井底之蛙：一步一步来，走出生活的“死胡同”
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老桑说
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老桑在萨斯奎汉诺克州立公园
一个愉快的夏日午后，我来到了位于费城以西约130公里的萨斯奎汉诺克州立公园(Susquehannock State Park)远足。公园坐落在一个树木繁茂的高原上，萨斯奎哈纳河在期间静静流淌。我沿着长约大约五英里的小路散步，看到了许多当地的野生动物。
小径引领着徒步旅行者穿过茂密的阔叶林。蕨类植物、杜鹃花和其他覆盖地面的植物生长茂盛，繁盛地绽放在小径中。藤蔓从树上垂下来，树冠遮住了太阳和天空。当我沿着这条狭窄的小径徒步旅行时，我逐渐习惯了这种幽暗而沉浸其中的气氛。
萨斯奎哈纳河
虽然我欣赏树林的美丽，但我发现自己对更广阔的世界的视野却非常有限。这就好像是坐井观天，你只能从一个狭窄的角度看问题，而不了解情况的所有事实。通常情况下，一个在“丛林”中呆得太久的人甚至不知道他们视野的狭隘。
有的人眼界并不开阔或生活封闭。不能或拒绝看到大局的人在中国被称为“井底之蛙”。如果他们受困于同样的情况下，使用同样的技能，他们就会失去与其他可能让他们过上更有趣或更有成效生活的可能性的联系。
公园里的一条步道叫做“Overlook Trail”(“眺望小径“)，它从森林延伸到悬崖顶端，从那里可以看到下方令人难忘的萨斯奎哈纳河。当我从树林里出来的时候，仿佛拨云见雾一般，在更高的地方看到了一个全新的广阔世界。我已经习惯了单调的景色，这个新的有利位置使我想起了外面的世界。
萨斯奎汉诺克州立公园小径
我还是原来的自己，依然身处此地，但是我的观点完全改变了。这种从黑暗到光明，从狭窄到宽阔的跨越，也是一种思维练习，帮助自己走出生活中的死胡同。
“死胡同”代表一种没有任何进步或者发展前景的情形。就像一条没有出口的路一样，没有出路，也没有前进的机会。与试图克服障碍不同，死胡同更像是当你在生活中碰壁，感到沮丧时所体会到的。它经常被用来描述没有前途的工作或关系。
视角
Perspective
之前我写了自己来到上海中心大厦和广州塔参观的经历，在那里我可以登高望远。从地面看上去的大型物体，在空中看时就要小得多。当你站在山脚下时，它看起来势不可挡，但一旦你爬上去往下看，你对那座山的看法就会改变。
从更高的角度调整我们对事物的看法，可以帮助我们克服生活中的障碍，培养更宏大的视野。沿着这条路，我从树林中穿过，来到了远眺台，这让我想到了一个隐喻，帮助我们摆脱困境，一个帮助我们从墨守成规到发挥我们最大潜能的方法。
如果你对自己说：“过去是怎样的，将来也会是如此“此后你的话将成为一个自我实现的预言，你doom（注定）会让自己狭隘地生活在黑暗的森林里，无法或不愿看到以外的世界。要走出死胡同，重要的是改变你对自己的看法，以及你如何看待自己的处境。
如果你真的想要开始一段新的恋情，或是离开一份没有前途的工作，开始自己的事业，或者刚刚走出抑郁或精神不佳的困境，这里有三个步骤可以帮助你改变自己的观点。
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走出生活的死胡同的第一步是转变你的思维方式，看看你能以某种方式创造价值。无论你的背景、经历、年龄或身份如何，你都可以做些什么来为这个世界增添价值。我们可能会unwitting（不知不觉）地陷入绝境，因为我们不允许自己看到自己的价值。
有时候，我们让别人来决定我们自己的价值。如果你和一个糟糕的老板在一个不健康的工作环境中，或者你和一个贬低你的人在一起，你可能会将他们的评价内化，并相信他们对你的描述。如果你在工作中觉得自己不受尊重，你可能会接受这些评价，同时也不尊重自己。
我们也可能降低自己的价值。如果你在个人挑战中面临人性的局限，你可能会贬低自己。例如，如果你正在努力学习一门语言，减肥，戒烟，或实现一些其他的个人目标，但发现没有自己取得多大的进步，反而你可能会认为自己比其他人成功的价值更少。
但最终，你教会了人们如何对待你。如果你允许老板、朋友或伴侣对自己不好，这其实是在自贬身价。如果你允许自己不思进取，实际上也会导致同样的结果。为了走出死胡同，你首先要审视自己的内心，看看自己是否有价值，是否能够创造价值。
大家都知道我每天晚上工作到很晚，而且经常当我离开的时候，大楼里只剩下清洁工。随着时间的推移，我们互相了解，不管我是在中国还是在美国，他们经常对我说同样的话：“我不够聪明，做不了更多的事情。”家政工作已成为他们的死胡同。
