by Shingo. He straightened it out by saying: Hanpai is not the haiku.
IV. Conclusion
However, what’s fortunate is that contemporary Chinese haikus free from the restrictions of 17 Chinese syllables, 5-7-5 format, rhyming, and level-and-oblique tone alternatives for the emphasis of spirit sprung from the imagery created and the sense of surprise formed have begun to emerge.
The haiku is petite in size, which can serve as the very form to express an aha-moment flashing past in time and space. That is exactly why it has emerged, and then spread to the world. The haiku is petite in size, but it must be rich in volume. This is because if the approximate dozen syllables express just their peripheral meaning, then, there is nothing wondrous to read. This voluminous richness comes from the tensile force of the language used, from what’s unexpressed, and from the leap in image and sense. Once there is leap in image and sense, then there is space for readers to imagine. To provoke readers’ imagination, haiku writers try very hard to avoid comments in their poems. This is because if you do, you are thinking for the readers or you are forcing a way for the readers to think. All in all, the haiku is petite, but it has to be rich in image and voluminous in sense. It has to possess spirit.
Hopefully, Chinese haiku lovers could make a continuous effort to integrate themselves into the world and compose more and more authentic Chinese haiku poems that reflect the universality of the world haiku and the individuality of the Chinese haiku.
Translated by Xu Yingcai / 徐英才译
徐英才(汉语俳句十二首)
自然与情爱
1.
夜空
孤雁划破了
那轮圆月
2.
暮色穹苍下
湖心一垂柳
顾影自怜
3.
栅门虚掩
一朵红玫
探出头来
4.
平静夜空
兰花一现
顿时风雨交加
5.
垂柳
倾身轻拨池水
撩起了涟漪
6.
初升旭日
海鸥
鸣叫着争相入巢
7.
豪宅窗外
三、五枝杏花
探头窥视
8.
屋外
一朵隔夜蔷薇
被弃在地
9.
朦胧烟雨
桥上撑伞情侣
桥下鸳鸯戏水
10.
一天鹅
凝望车板里
自身的映影
11.
扯得太猛
风筝断了线
从他院后飞走了
12.
17年日食
百年爱之旅
终于戴上钻戒
注：2017年8月21日，美国出现了99年以来第一次全境可见的超级日全食。这次超级日全食最终形成了一个如同钻石婚戒的形状。
徐英才
原复旦大学英语教师，现在美国德宝大学工作，主教汉学课程。爱好新诗、旧诗，以及英语诗歌。
Xu Yingcai (Twelve Chinese Haikus)
Nature and Love
1.
night sky
a lone goose passing the moon
eclipsing its fullness
2.
dusk sky
a willow at the heart of a lake
sways in its shadow
3.
fence door ajar
a red rose
pops out its head
4.
tranquil night sky
an orchid flashes open
stirring up wind and rain
5.
willow strings
lean to brush the pool
rippling the water
6.
the rising sun
seagulls
scream, trying to fly into the nest
7.
window of an elite house
a few apricot blossoms
peep in
8.
outside the house
an overnight rose
abandoned on the ground
9.
mizzle
on the bridge, umbrella-screened lovers
down, ducks frolic
10.
a goose
gazes at her own image
reflected from a car panel
11.
a sharp jerk
the kite breaks away
from over his backyard
12.
eclipse ‘17
a hundred-year dating trip
ends in a crown ring
Note: On August 21, 2017, United States experienced its first coast-to-coast solar eclipse in 99 years. The complete solar eclipse climaxed in the shape of a crown ring.
Translated by Xu Yingcai / 徐英才译
Xu Yingcai
An English teacher from Fudan University, now works in DePaul University, teaching Chinese studies courses. He loves new Chinese poetry, classical Chinese poetry, and English poetry.
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