其他
讲堂｜对妇女施暴，是谁的问题？！
(Credit: BRAC)
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针对女性的各种暴力侵犯经常被当作女人的问题在探讨，对此，反性别歧视教育家、作家、电影人 Jackson Katz 提出了不同的看法——他认为，这本质上就是男人的问题！
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Violence Against Women
— It's a Men's Issue
对女性施暴——是男性的问题
Sexual assault, domestic violence, relationship abuse, sexual harassment, sexual abuse of children. That whole range of issues that I'll refer to in shorthand as "gender violence issues," they've been seen as women's issues that some good men help out with, but I have a problem with that frame and I don't accept it. I don't see these as women's issues that some good men help out with. 性侵扰，家庭暴力，男女关系暴力，性虐待，儿童性虐待……我将这一系列问题统称为“性别暴力问题”。而这些问题常被看作是“女性问题”，需要好心男士帮忙的“女性问题”，但是我觉得这个看法有问题。我不认可。我不认为这是一个需要男性“助阵”的女性议题。
In fact, I'm going to argue that these are men's issues, first and foremost.我认为这些本质上就是男人的问题。
Now obviously—Obviously, they're also women's issues, so I appreciate that, but calling gender violence a women's issue is part of the problem, for a number of reasons.显然，这些问题也有女性的，这我也理解，但是将性别暴力问题称为“女性问题”恰恰是问题之一。原因如下：
The first is that it gives men an excuse not to pay attention, right? A lot of men hear the term "women's issues" and we tend to tune it out, and we think, "I'm a guy; that's for the girls," or "that's for the women." And a lot of men literally don't get beyond the first sentence as a result. It's almost like a chip in our brain is activated, and the neural pathways take our attention in a different direction when we hear the term "women's issues."首先这给了男性一个不关注的借口，对吧？很多男人听见“女性问题”这个词，就不以为然，觉得 “嘿，我是个男人，这些是女孩子的问题”，或者“这些是女人的事情。” 于是，很多男人听到第一句话就漠然走开了。就像大脑中的芯片被瞬间激活了，我们一听到 “女性问题”这个词，神经通路就会把我们的注意力转移到另一个方向。
This is also true, by the way, of the word "gender," because a lot of people hear the word "gender" and they think it means "women." So they think that gender issues is synonymous with women's issues. There's some confusion about the term gender.顺便说一句，“性别”这个词也一样。很多人听到“性别”这个词，就觉得指的是“女人”。所以他们觉得“性别议题”是“女性议题“的同义词。我们对“性别”这个词存在着某种误解。
And let me illustrate that confusion by way of analogy.让我来用一个例子解释这种误解。
So let's talk for a moment about race. In the US, when we hear the word "race," a lot of people think that means African-American, Latino, Asian-American, Native American, South Asian, Pacific Islander, on and on. 让我们来聊一下种族。在美国，当我们听到“种族”这个词很多人觉得它代表非裔美国人，拉丁美洲人，亚裔美国人，美洲原住民 南亚人，太平洋岛人……
A lot of people, when they hear the word "sexual orientation" think it means gay, lesbian, bisexual.当很多人听到“性取向”这个词，他们觉得这代表同性恋和双性恋。
And a lot of people, when they hear the word "gender," think it means women.还有很多人听到“性别”这个词时，觉得它代表“女人”。
In each case, the dominant group doesn't get paid attention to. As if white people don't have some sort of racial identity or belong to some racial category or construct, as if heterosexual people don't have a sexual orientation, as if men don't have a gender.在所有这些例子里，占主导地位的群体都没有被包括在内。仿佛白人没有种族身份，不属于某个种族分类；好像异性恋者没有性取向；好像男人没有性别。
This is one of the ways that dominant systems maintain and reproduce themselves, which is to say the dominant group is rarely challenged to even think about its dominance. Because that's one of the key characteristics of power and privilege, the ability to go unexamined, lacking introspection, in fact being rendered invisible, in large measure, in the discourse about issues that are primarily about us.这是主导系统进行自我维持与复制的一种方式。换句话说，就是占主导地位的群体很少受到挑战去思考他们的主导地位。这是权力与特权的一个重要特征，即拥有不被审查的权利，不用被检视，在探讨明明是关于我们的问题时得以隐身。
And this is amazing how this works in domestic and sexual violence, how men have been largely erased from so much of the conversation about a subject that is centrally about men.而令人惊叹的是，这种模式在家庭暴力和性暴力中发挥着惊人的影响。在一个关于男人的话题中，男人的身影却被擦除了。