如果你长期浏览我的公众号，就会知道我从不接受浪费机会的悲剧。我告诉清洁人员，尽管他们对自己的自我价值有负面评价，但他们确实拥有可以帮助自己在市场上找到其他工作的宝贵经验。
例如，在工作几年后，他们会表现出稳定和良好的职业道德。如果他们上夜班，说明他们有能力在非传统的工作岗位上努力工作。日复一日，他们必须服从命令，作为一个团队工作，保持高效，并且报告或修理设备问题，创造一个有序的环境。这些技能和能力都有很大的价值。
井底之蛙
很多时候，人们说他们没有经验去做他们想做的事情。这和先有鸡还是先有蛋的问题类似，如果你只是坐而论道，你当然无法获得经验!无论大小，其实你都拥有着宝贵的生活和工作经验。
如果是清洁人员，尽管作为初级职位并没有多少上升空间，但他们的经验使他们能够尝试一些complementary（互补的）工作岗位，比如设施管理。这就是他们如何能够把自己的经历，连同他们的生活故事和挑战一起，带到一段新的冒险经历中，帮助自己收获成长并帮助他人。
无论你在生活中的地位如何，你都会拥有一些经验。知道它是什么，以及如何包装它，将使你向上发展，得以脱颖而出。
03
我在徒步旅行中遇到了一些鹿。它们一感觉到我的存在，停下来，盯着我看，然后就跑开了。尽管我无意伤害它们，但它们的instinct（本能）促使它们逃跑。如果他们更大胆些，我就会很高兴和他们互动，因为我有一些他们会喜欢的零食!(当然，我不会这么做，因为这违反了公园的规定。)
在远眺处，我看到了经常在空中盘旋的白头鹰、鱼鹰和土耳其秃鹫。这些鸟在高空盘旋，相较于森林中的鹿它们能够接触到更广阔的世界。我认为这是一个美丽的比喻，代表着从一个更高、更enlightened（开明的）角度来看待生活。
白头鹰
作为人类，我们通过理性、分析、展望世界的方式将自己与动物区别开来。我们可以飞得比鹰还高，从更高的角度看待生命和其所赋予的所有可能性。无论你身在何处，都有选择的余地。通过这种方式，你可以看到，“死胡同”不是终点站，但其实它只是一个前进路上的经停站而已。
老桑在萨斯奎汉诺克州立公园
我的朋友，当你看到自己的价值，欣赏自己拥有的经验，并扩大你的视野，让自己的头脑想出新的解决方案，就可以走出死胡同。与其做井底之蛙，不如做田野里的青蛙，自信地从一个地方跳到另一个地方，探索自己的领地。尽情释放“我能”的潜力，而不是说“我不能”。
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英文版
English
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The frog in the well:
how to get out of a dead-end situation
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「 Hello, my friend！
I'm John Smagula. 」
The trails bring hikers through a dense forest of mature hardwood trees. Ferns, rhododendron, and other ground cover were thick with growth, crowding into the trail itself. Vines hung down from trees, and the tree canopy shut out the sun and sky above. As I kept hiking along the narrow trail, I became accustomed to this dark and encroaching environment.
Susquehanna River
Although I appreciated the beauty of the woods, I only had a very limited perspective of the greater world beyond. It was like having tunnel vision, where you only see things from a narrow perspective and are unaware of all of the facts of a situation. Very often, a person who has been “in the woods” for too long may not even know they have tunnel vision.
