奇迹的礼物 | 禅修经验分享

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主页君的前言：好几天没有更新，主页君去参加何德伦老师在香港的静修营了，很有收获。何德伦老师，一位马来西亚的禅修者，他拥有30多年的禅修经验，并在德加尼亚禅师指导下学习了四念处15余年。感恩何老师的分享。正念小站，将在随后的一个月进入不定期更新模式，这个月要交论文，五月还有一些任务去完成，有机会了就更新哈。还是祝大家正念满满，善法增上，各自用功吧。呵呵！

I was back in Penang last weekend for QingMing and an unusual event unfolds in my mind that I wish to share here. While waiting at the premise for the event to end, I noticed a guy on a bike came calling out for help. In most usual cases, I will just either ignore the plea of that person or maybe moved away from it. Due to the many unpleasant stories of the past which my mind buys into, I will always be in doubt whether those cases are genuine or not. 

我想和你们分享一件发生在我心里的不寻常的事情。上个周末为了清明节我回到了槟城。当我等着活动结束的时候，我注意到一个人骑着自行车过来寻求帮助。在大部分情况下，我要不就直接忽略掉那个人的请求，或者直接避开。因为心相信了过去很多不愉快的故事，我一直都怀疑这些人是真不是真的需要帮助。

But this time round I noticed the doubt in my mind and instead of ignoring him, I gave the guy a sum of money as his plea to support his family. He requested for more and I am certain the amount that I gave is what I can offer. As I moved away from him, I noticed from afar a sweeper of the temple waving at me not to give. That instant moment I noticed a tiny guilt arising in my space of what I have done. This is the usual scenario that most of us would have encountered each time when a good deed is done and someone intercepted us with another idea and changes our mind of what we have done.

但是这一次，我觉察到心里的疑虑。我没有忽略他，如他所请求的那样，我给了他一些钱去帮助他的家庭。他要求再给一些，但我很肯定我给的数目是我所能给予的。当我离开他时，我觉察到，远处有一位寺院的清扫夫正在挥手示意我不要给他钱。那一刹那，我觉知到心里生起了小小的后悔，后悔我那么做了。我们大多数人都会遇到这种情况，每一次我们做了一件好事，然后某人说的另一件事情，就改变了我们对自己的行为的看法。

Somehow in that moment instead of regretting, surprisingly, understanding arises in the mind, showing me very clearly that this very mind that I experience has two potentials – generosity and stinginess. They are impersonal potentials - not me or mine. I can't even give credit as "me" at that moment when understanding arises. They arise out of different conditions – there is just no right or wrong attached to it – except that one feels freer and the other trapped. In the past, the attention will be on both the persons – one seemingly ‘cheated’ me and the other ‘good samaritan’ advising me. In this way of viewing, they became my target of attack or defense. In such situation, it would have felt 'so right" to make another right or wrong and make myself either in bitterness or self-blame. Often than not, pride arises thereon – doesn't matter whether it is superiority, inferiority or equality – all are just defilements in pursuit. Whereas when understanding arises, it is no longer about anyone outside of this mind. Not even about "me". It is about what is potentially in the mind that can ripen according to the situation. 

不知怎么的，在那个时刻，我没有后悔，出人意料的，理解在心里生起 ，非常清晰的向我展示了，我经历的这颗心，有两种潜力-慷慨和吝啬。它们是非个人的潜力-不是我，不是我的。当理解升起时，甚至不是“我”。 它们是由不同的因缘条件产生的——没有对错之分——只是一个感觉更自由，而另一个感觉被困住了。在过去，注意力会在两个“人”身上- 一个人看起来“欺骗”了我，而另一个’好心人’给了我建议。如果从这个角度看，他们就成为了我攻击或防护的目标。在这种情况下，评价他人对或错，让我自己幽怨或者自责，就非常“理所应当”了。通常随后“我慢”就升起了—— 无论是优越感，自卑感，或是平等感——三者都只是杂染（烦恼）在追求。而当理解生起时，就和这颗心之外的人无关了，甚至都不是关于“我”，而是关于在不同的情况下，是什么潜藏在心里会随着因缘成熟显现出来。

I can never imagine such profound potential for understanding that can arise in the mind. It is pretty amazing how such gift can take place without me needing to think it out by myself – even if I can, it is just a dishonest coverup of what I am hurt about. In the past, it would have been either right or wrong. It was such an unusual occurrence as compared to all such similar past experiences and I am just thankful that wisdom has done a good job out of it, instead of delusion taking precedent in that brief event. From this learning, if we take the initiative to be interested in our own mind, instead of targeting bodies, often then not, an unexpected gift of miracle is given. Each time wisdom never fails to show again only when there is a willingness to learn about our own minds.

我从不敢想象有这样深厚的潜力让理解可以在心中生起。这样的礼物会降临是多么令人惊讶，甚至不需要我主动去思考——即使我可以，那也只是不诚实的掩盖让我难过的事情。在过去，事情不是对就是错。与所有过去类似的经验相比，这是一个多么不同寻常的事件，我非常感激，智慧出色的完成了工作，没有让愚痴占了上风。 从这个事上学到，如果积极主动的对我们的心感兴趣，而不是针对“人”，那么一个意料之外的奇迹的礼物会降临。每一次当我们愿意去学习我们的心时，智慧就一定会再一次的显现。

何德伦导师简介

     何德伦导师已经教授禅修30余年，吸收了许多先贤智慧的教导与他自己多年的正念经验之旅。他通过课程、工作坊、周末静修的方式为禅修者提供了一种当代的禅修方式。他的独特风格教学和分享啟发反思和讨论。通过以正念+智慧为工具，他擅长引导禅修者深入通过修习正念+智慧, 理解自心的运作，从而带来自由和快乐。

    何德伦导师也是Clove&Clive的合办人，何德伦导师于2002年第一次与德加尼亚禅师会面，以后几乎每年都会前往缅甸雪吴敏中心禅修。在此之前，他是在马哈西尊者的传统下修习。他曾协助卡巴金博士编写两本书《Letting Everything Become Your Teacher》和《Arriving at your own door》。他编写了《爱的智慧》及一些供给团体结缘的书，定期更新博客“超越世间”http://illusiontoreality.com/。

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