And I'm going to illustrate what I'm talking about by using the old tech. I'm old school on some fundamental regards. I make films and I work with high tech, but I'm still old school as an educator, and I want to share with you this exercise that illustrates on the sentence-structure level how the way that we think, literally the way that we use language, conspires to keep our attention off of men.在这里，我将用一个老派的方法来解释我刚才说的话。虽然我拍电影，还用到高科技什么的，但是作为一个教育者我还是老派的。我想与你分享一个小练习。它将通过分析我们的遣词造句来揭示我们的思考方式——我们如何不知不觉成为共谋，把注意力从男人身上移开了。
This is about domestic violence in particular, but you can plug in other analogues. This comes from the work of the feminist linguist Julia Penelope.这里我以家暴来做例子，但是你也可以套用在其他方面。这个方法来自著名的女性主义语言学家茱莉亚·佩内洛普的研究。
It starts with a very basic English sentence: "John beat Mary." That's a good English sentence. John is the subject, beat is the verb, Mary is the object, good sentence. 一个很简单的英语句子。“约翰打了玛丽。”这是一个正常的英语句子。约翰是主语。打是动词。玛丽是对象。好句子。
Now we're going to move to the second sentence, which says the same thing in the passive voice. "Mary was beaten by John." And now a whole lot has happened in one sentence. 让我们继续第二个句子，基本是同样的东西，但是用被动句：“玛丽被约翰打。”这句话里就发生了很大的一个变化。
We've gone from "John beat Mary" to "Mary was beaten by John." We've shifted our focus in one sentence from John to Mary, and you can see John is very close to the end of the sentence, well, close to dropping off the map of our psychic plain. 从 “约翰打玛丽” 到 “玛丽被约翰打”，我们的注意力从约翰换到了玛丽身上，还要注意约翰现在非常靠近句子尾端，是的，几乎要从我们的思想里移走了。
The third sentence, John is dropped, and we have, "Mary was beaten," and now it's all about Mary. We're not even thinking about John, it's totally focused on Mary.第三句，把约翰移走之后，“玛丽被打” ，现在就只有玛丽了。我们压根都没想到约翰。我们的注意力完全集中在玛丽身上了。
Over the past generation, the term we've used synonymous with "beaten" is "battered," so we have "Mary was battered." And the final sentence in this sequence, flowing from the others, is, "Mary is a battered woman." 以前的年代里，我们会把 “被打”表达为 “被虐待”。于是我们就有了“玛丽被虐待”。如此推测，最后的句子就会演变成为 “玛丽是个被虐待的女人”。
So now Mary's very identity—Mary is a battered woman—is what was done to her by John in the first instance. But we've demonstrated that John has long ago left the conversation.现在玛丽有个很明确的身份——玛丽是个被虐待的女人。虐待她的人，就是第一个例句里的约翰，但是约翰在很久以前就已经离开讨论了。
Those of us who work in the domestic and sexual violence field know that victim-blaming is pervasive in this realm, which is to say, blaming the person to whom something was done rather than the person who did it. 但凡在家庭与性别暴力领域工作的人，都会知道谴责受害者最普遍最流行的。没错，被谴责的竟然是受到暴力的人，而不是施加暴力的人。
And we say: why do they go out with these men? Why are they attracted to them? Why do they keep going back? What was she wearing at that party? What a stupid thing to do. Why was she drinking with those guys in that hotel room?我们会说：“为什么这些女人会和这些男人约会？为什么她们会被这些男人吸引？为什么她们要回去？她是穿着什么样的衣服去参加派对的？这是多么愚蠢的行为啊！为什么她要和一群男人在一间酒店房间喝酒？”
This is victim blaming, and there are many reasons for it, but one is that our cognitive structure is set up to blame victims. This is all unconscious. Our whole cognitive structure is set up to ask questions about women and women's choices and what they're doing, thinking, wearing.这是责备受害者。这种做法背后有很多原因，其中之一是，我们的认知构造就是被设定成责备受害者的。这全都是由潜意识完成的。我们的认知构造就是被设定为去质疑女人和她们的选择，她们在做什么，想什么，穿什么。
And I'm not going to shout down people who ask questions about women. It's a legitimate thing to ask. But's let's be clear: Asking questions about Mary is not going to get us anywhere in terms of preventing violence.要澄清的是，我不是在禁止人们问女人的问题。问题都是合理的。但是我们要搞清楚：质问玛丽不会防范任何暴力。
We have to ask a different set of questions. The questions are not about Mary, they're about John. 我们必须问一些不同的问题。这些问题不关于玛丽，而是关于约翰。