Some people are closed-minded or live sheltered lives. A person who cannot or refuses to see the big picture is known in Chinese as a “frog in a well.” If they are stuck in the same situations and using their same skills, they lose touch with other possibilities that could enable them to lead more interesting or productive lives.
One trail in the park is the Overlook Trail, which comes out from the forest to the top of a cliff offering memorable views of the Susquehanna River below. As I emerged from the woods, my blinders came off, and I saw a whole new and expansive world from higher up. I had gotten used to the monotony of the scenery, and this new vantage reminded me of the world beyond.
I was still the same person, and I was still in the same place, but my perspective was completely changed. This crossing from dark to light, from narrow to broad, is also a thought exercise that can get out of dead-end situations in life.
A “dead end” is a situation offering no prospects of progress or development. Like a road with no exit, a dead-end situation has no opportunity for advancement. Unlike trying to overcome an obstacle, a dead end is more like when you have hit rock bottom in life and feel despondent. It is often used to describe jobs or relationships that aren’t going anywhere.
Perspective
I have written before about my trips to the top the Shanghai Tower and Canton Tower, where I was able to stand tall and see far. What from the ground looks like a big object looks much smaller from the air. When you are at the base of a mountain it looks overwhelming, but once you climb it and look down, your perspective of that same mountain changes.
Adjusting our perspective of things by taking a higher view can help us overcome obstacles in life and cultivate a greater sense of vision. Along these lines, my crossing from the woods to the overlook struck me as a metaphor as a way to get out of dead-end situations, to go from being stuck in a rut to achieving our greatest potential.
If you say to yourself, “This is how it has been, and this is how it will always be,” then your words will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you are dooming yourself to a narrow life in the dark forest, unable or unwilling to see the world beyond. To get out of a dead end, it is important to change your perspective on yourself and how you view your situation.
If you really want to get into a new relationship, leave a dead-end job, start your own business, or just emerge from a tunnel of depression or lethargy, here are three steps to help change your perspective.
The first step to getting out of a dead-end situation in life is to shift your mindset and see that you can create value in some way. No matter what your background, experience, age, or identity, there is something you can do to add value to the world. We may unwittingly remain in dead-end situations because we do not allow ourselves to see our own value.
Sometimes, we allow others to determine our own value. If you’re in a toxic work environment with a horrible boss, or you’re in a relationship with someone who demeans you, you may internalize their abuse and believe their narrative about you. If you feel disrespected by others at your job, you may absorb those judgments and disrespect yourself as well.
We may diminish our own value as well. If you are facing your human limitations in a personal challenge, you may tend to devalue yourself. For example, if you’re trying to learn a language, lose weight, quit smoking, or achieve some other personal goal, but find that you haven’t made much progress, you may think you have less value than others who have succeeded.
In the end, though, you teach people how to treat you. If you allow a boss, friend, or partner to treat you badly, you are participating in your own devaluation. If you allow yourself to talk yourself down, you’re doing the same. In order to get out of a dead-end situation, you first have to look deep within yourself and see that you have value and can create value.
I am known to work very late hours every night, and very often, the only people left in the building when I leave are the cleaning staff. Over time we get to know each other, and regardless of whether I’m in China or the United States, they often say the same thing to me, “I’m not smart enough to do anything more.” Housekeeping has become their dead end.
If you have read my blog long enough, you know that I never accept the tragedy of wasted opportunity. I tell the cleaning staff that despite their negative statements about their self-worth, they actually do have valuable experience that they could market for a different job.
For example, after a few years, they will have demonstrated stability and a good work ethic. If they work the night shift, they show their ability to work hard at a nontraditional job. Day in and day out, they have to follow orders, work as a team, be efficient, report or fix equipment problems, and create an orderly environment. These skills and abilities all have great value.
So often, people say that they don’t have the experience to do something they want to. It’s like the chicken or the egg problem, as you can’t gain experience if you simply sit around and say you don’t have any! You have valuable life and work experiences, no matter how big or small.
