视听｜爱的七要素：你真的明白什么是爱吗？

爱是什么

这个问题看似简单却难以用语言表述清楚

想要回答就需要了解爱的哲学

是的，爱也是一门哲学

很多人一生都不懂爱是什么，更不懂如何去爱

看完这个视频，也许你能有所收获

——

What True Love Really Is

里面一

The world is sick for a surprisingly modest-sounding reason: we do not understand love, and yet we are rather convinced that we do. 

We talk a lot of love of course, but generally in terms of a dizzying① rapture② lasting for a few months focused on someone’s beauty, intelligence and strength. We have high ideals and refer with confidence to concepts like justice, equality and rights. and yet somehow in the mix, we avoid talking of the sort of love that would give true life to any of these. 

① dizzying: [ˈdɪziɪŋ] adj. making you feel dizzy, feeling unable to stand steadily. 令人晕眩的

② rapture: [ˈræptʃər] n. great excitement and happiness. 愉悦

We are law-abiding and righteous③ , but we are, in the grander sense, in the public square, without love. The most convincing definitions of love in the West have come from Jesus of Nazareth④ which has proved unfortunate, given how easy it is for rational types to confuse an overcoming or supernatural faith with the neglect of the subject of love. 

③ righteous: [ˈraɪtʃəs] adj. morally good and fair. 正直的

④ Jesus of Nazareth: [ˈdʒiːzəs əv ˈnæzərɪθ] phr. a teacher and prophet born in Bethlehem and active in Nazareth; his life and sermons form the basis for Christianity (circa 4 BC - AD 29). 拿撒勒的耶稣

To move forward, we require a new philosophy of love. In effect, a powerful, secular⑤ religion of love. This should be read out after the news and its tenants talk to CEOs and supply chain managers. We should put it on T-shirts, and it should be as common and more useful to say “I’m trying to learn to love.” as to announce a desire to become fit or famous. It’s no insult to have to acknowledge that even though we inhabit a culture soaked in romanticism, we have problems understanding love. 

⑤ secular: [ˈsekjələr] adj. not connected with or controlled by a church or other religious authority. 世俗的

And even though we have had plenty of crushes, and heard plenty of songs about love, we’re still taking our first steps towards grasping what love might actually be. Here then, are seven key, constituenting⑥ ingredients of love. 

⑥ constituenting: [kənstɪˈtʃuəntɪŋ] adj. being one of the parts of something. 组成的

Charity. Love means, above anything else, benevolence and gentleness towards what is failed, disgraced, broken, unappealing, angry and foul in other people and in ourselves. Love isn’t about an admiration for strength. It’s about directing sympathy in a most unexpected direction: at what is messed up, lost and in pieces, and at what we might hate, resent⑦ and be frightened of. Anyone can express an interest in perfection to love is to devote an active charity towards the mistakes and aberrations⑧. One day, we will all require the charity of others. In one way or another, we will be on our knees⑨ and we will need people to look past our evident failings in the tender search for our deeply hidden merits.

⑦ resent: [rɪˈzent] adj. to feel angry or upset about a situation or about something that someone has done, especially because you think that it is not fair. 愤恨

⑧ aberration: [ˌæbəˈreɪʃn] n. an action or event that is very different from what usually happens or what someone usually does. 异常的行为；反常行为

⑨ on one’s knees: 跪下；屈服；陷入困境

Imagination. To love with imagination is to look beneath the surface, where there may be rage, cynicism, brittleness or transgression⑩ , and to picture the suffering and pain that got a person to this place. To love with imagination is to fill in the better reasons why others are behaving as they are. Imaginative love knows that we are all somewhere desperate: it seeks out that desperation and treat it with sorrowful gentleness. 

⑩ transgression：[trænzˈgrɛʃən] n. something that is against the rules of social behavior or against a moral principle. 犯罪；罪过

Kindness. There are so many factors for social justice, so many people determined to make a better world. They denounce⑪ their enemies, and feel certain of their cause⑫, but along the way, they have a fateful habit of forgetting to be kind. In their denunciations of the evils of others, there is precious little mercy, humility, tenderness or grace. It is not enough to be right or just, to be kind is to know that everyone, even sinners⑬, and in a way, especially sinners, deserve ongoing sympathy and mercy. It is never simply because someone is wrong that we have any right to cease showing them the greatest kindness.

⑪ denounce: [dɪˈnaʊns] v. to express strong disapproval of someone or something, especially in public. 公开谴责

⑫ cause: [kɔːz] n. an aim, belief or organization that a group of people support or fight for. 事业；原则

⑬ sinner: [ˈsɪnər] n. someone who has sinned by not obeying God’s laws. 罪人

Forgiveness. To forgive is to know that we are in our own way, as guilty as the next person. Given what we all are, we have no option but to cut each other some slack. Of course we have failed and been hasty and less than admirable, but that is no reason forever to withhold love. We learn to forgive when we are no longer self-righteous, that is, when we are brave enough to fathom⑭ the darker sections of our own hearts.

⑭ fathom: [ˈfæðəm] v. to understand something means after thinking about it carefully. 彻底弄清；深刻理解

Loyalty. To love means being loyal to people (this could be ourselves) even though the crowd no longer agrees. Outside the mob may be jeering⑮, but we continue on the same side, with steadfastness and an unbudgeable⑯ resilient faith. 

⑮ jeer: [dʒɪr] v. to laugh at someone or shout unkind things at them in a way that shows you do not respect them. 嘲笑

⑯ unbudgeable: [ʌnˈbʌdʒəbəl] adj. not able to be budged or changed. 不可动摇的

Generosity. Love overflows. It isn’t about loving just one person, it encompasses the love of someone you have just met of strangers in another land of the earth, of plants, weevils, house bats and that moth by the window who might be dead by nightfall. 

Patience. We want others to meet our hopes right now. But true love means giving people the time to mature and develop, to go wrong, to wander in another direction, and not to shout at them but to give them every chance to grow at their own pace, towards their better selves. If we can believe wholeheartedly in some of the above, it won’t matter who we vote for or what out cause is, we can count as part of what is helping. 

We should be almost done with romantic love by now. We should be setting our sights on the challenge of this sort of love. Yet it’s not surprising if we are still only at the beginning, we’re just starting on the path to being human.

大连外国语大学高级翻译学院实习生

穆楠 整理

(Credit: marriage.com)

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