为什么女强人真爱难寻?
“她是女的”
“她是个不折不扣的贱人”
“她就是T”
“你要和她在一起,就做好打得天翻地覆的准备!”
“世界上有三种人,男人、女人、女博士”
这些似乎成了社会贴在女强人身上的标签,归根到底,还是社会不承认男女绝对平等的地位,又或者说在大多数人的观念中,依旧认为社会应该是一个“男主外,女主内”的模式。女强人在这种趋势下自然而然就成了一个特立独行的群体,对于她们来说,交朋友,甚至是同性朋友都变得异常困难,更何况是寻找一份真爱。
可到底为什么接受一个女强人对很多男士来说很难呢?
Most men become insecure around strong and independent women
大多数男人在一个强势的独立女性面前缺乏安全感
Women can be alpha too. Every guy who has worked under an efficient female boss can vouch for this. The problem is that men tend to feel insecure around them. This makes the women less approachable. And it has nothing to do with their looks or social status.
女人也能当老大。每一个顶头上司是女强人的男士都可以为此担保。但问题就是这些男人会没有安全感。女强人总会给人一种难以接近的感觉,但其实跟她们的长相或者社会地位毫无关系。
They have their priorities a little bit tweaked so that love takes a backseat. Career, family, travel, and self-happiness are more important
事业,家庭,旅游,自己开心似乎更重要,自然而然,爱情就被放在次要位置
How many of us have heard the cliched story of a long distance relationship where the man asks the woman to move to his city because HIS job is more important.
关于异地恋,很多男的因为觉得他们的工作比较重要,就会要求女生搬去他们所在的城市,这种陈词滥调应该很多人都听过。
What if the woman made the same request? Independent women put themselves ahead of their partners. They put their careers ahead too. Most men cannot deal with that.
但试想一下,如果女生提出这样的要求呢?独立女性会将自己和事业放在首位。就这一点很多男人都忍受不了。
They do not take help for anything from men so men think they are not interested
她们从不向男人寻求帮助,为此男人会觉得自己毫无价值
Men will assume a lot of things about independent women like “I bet you love living alone” and, “I bet you want to travel alone” and get upset misunderstanding her independence as her lack of interest in him.
很多男人对女强人都会有一些自我看法:觉得她们喜欢独居,喜欢一个人去旅游,将她们的自立错认为她们对自己不感兴趣,为此还焦躁不安。
Most of the men just label them as feminazis, which is not what they are
大多数男人会给女强人贴上“极端女权主义者”的标签,其实她们并不是这样的
Just because independent women believe in equality, it doesn’t make them feminazis. It might make them feminists for believing in equal rights for themselves, but even that makes men prod them.
只是她们平等观念强,并不是说她们是女权主义者。但相信平等可能会让她们变成女性主义者,这就让一些男人退而止步。
Patriarchal mindset is still present in many of the men’s and his parents’ heads
很多男人和他们父母的父权主义思想依旧根深蒂固
His parents will not like her sense of freedom. It’s sacrilege if the woman even suggests postponing having a child just because she wants to concentrate on her career.
男方父母无法容忍女方的自由思想。甚至女方因为事业想将生孩子计划推迟在他们眼里都是违背天理的。
Here, only men wear the pants in the family.
这种家庭里,一般只有男人可以穿裤子。
They put their own needs ahead of the others. They are sometimes thought to be selfish
只要她们优先考虑了自己,她们便被视为自私
It is OK for men to be selfish. But a woman becomes selfish and everyone loses their mind.
男人可以被允许自私。但女人如果稍微自私一点,便会被各路人马喷死。
Independent women can be very stubborn at times
女强人有时难免固执一点
They are used to holding their own. Sometimes they are wrong, and they hold their ground with ferocity. Sometimes this stubbornness can be extended to a fault. But then every one of us has been unreasonably stubborn in our lives.
她们习惯于强势。即使她们错了,她们也会毫不让步地坚守立场。有时这种固执就会发展成为一个错误。但我们每个人在生活中都会有这样不可理喻的时候。
It’s just that we are not used to seeing them in this avatar. They have every right to be unreasonable sporadically.
只是我们不习惯看到这样的她们,但实际上每个人都有权利偶尔任性一下。
Because they are independent, they will not display their emotions and call for help, even when they are hurt
她们比较独立,所以即使真的受伤了,她们也不愿意表露心迹或者寻求帮助
Independent women guard their emotions well. The stony exterior does not mean that they have a heart of stone. They have deep emotions and feelings too. But they just do not show it.
独立女性善于隐藏情绪,她们的冷酷外表并不意味着她们就心硬如石。她们也会情深意长,也会深有感触,只是不愿表露罢了。
This makes them harder to express love.
所以表达爱意对于她们来说也很困难。
They have rather high standards, which is not digested well
她们对一切的要求都很高,并且很难改变
Again, just like all the men have near-perfect standards, independent women too have high standards. This is what hurts the ego of the man.
就像很多男人拥有几近完美的标准一样,这些女强人也会有。一些大男子主义就忍受不了了。
“Why can’t you be happy with what you got?”
“你为什么对你得到的还不满意?”
Well, for starters, they are perfectly entitled to expect high standards.
好吧,可能对于发令员来说,他们追求的才是绝对标准。
They are dismissed because they are labeled as “too challenging”
她们被男人自动“屏蔽”,就是因为她们太具“挑战性”
Which might be true. They are challenging to date and love. It is challenging because men are not typically used to being in equal relationships.
这也许是对的。跟她们约会或者相爱都是一件极具挑战的事情。因为男人其实根本不适应在恋爱关系中保持平等关系。
But when the independent woman finally finds a man, the relationship is truly an equal one. Where both parties bring a lot to the table. Where both of them can learn a lot from each other.
但是当女强人真的找到真爱时,这段关系就一定建立在平等关系上。并且会双方受益,也能从彼此身上学到很多。
这些基本上就是男人对一些女强人望而却步的原因了。可其实当你真正去做了,你就会发现很多时候不是这样的。跨出这一步,一段美丽的爱情就很可能在等着你们。并且,你们的未来不是恐怖的,实际上,非常美。
(英文材料来自storypick)
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