They include things like, Why does John beat Mary? Why is domestic violence still a big problem in the US and all over the world? What's going on?Why do so many men abuse physically, emotionally, verbally, and other ways, the women and girls, and the men and boys, that they claim to love?What's going on with men? Why do so many adult men sexually abuse little girls and boys?Why is that a common problem in our society and all over the world today? Why do we hear over and over again about new scandals erupting in major institutions like the Catholic Church or the Penn State football program or the Boy Scouts of America, on and on and on? And then local communities all over the country and all over the world. We hear about it all the time. The sexual abuse of children. What's going on with men?Why do so many men rape women in our society and around the world? Why do so many men rape other men? What is going on with men? And then what is the role of the various institutions in our society that are helping to produce abusive men at pandemic rates?问题包括：为什么约翰会打玛丽？为什么家庭暴力在美国和全世界依然是严重的问题？这世界怎么啦？为什么那么多男人施暴，在身体、精神、言语上如此对待他们声称爱的女人、女孩、男人、男孩？到底男人是怎么了？为什么那么多成年男人性侵小女孩和小男孩？为什么在我们的社会里和全世界，这依然是一个普遍的问题？为什么新的丑闻一而再再而三地在重要机构里出现？比如天主教会、宾夕法尼亚州立大学的橄榄球队、美国男童军……在全国和全世界的社区里，我们不断听到性虐待儿童。男人到底怎么啦？为什么全世界那么多男人强奸女人？为什么那么多男人强奸男人？男人到底怎么啦？我们的社会制造出了大量施虐者，各种机构在其中扮演了怎样的角色？
Because this isn't about individual perpetrators. That's a naive way to understanding what is a much deeper and more systematic social problem. 这不是“个别坏人”的问题，这么去理解一个更深层次、更系统的社会问题是很幼稚的。
The perpetrators aren't these monsters who crawl out of the swamp and come into town and do their nasty business and then retreat into the darkness. That's a very naive notion, right? Perpetrators are much more normal than that, and everyday than that. So the question is, what are we doing here in our society and in the world? What are the roles of various institutions in helping to produce abusive men? What's the role of religious belief systems, the sports culture, the pornography culture, the family structure, economics, and how that intersects, and race and ethnicity and how that intersects? How does all this work?作恶者不是从沼泽爬出来的怪兽，到镇上做些坏事再退回黑暗。这是天真的想法。作恶者比这更正常，更普通。要问的是，我们到底在这个社会里做了什么？在生产施虐男人这个过程中，体制扮演了什么角色？信仰扮演了什么角色？运动文化、色情文化、家庭、经济、种族……都在扮演什么角色？这全部是如何交织在一起运作的？
And then, once we start making those kinds of connections and asking those important and big questions, then we can talk about how we can be transformative, in other words, how can we do something differently? How can we change the practices? How can we change the socialization of boys and the definitions of manhood that lead to these current outcomes? These are the kind of questions that we need to be asking and the kind of work that we need to be doing, but if we're endlessly focused on what women are doing and thinking in relationships or elsewhere, we're not going to get to that piece.当我们开始思考这些连接性，和问一些重要的大问题，我们才可以去探讨如何改变。换句话说，我们如何以不同的方式行事？我们要如何改变男生们的交际？还有“男子气概”的定义是如何造成了现在的后果？这些都是我们必须问的问题和我们必须做的工作。但是如果我们始终把注意力集中在女人在两性关系里做什么想什么，我们是无法解决问题的。
I understand that a lot of women who have been trying to speak out about these issues, today and yesterday and for years and years, often get shouted down for their efforts. They get called nasty names like "male-basher" and "man-hater," and the disgusting and offensive "feminazi", right? And you know what all this is about? It's called kill the messenger. It's because the women who are standing up and speaking out for themselves and for other women as well as for men and boys, it's a statement to them to sit down and shut up, keep the current system in place, because we don't like it when people rock the boat. We don't like it when people challenge our power. You'd better sit down and shut up, basically. 在今天和很多很多年来，很多女人都在尝试发声，但是她们的努力常常被压制，得了不雅的名称：“攻击男人者”“厌男者”“恶心的女权主义”。你知道这叫什么吗？这叫杀掉给我们送信的人。这是当女人为自己，为其他女人、男人和小男孩说话的时候，命令她们闭嘴。这是在维护现有的系统，我们不喜欢有人对抗我们的权力，所以你最好坐下。