With the cleaning staff, even though there is not much room for growth in the entry-level positions, their experience enables them to try something that is complementary, like facilities management. This is how they can bring their experiences, along with their life stories and challenges, to a new adventure that will allow themselves to grow and help others.
No matter your station in life, you have experience. Knowing what it is and how to package it will position you to move up and out.
On my hike, I came across some deer. As soon as they sensed my presence, they stopped, stared, and ran off. Even though I had no intent to hurt them, their instinct caused them to run away. Had they been bolder, I would have been happy to interact with them, as I had some snacks they would have enjoyed! (Actually, I wouldn’t have, as it’s against park regulations.)
At the overlook, I observed the bald eagles, osprey, and turkey vultures that regularly patrol the sky. These birds were circling high above, exposing themselves to a much broader set of resources than the deer in the woods. I think this is a beautiful metaphor for seeing life from a higher, more enlightened perspective.
Bald Eagle
As humans, we set ourselves apart from animals by being able to reason, analyze, and see the world at large. We can fly higher than the eagles, seeing life and all its possibilities from an even higher perspective. Wherever you are, there are options you can choose. This way, you can see the “dead end” not as a terminal station, but just one stop as you move forward.
My friend, when you see your value, appreciate your experience, and enlarge your vision, you enable your mind to come up with fresh solutions to get out of your dead-end situation. Rather than be a frog in the well, try being a frog in a field that explores its territory by confidently jumping from place to place. Rather than say “I can’t,” you will unleash the potential of “I can.”
{ 今日英文速记卡 }
1.Doom \ ˈdüm \
a)含义：v. 注定
b)例句：
i.If you say to yourself, “This is how it has been, and this is how it will always be,” then your words will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and you are dooming yourself to a narrow life in the dark forest, unable or unwilling to see the world beyond.
如果你对自己说：“过去是怎样的，将来也会是如此“此后你的话将成为一个自我实现的预言，你注定会让自己狭隘地生活在黑暗的森林里，无法或不愿看到以外的世界。
ii.The marriage was doomed from the start.
这桩婚姻从一开始就注定要破裂。
c)近义词：destine, fate, ordain
2.Unwitting \ ˌən-ˈwi-tiŋ \
a)含义：adj. 不知情的
b)例句：
iii.We may unwittingly remain in dead-end situations because we do not allow ourselves to see our own value.
我们可能会不知不觉地陷入绝境，因为我们不允许自己看到自己的价值。
iv.He became an unwitting accomplice in the crime.
他糊里糊涂地成了犯罪的帮凶。
c)近义词：accidental, chance, unplanned
3.Complementary
\ ˌkäm-plə-ˈmen-t(ə-)rē \
a)含义：adj. 辅助的；互补的
b)例句：
v.With the cleaning staff, even though there is not much room for growth in the entry-level positions, their experience enables them to try something that is complementary, like facilities management.
如果是清洁人员，尽管作为初级职位并没有多少上升空间，但他们的经验使他们能够尝试一些互补的工作岗位，比如设施管理。
vi.The readings are complementary to my lectures.
因为你应该把那些书当作是我讲座的补充。
c)近义词：correlative, reciprocal, supplementary
4.Instinct \ ˈin-ˌstiŋ(k)t \
a)含义：n. 本能；直觉
b)例句：
vii.Even though I had no intent to hurt them, their instinct caused them to run away.
尽管我无意伤害它们，但它们的本能促使它们逃跑。
viii.However, they have a similar originality, the human instinct of hopes and dreams.
但它们有一共同的本原，这就是人类希望与梦想的本能。
c)近义词：disposition, inclination, propensity
5.Enlightened \ in-ˈlī-tᵊnd \
a)含义：adj. 开明的；文明的
b)例句：
ix.I think this is a beautiful metaphor for seeing life from a higher, more enlightened perspective.
我认为这是一个美丽的比喻，代表着从一个更高、更开明的角度来看待生活。
x.Books like this one point to a more enlightened road: the future depends on us taking it.
像这样一本书指向一条更加开明的道路：未来取决于我们是否走那条路。
c)近义词：educated, illuminated, inspired
Thank you for watching me to inspire, encourage, and accompany you.
See you next time.
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John Smagula
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