从学习语言到学习法律——《55 Successful Harvard Law School Essays》精读系列6

律政留学

关于《55 Successful Harvard Law School Essays》精读系列的介绍可参考：《55 Successful Harvard Law School Essays》精读系列 1：移民申请者。在律政的中国陆本JD申请者中，有两大主要人群，一类是法本，另外一类就是语言专业的的学子了（包括英语和其他小语种），让我们来一起看看这篇语言学习爱好者的PS。

PS

DANIEL PIERCE

Aeropuerto. My love of language began with this single word. After my first day of high-school Spanish, I lay on my bed with my book propped on my chest and carefully repeated it over and over. My tongue stumbled maddeningly over the word’s flapped “r” sounds and strings of unruly vowels, but I was determined to pronounce it correctly. For most other students at my small high school in rural eastern Tennessee, the foreign-language requirement was a hurdle standing between them and their diplomas. While the places beyond our region interested few people I knew, other cultures fascinated me from a very young age. One of my favorite childhood pastimes was spinning my globe and imagining what life was like in the unpronounceable cities my finger landed on, and my first Spanish class represented an opportunity to discover more about the people in those exotic faraway places. On that afternoon seven years ago, I spent over an hour on my bed repeating the word aeropuerto until I was satisfied that I had it right. Since that day, I have had an insatiable passion for language.

Determination to master a single word soon developed into a general resolve to acquire as many words in other languages as possible. I am one of the peculiar people who consider mastering the Cyrillic alphabet or researching Romance-language pronoun evolution a good time. Languages amaze me in their staggering complexity yet striking simplicity—while they are dauntingly complex systems of rules and exceptions to me, any small child can master them without training. Studying other tongues has given me a fuller understanding of the way languages, including my own, function. I now have increased awareness and control over the manner in which I express myself in English (though perhaps, according to my friends, on occasion I tend to overanalyze what others say).

As any student of foreign languages can attest, the pursuit of fluency is a never-ending challenge. My many blunders (calling myself a “pig” instead of a “left-hander”) and embarrassing moments (enduring correction from a five-year-old) have caused me to consider giving up many times. However, the personal relationships I have developed with people from other countries as a result of our shared language have made the effort worthwhile. I will never forget the delight of my Bangladeshi roommate’s mother when I greeted her in Bengali or the astonishment of a Moroccan man when I conversed with him in both French and Arabic. Participating in a massive antiterrorism demonstration in the rain-soaked streets of Madrid two days after the train bombings there made me very thankful I had studied Spanish. My exposure to people from the places I used to dream about has given me a broader perspective on the world. Teaching English to local Hispanics allowed me to see the other side of our country’s immigration debate through the eyes of the poor Mexican migrant workers who became my friends. By studying Arabic and rooming with a Muslim, I have developed a respect for the Islamic faith and more acceptance for differing religious views than my background as a Southern Baptist pastor’s son afforded me.

My interest in other languages eventually evolved into a desire to explore deeper questions concerning the way language works and the role it plays in human life. Through my self-designed major in linguistics, I have viewed language as a way of examining both humanity and the world through disciplines as disparate as philosophy, anthropology, and computer science. Language is the vehicle for transmission of our culture, the medium of expression for our thoughts and ideas, and the basis for human society. The intellectual rigor and logical nature of language’s scientific study interest me, but in the end I find examining language from the outside unfulfilling. Linguistics seeks to explore the connection between language, society, and the individual, but its status as a detached observer prevents it from affecting those relationships.

Experience speaking other languages has taught me to value the shared, profoundly human, action of communicating with others to understand their views and formulate my own. At the same time, my study of linguistics has allowed me to appreciate language as an object of extreme complexity that demands thorough analysis. Because of my interest in these two very different aspects of language, I now feel compelled to seek a career in the field of law. At its core, the study of the law is the study of language and the way it can be used to establish and modify the framework for human interaction. Through language, the law seeks a consensus of views in order to codify the rules that govern all of us. While both linguistics and the law engage in the common activity of examining language’s complexities, the law does so with the express purpose of using language as a tool to change society. By studying the law, I look forward to continuing to challenge my beliefs through interaction with others and to studying more profoundly the phenomenon that has fascinated me from the day I learned aeropuerto.

点评

Bari M. Schwartz, The Harvard Crimson

Daniel Pierce does not do himself much of a favor with this essay on his love of language. The entire essay unoriginally describes his love of language, and his reasoning does not set him apart from anyone else who loves studying foreign languages. And the motif does tend to get overused for applications to both law school and other undergraduate and graduate institutions.

The reason Daniel is unconvincing is that he doesn’t provide the reader with new insight about learning a language. It is clear to anyone who has studied a foreign language that language intersects with culture; that languages are complex; that an adult student will still know less than a five-year-old for whom the language is his native tongue; and that learning languages helps foster international relationships.

Toward the middle, Daniel makes reference to his Bangladeshi roommate’s mother. Had he started instead with an anecdote about this situation, one unique to him as opposed to the discovery of a “single word” (a cliché opening line in itself), perhaps he would have better grabbed the reader’s attention. Instead, this one-line story seems gratuitous. Furthermore, aeropuerto—the word that ostensibly ties the entire essay together—does not take on any special meaning. If, for example, his essay segued into an anecdote about a layover in a Mexican airport and his runin with the law’s intersection with international relations, this would have made a much more intriguing and convincing essay.

Daniel’s focus on explaining language unfortunately gives the reader only limited insight into his personality, previous experiences, or why he is so personally compelled to study law.

David Atnip, 律政留学外籍主管

Daniel Pierce structures his essay as a personal narrative, a story. This is, perhaps, the most common structure for a personal statement. It works well; people remember stories. Besides beginning, and ending, well, the PS writer should include specific lessons learned. This type of essay allows the writer to show his, her, own character development and leadership potential.

Mr. Pierce relates his story well enough. There is a theme—passion for language. There is a clear opening and closing with Pierce’s opening thought brought back in the final sentence. The English text is well written. Sentence structures are adequate. The story flows. What is missing are facts, context, for a reader to answer the question: who is this Daniel Pierce? When grading this PS, Mr. Pierce gets solid credit for writing English well. He falls down in providing limited opportunity for a reader to understand why he will be a good lawyer, where he has shown leadership, when he has taken chances, how he failed in some situation, and recovered, learned lessons.

The best personal statements move the reader. The reader should know the student, like the student, want to meet in person. The reader should feel the student to be competent, thoughtful, and honest. The student’s writing should relate personal facts that demonstrate he, or she, is a leader who can communicate well with others, is open to new experiences, knows career path is law and is enthusiastic.

Aaron, 律政留学上海办公室负责人

我赞同Bari的观点，这篇PS选取了语言这个切入点，但是立意普通，至少说不高。但抛开这点，作者写得非常生动，一个单词链接首尾，细节充足。从这篇PS我们也可以看出，PS写作是可以用括号的，使用括号可以使句子结构简单化（比起从句），同时读起来也更加轻松活泼，有节奏。另外，这篇PS在谈语言的学习上逐步递进，层次分明，从兴趣，谈到理解，再到引用，最后引出why law。如果你的PS写的是某方面的兴趣的话，这种写法值得借鉴。

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