And thank goodness that women haven't done that. Thank goodness that we live in a world where there's so much women's leadership that can counteract that. But one of the powerful roles that men can play in this work is that we can say some things that sometimes women can't say, or, better yet, we can be heard saying some things that women often can't be heard saying. Now, I appreciate that that's a problem, it's sexism, but it's the truth. So one of the things that I say to men, and my colleagues and I always say this, is we need more men who have the courage and the strength to start standing up and saying some of this stuff, and standing with women and not against them and pretending that somehow this is a battle between the sexes and other kinds of nonsense. We live in the world together.还好女人没有照做，我们置身于一个很多女性领袖活跃的世界。但有一个角色我们男人也可以担负起来：我们也可以说些什么，说些女人不方便说的、人们不愿意听女人说的话。这是性别歧视，但也是现实。我常对其他男人说，我们需要更多有勇气和力量的男人，站起来说这些问题，与女人并肩作战，而不是对抗她们，误以为这是什么两性战争。我们生存在同一个世界里。
And by the way, one of the things that really bothers me about some of the rhetoric against feminists and others who have built the battered women's and rape crisis movements around the world is that somehow, like I said, that they're anti-male. 然而，最令我头痛的是那些花言巧语反对女权运动。把那些在世界各地帮助被虐女人、提倡反强奸的活动的女性说成在“对抗男性”。
What about all the boys who are profoundly affected in a negative way by what some adult man is doing against their mother, themselves, their sisters? What about all those boys? What about all the young men and boys who have been traumatized by adult men's violence? You know what? The same system that produces men who abuse women, produces men who abuse other men.你想到过那些被伤害的小男孩吗，那些受到年长男性暴行的男孩，目睹年长男性对他们妈妈、姐妹暴行的男孩。你知道吗？造就虐待女人的和造就虐待男人的，是同一个系统。
And if we want to talk about male victims, let's talk about male victims. Most male victims of violence are the victims of other men's violence. So that's something that both women and men have in common. We are both victims of men's violence. So we have it in our direct self-interest, not to mention the fact that most men that I know have women and girls that we care deeply about, in our families and our friendship circles and every other way. So there's so many reasons why we need men to speak out. It seems obvious saying it out loud, doesn't it? 那就让我们谈谈男性受害者吧。大多数男性受害者是遭受到其他男性的暴力侵犯。所以如果男性和女性有共同点——我们都是男性暴力下的受害者。所以这和我们每个人都有直接的利害关系，更不用说我们很多男人在家庭里、朋友圈里都有深深关心的女人和女孩。所以有这么多的理由我们需要男人挺身而出。很明显我们应该大声疾呼，不是吗？
Now, the nature of the work that I do and my colleagues do in the sports culture and the US military, in schools, we pioneered this approach called the bystander approach to gender-violence prevention.现在，在体育文化、美国军队和学校里，我和我的同事们发起了一个名为“旁观者介入”的策略，来防止性别暴力。
And I just want to give you the highlights of the bystander approach, because it's a big thematic shift, although there's lots of particulars, but the heart of it is, instead of seeing men as perpetrators and women as victims, or women as perpetrators, men as victims, or any combination in there. I'm using the gender binary. I know there's more than men and women, there's more than male and female. And there are women who are perpetrators, and of course there are men who are victims. There's a whole spectrum. 我要告诉你们这个策略的关键，因为这是主题的大变化。虽然还有很多详细内容，但核心是不仅仅将男人看作施虐者、女人是受害者，或者女人是施虐者、男人是受害者，或者任何一种排列组合。我在使用两性二元法，我知道不应只是“男人女人”“男性女性”这样的二分法。而且的确有女人是加害者，当然也有男人是受害者，要全方位看。
