如果我是美联航CEO，我会怎样写公开声明？
昨天的推文中，我吐槽了UA3411航班暴力强迫乘客下机事件后美联航 CEO Oscar Munoz 的公开声明，今天我想试着写一封得体的、诚意满满的、拿得出来有正面PR效果的公开声明。
原版公开声明/ by Oscar Munoz, CEO of United Airlines
I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers. Our team is moving with a sense of urgency to work with the authorities and conduct our own detailed review of what happened. We are also reaching out to this passenger to talk directly to him and further address and resolve this situation.
一大早起来看到美联航 CEO 在北京时间周三凌晨三点左右又发了第二份公开声明：
Statement from United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz on United Express Flight 3411
The truly horrific event that occurred on this flight has elicited many responses from all of us: outrage, anger, disappointment. I share all of those sentiments, and one above all: my deepest apologies for what happened. Like you, I continue to be disturbed by what happened on this flight and I deeply apologize to the customer forcibly removed and to all the customers aboard. No one should ever be mistreated this way.
I want you to know that we take full responsibility and we will work to make it right.
It’s never too late to do the right thing. I have committed to our customers and our employees that we are going to fix what’s broken so this never happens again. This will include a thorough review of crew movement, our policies for incentivizing volunteers in these situations, how we handle oversold situations and an examination of how we partner with airport authorities and local law enforcement. We’ll communicate the results of our review by April 30th.
I promise you we will do better.
Sincerely,
Oscar
这版明显写得更好，有了更多的感情（至于是真挚的还是看到股价暴跌不得不装出来的不得而知），第一段连用了两次“深切道歉”，第二次直接说明了向谁道歉。第二段用了“take full responsibility”，第三段较详尽地说明了接下来要做的跟进和补偿。
但大势已去，缺乏真诚和含糊其辞激发了民众的不满，也失去了大众的信任。为什么不第一次就做漂亮呢？不得不说该 CEO 接受的 MBA 教育不合格。
昨天晚上12点多在美联航 CEO 发出第二份公开声明前我写了下面的版本，现在看来对该CEO来说还有学习的价值。不是说我的英文有多好，而是想示范下怎样直接、真诚、负责任地表达观点，如何说人话。
改写版/ by Justin
I deeply apologize to the gentleman who was forcibly removed from the flight UA3411 last Sunday for having used inappropriate means on the part of flight attendants and security officials. In retrospect, United Airlines agents should have explained the circumstances and the mechanism used to determine affected passengers in a more detailed, patient and empathetic manner to make sure that the message was well communicated. Also, they should have raised the amount of compensation to give prospective volunteers a greater incentive.
With a sense of urgency, our team is working with the authorities to conduct an unbaised and detailed evidence-based review of the incident. We will publish the results and be fully responsible for what we have done. Sincere apologies again.
Sincerely,
Oscar
周一美联航的CEO还发了封内部邮件：
Dear Team,
Like you, I was upset to see and hear about what happened last night aboard United Express Flight 3411 headed from Chicago to Louisville. While the facts and circumstances are still evolving, especially with respect to why this customer defied Chicago Aviation Security Officers the way he did, to give you a clearer picture of what transpired, I've included below a recap from the preliminary reports filed by our employees.
As you will read, this situation was unfortunately compounded when one of the passengers we politely asked to deplane refused and it became necessary to contact Chicago Aviation Security Officers to help. Our employees followed established procedures for dealing with situations like this.
While I deeply regret this situation arose, I also emphatically stand behind all of you, and I want to commend you for continuing to go above and beyond to ensure we fly right. I do, however, believe there a 48 31225 48 15043 0 0 3762 0 0:00:08 0:00:03 0:00:05 3762re lessons we can learn from this experience, and we are taking a close look at the circumstances surrounding this incident.
Treating our customers and each other with respect and dignity is at the core of who we are, and we must always remember this no matter how challenging the situation.
Oscar
我想起了奥巴马在2015年白宫记者协会晚宴上的演讲，当时旁边还站了名愤怒翻译官。虽然内部邮件是这样写的，但对该航班的机组人员，CEO真实的内心可能是这样的：
You stupid dickheads! Look at all this mess you have made. The stupid video went viral online and I have to clean up the shit for you. And my UA shares are dropping, dropping. Why didn't you just up the fucking compensation to $2,000, or $3,000, or $4,000, for God's sake? Don't you know the Godfater's advice: make him an offer he can't refuse??? Do you have any idea how much this drama is costing me? Image, reputation, customer loyalty and revenues are all at stake. Get the fuck out of here.
最后分享下2012年秋天我在纽约拉瓜迪亚机场和美联航撕逼的经历。
当时我买好了感恩节回国的机票，从纽约出发，在华盛顿中转，飞北京。由于从我在的学校开车去华盛顿只有不到一个小时的车程，我专门给美联航打电话确认我是否可以只飞第二段航程，即直接从华盛顿登机，但被告知不可以。
我不知道为什么这样不可以，因为我订的是两个不同的航班，从华盛顿托运行李登机没有任何问题，而且美联航可以在纽约到华盛顿的航班上多一个座位给其他乘客，如果机仓位超售，还可能会避免一个乘客被赶下飞机的悲剧。
由于纽约飞华盛顿的航班是一大早，无奈我只好前一天晚上从华盛顿坐长途车去纽约，在 Penn Station 附近的24小时麦当劳待了几个小时，一大早坐 SuperShuttle 赶到拉瓜迪亚机场。安检进站后，才听到广播说航班延误了。关键是这一延误也会影响我在华盛顿的转机，因为我中间只有一个小时的转机时间。我慌慌忙忙地找到美联航的柜台，向他们解释了情况，由于无论如何我都赶不上华盛顿的航班，他们帮我安排了纽约直飞北京的航班，不过是搭乘中国航空公司的航班。
当时，我对中国航空公司的航班的印象比美联航还差，就有些不乐意，加上美联航拒绝了我从华盛顿登机的要求，我在美联航柜台向他们提出了投诉。我着重强调了自己从华盛顿登机的要求被拒绝，以及前一天的舟车劳顿，并指出延误航班对我接下来的计划造成的影响，经过一番拉锯美联航最终勉强同意补偿给我一张100美元的无门槛代金券。虽然整个体验非常操蛋，但在当时和美联航争取经济补偿可能是最好的办法。
启发：不管在哪里，自己的权益受到损害，都要敢于讨说法，维护自己的权益。必要的时候，用好英语这个工具（武器）。
题图：教父。
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