怎样用英文写吐槽评论？
今天突然收到一封邮件，发件人是 Google Maps, 邮件主题是“Your review is making a difference”.
点进去一看才知道，两年多前我在谷歌上写了篇评论吐槽加拿大驻纽约领事馆获得了两个点赞。
Google Maps 邮件截图
这两个点赞把这条评论顶到了 Most Helpful Reviews 的前几条。但我忍不住叹息：两年多过去了，还有人从加拿大驻纽约领事馆条目下的 150+ 条评论中发现了我的评论，看到有共鸣还给我点赞，这说明领事馆的服务体验根本没有提升啊。
加拿大驻纽约领事馆在 Google Maps 上的评分截图
当时我人在加州，因此申请签证只能使用加拿大驻纽约领事馆的服务。由于糟糕透顶的服务，我的加拿大旅行计划泡汤。一气之下，我一口气敲下了下面这篇评论，吐槽的同时也希望对后面使用领事馆服务的人提些建议。
I filed my visitor visa online application nearly FOUR months (113 days) ago and was confirmed right away the application was complete. I haven't heard anything from them since. The average processing time for this type of visa at this consulate is 42 days. They never replied to my case-specific enquiry and my complaint also went unnoticed. There is utterly no way of getting in touch with them. This is the most dysfunctional consulate I have ever dealt with. It is in fact even worse than immigration services in some war-torn countries. It's not worth the try.
I am no longer interested in visiting a country that is so irresponsive to visitors/guests and so inept in handling regular services. I could keep trying, but I won't. I feel extremely uncomfortable sending them my passport, even if my case does finally get processed, for you never know how long it takes for the passport to be mailed back, which may affect my international travel plans.
For people who are considering applying to Canadian visitor visas, here are some tips.
1) If you are planning sight-seeing in Canada, look for alternatives--for instance, the US has plenty to offer as far as sight-seeing goes. Or if you have immigration plans (not to Canada) in the future, you may first become a resident or citizen of a country that Canada doesn't require visas.
2) If you have to go to Canada, let's say, attending weddings or seeing friends, be patient, I mean really patient, and be psychologically prepared.
3) Plan far far ahead, say six months at least.
4) Don't take the average processing time seriously (as my case testifies).
5) Try not to fly airlines that have stopovers in Canada, as they require a transit visa, whose processing may take just as long as a visitor visa.
Finally, good luck!
后来我推测了下我的体验为什么异常糟糕。排除低概率情况后有一种可能性非常大，那就是驻纽约的加拿大领事馆主要服务对象的是在美国的外国人，而这里面主要是美国人，他们去加拿大一般不需要签证。而且发达国家和有互惠关系的国家的公民去加拿大短期旅行也不需要签证。因此，其他有签证需要的基本就只剩第三世界国家公民了。在领事馆资源和预算有限的情况下，给这些人最低的优先级可能是不得已的决定，可能也是明智的经济决定。所以，我只是不幸中枪而已。
遇到恼人的体验至少还可以吐吐槽，顺便练一练英文表达。据说，人在异常开心（比如在热恋中）和异常愤怒（比如遭不公平或歧视性待遇）的时候最有表达欲。这也给学习外语的人创造了很好的机会。
后面有机会我会分享我在热恋中写的英文。
P. S. 欢迎分享给以下朋友：
喜欢吐槽想用英文吐槽的朋友
正在准备雅思作文的朋友
正在准备考研英语作文的朋友
工作环境为英语的朋友
在国外学习生活需要提高英文表达力的朋友
题图：Maple leaf, www.macleans.ca
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