But instead of seeing it in the binary fashion, we focus on all of us as what we call bystanders, and a bystander is defined as anybody who is not a perpetrator or a victim in a given situation, so in other words friends, teammates, colleagues, coworkers, family members, those of us who are not directly involved in a dyad of abuse, but we are embedded in social, family, work, school, and other peer culture relationships with people who might be in that situation. What do we do? How do we speak up? How do we challenge our friends? How do we support our friends? But how do we not remain silent in the face of abuse?但与其用二元法来看待两性问题，我们该把焦点放在我们整体这些所谓“旁观者”上。“旁观者”的定义是：在特定情况下既非加害者亦非受害者的人，也就是像朋友、队友、同事、家人这些与虐待二元体没有直接关联的人。但是我们在社交，家庭，工作，学校和其他同侪关系中与受虐者都是有所关联的。那我们该怎么做？要怎么挺身而出？要如何质问朋友？要怎么给予朋友支持？尤其是在面对虐待时要如何不保持沉默？
Now, when it comes to men and male culture, the goal is to get men who are not abusive to challenge men who are. And when I say abusive, I don't mean just men who are beating women. We're not just saying a man whose friend is abusing his girlfriend needs to stop the guy at the moment of attack. That's a naive way of creating a social change. It's along a continuum, we're trying to get men to interrupt each other.说到男人和男性文化，我们的目的是：让不施虐的男人挑战质疑那些施虐的男人。还有当我说暴力倾向，不仅指“打女人的男人”，不仅指一个男人看到朋友正在打女朋友，所以需要立刻停止这家伙施暴。这是很幼稚的改变社会的方法。这是个长远的过程，我们在尝试让男人们互相影响。
So, for example, if you're a guy and you're in a group of guys playing poker, talking, hanging out, no women present, and another guy says something sexist or degrading or harassing about women, instead of laughing along or pretending you didn't hear it, we need men to say, "Hey, that's not funny. that could be my sister you're talking about, and could you joke about something else? Or could you talk about something else? I don't appreciate that kind of talk."比方说，如果你是个男人，和一帮男人在玩扑克牌、谈天、逛街，没有女人在。然后一些男人说一些性别歧视或贬低侮辱女人的话，与其跟着大笑或假装没听见，我们需要男人说：“嘿，这一点都不好笑。你知道吗，你说的可能是我的姐妹，你们可说些别的笑话吗？或者可以说其它话题吗？我不赞成这类的话题。”
Just like if you're a white person and another white person makes a racist comment, you'd hope, I hope, that white people would interrupt that racist enactment by a fellow white person. Just like with heterosexism, if you're a heterosexual person and you yourself don't enact harassing or abusive behaviors towards people of varying sexual orientations, if you don't say something in the face of other heterosexual people doing that, then, in a sense, isn't your silence a form of consent and complicity?就像如果你是白人，听到另外一个白人发表种族歧视评论，你会期待有白人能打断同胞所做的种族歧视。就好象你和异性恋的人一起，如果你也是异性恋，即使你不会对不同性取向的人们做出骚扰或暴力行为，但是如果你不在其他异性恋说些东西时及时打断，你的沉默不是一种形式的同意及共谋吗？
Well, the bystander approach is trying to give people tools to interrupt that process and to speak up and to create a peer culture climate where the abusive behavior will be seen as unacceptable, not just because it's illegal, but because it's wrong and unacceptable in the peer culture.是的，“旁观者介入”试着教给人们一种方法，来挺身而出干预虐待的过程，以创造一种文化氛围，让虐待行为被视为不可接受——不仅是因为这违法，更因为这是错的，在我们的文化中不能被接受。
And if we can get to the place where men who act out in sexist ways will lose status, young men and boys who act out in sexist and harassing ways towards girls and women, as well as towards other boys and men, will lose status as a result of it, guess what? We'll see a radical diminution of the abuse. Because the typical perpetrator is not sick and twisted. He's a normal guy in every other way, isn't he?如果我们能做到当男人表现出性别歧视时会失去社会地位，年轻男人及男孩表现出性别歧视、骚扰女性或是骚扰其他男性时会因此失去社会地位，猜猜结果会怎样？我们会看到虐待现象急剧减少。因为典型的加害者不是有病或人格扭曲，他是个在每一方面都很正常的家伙。不是吗？
Now, among the many great things that Martin Luther King said in his short life was, "In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends." In the end, what will hurt the most is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.
马丁·路德·金在短短的一生中说过许多伟大的话语，其中有一句是：“最终，最令人痛心的不是敌人的话语，而是我们朋友的沉默。” 最终，最痛心的不是敌人的话语，而是我们朋友的沉默。There's been an awful lot of silence in male culture about this ongoing tragedy of men's violence against women and children, hasn't there? There's been an awful lot of silence. And all I'm saying is that we need to break that silence, and we need more men to do that.男性文化对于持续不断的男性对女性、儿童施暴的悲剧，已经有太多的沉默，不是吗？太多的沉默。而我想说的是我们需要打破沉默。而且我们需要更多男人这么做。
Now, it's easier said than done, because I'm saying it now, but I'm telling you it's not easy in male culture for guys to challenge each other, which is one of the reasons why part of the paradigm shift that has to happen is not just understanding these issues as men's issues, but they're also leadership issues for men. Because ultimately, the responsibility for taking a stand on these issues should not fall on the shoulders of little boys or teenage boys in high school or college men. It should be on adult men with power. Adult men with power are the ones we need to be holding accountable for being leaders on these issues, because when somebody speaks up in a peer culture and challenges and interrupts, he or she is being a leader, really. But on a big scale, we need more adult men with power to start prioritizing these issues, and we haven't seen that yet, have we?但是说比做要容易。别看我现在说得头头是道，但我告诉你，在男性文化里让男性挑战彼此真的很难。这也是为什么要进行主题转移。要了解这些议题不但是男人的问题，还是男人领导能力的问题。因为最终要挺身而出为此议题负责的担子，不该落在小男孩、高中青少年或大学男生的肩上，而是应该落在成年有权力的男人上。有权力的成年男性才是需要为此负上责任，去领导解决问题的人。因为会在同侪中挺身而出挑战并阻止事件发生的人，无论男女，就是真正的领袖，不是吗？但是从整体来看，我们需要更多有权力的成年男性开始把这些议题放在优先，而目前我们还没有看到，是吧？
Now, I was at a dinner a number of years ago, and I work extensively with the US military, all the services. And I was at this dinner and this woman said to me -- I think she thought she was a little clever -- she said, "So how long have you been doing sensitivity training with the Marines?" And I said, "With all due respect, I don't do sensitivity training with the Marines. I run a leadership program in the Marine Corps."我与美国各种军队有很多合作，多年前我在一个晚餐上，有一位女士对我说：“所以你给美国海军陆战队做这个‘敏感度培训’有多久了？” 我说：“恕我直言，我不是对海军陆战队进行‘敏感度训练’。我是在对海军陆战队进行领袖培训。”
Now, I know it's a bit pompous, my response, but it's an important distinction, because I don't believe that what we need is sensitivity training. We need leadership training, because, for example, when a professional coach or a manager of a baseball team or a football team—and I work extensively in that realm as well—makes a sexist comment, makes a homophobic statement, makes a racist comment, there will be discussions on the sports blogs and in sports talk radio. And some people will say, "He needs sensitivity training." Other people will say, "Well, get off it. That's political correctness run amok, he made a stupid statement, move on." 我知道我的回答有点浮夸。但这里有一个很重要的区别，因为我不认为我们需要的是“敏感度培训”，我们要的是领袖培训。举个例，当一位棒球队或足球队的专业教练或经理（我在这领域也有很多合作经验），讲了性别歧视的话、讲了恐同的话、发表了种族歧视的评论，那么体育博客及体育广播台都会讨论这句话。有些人会说，“嗯，他需要‘敏感度培训’。” 另一些人会说，“啧，莫名其妙。你知道，这就是政治正确过头了，他说了句蠢话。别理就行了。”
My argument is, he doesn't need sensitivity training. He needs leadership training, because he's being a bad leader, because in a society with gender diversity and sexual diversity—and racial and ethnic diversity, you make those kind of comments, you're failing at your leadership. If we can make this point that I'm making to powerful men and women in our society at all levels of institutional authority and power, it's going to change the paradigm of people's thinking.我的论点是他不需要敏感度培训，他需要的是领袖培训。因为他是个很糟的领导。因为在这个性别多元、性向多元、种族多元的社会，你发表那种言论，就是在领导力上不及格。如果我们可以让这个社会上各个机构、有权有势的男人女人都理解这点，我们一定会改变，一定会改变，人的思考模式！
You know, for example, I work a lot in college and university athletics throughout North America. We know so much about how to prevent domestic and sexual violence, right? There's no excuse for a college or university to not have domestic and sexual violence prevention training mandated for all student athletes, coaches, administrators, as part of their educational process. We know enough to know that we can easily do that.举个例，我跟北美许多大学里的运动员合作。我们非常了解该如何防止家暴及性暴力，对吧？大学没有任何借口不办家暴及性暴力防治训练，让所有体育生、教练及行政经理人必修，成为他们教育学程的一部分。我们非常清楚我们有能力轻易做到。
But you know what's missing? The leadership. But it's not the leadership of student athletes. It's the leadership of the athletic director, the president of the university, the people in charge who make decisions about resources and who make decisions about priorities in the institutional settings. That's a failure, in most cases, of men's leadership.但你知道我们缺少什么吗？领导力。我不是指体育生的领导力，我是指体育部主任的领导力，大学校长的领导力。这些掌权的人，这些可以在资源上做决策的人，还有那些可以决定机构单位的优先权的人，在大部分情况下，都是失败的男性领导力。
Look at Penn State. Penn State is the mother of all teachable moments for the bystander approach. You had so many situations in that realm where men in powerful positions failed to act to protect children, in this case, boys. It's unbelievable, really. But when you get into it, you realize there are pressures on men. There are constraints within peer cultures on men, which is why we need to encourage men to break through those pressures.看看宾州州立大学。宾州州立大学简直是学习“旁观者介入”模式的一面镜子。在那里有太多情况下，有权势的男人没有采取行动去保护孩子，在这个例子里是男孩。这简直不可置信，真的。但是当你深入了解时，你会发觉有很多压力施于男人。有些束缚发生在男性文化中。所以我们必须鼓励男人去突破这些压力。
And one of the ways to do that is to say there's an awful lot of men who care deeply about these issues.
其中一个方法是宣告：有很多男人真的关心这些话题。
I know this, I work with men, and I've been working with tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of men for many decades now. It's scary, when you think about it, how many years. But there's so many men who care deeply about these issues, but caring deeply is not enough. We need more men with the guts, with the courage, with the strength, with the moral integrity to break our complicit silence and challenge each other and stand with women and not against them.我对此很清楚。我跟男人共事许久。过去几十年来我已经与成千上万的男人合作过。的确有很多男人非常深刻地关心这些议题。但是深刻地关心还是不够，我们需要更多有胆量的男人——有勇气，有力量，有修养，来打破这共谋的沉默，并能提出质疑，能与女人肩并肩而不是背对背。
By the way, we owe it to women. There's no question about it. But we also owe it to our sons. We also owe it to young men who are growing up all over the world in situations where they didn't make the choice to be a man in a culture that tells them that manhood is a certain way. They didn't make the choice. We that have a choice, have an opportunity and a responsibility to them as well.再说，这也是我们欠女人的。这是无可否认的。这也是我们欠我们儿子的。这也是我们欠全世界年轻男人的——他们在不能选择的情况下，只能依从文化教养，长成能被社会接受的“男子汉大丈夫”。他们无从选择。我们这些有选择的人可以给他们机会。我们有这个责任。
I hope that, going forward, men and women, working together, can begin the change and the transformation that will happen so that future generations won't have the level of tragedy that we deal with on a daily basis. 我希望，从今往后，男人和女人可以一同合作，改变这个世界。这样下一代就不会再看到这些我们每天都在应对的悲剧。
I know we can do it, we can do better. Thank you very much.我知道我们可以做到。我们可以做得更好。谢谢。
（转自“TED官网”，译文略有调整）
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