语言教学 | 普渡大学写作教学系列General Writing 34-Paramedic Method

提示：点击上方"英语写作教学与研究"免费关注哦

征稿：二语写作

Paramedic Method & Reverse Paramedic Method

Paramedic Method: A Lesson in Writing Concisely

Use the Paramedic Method (originally developed by Richard Lanham in Revising Prose) to edit any kind of professional writing. Editing your professional writing using the Paramedic Method will make your prose easier to read. Sentences that are easy to read are more persuasive and more user-centered.

Professional writers understand the need for clear, concise prose. An industry standard for helping workplace writers achieve user-centered, persuasive, and clear prose is the Paramedic Method. When you use the Paramedic Method, you will reduce your word count by eliminating unnecessary words. The Paramedic Method also helps you activate your sentences by eliminating passive voice and redundancies. The Paramedic Method is an easy to learn, systematic way to make your sentences more persuasive and more user-centered.

Follow the seven steps below to improve the readability of your sentences.

The Paramedic Method

1. Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)

2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms

3. Ask, "Where's the action?"

4. Change the "action" into a simple verb

5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)

6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups

7. Eliminate any redundancies.

Now You Try

Use the Paramedic Method in the sentences below to practice.

Use the Paramedic Method in the sentences below to practice making your sentences more concise. After you use the Paramedic Method on these sentences, check your results against the sentences at the bottom of this handout.

1. The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money.

2. It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years.

3. After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures.

Example Concise Solutions:

1. Employees at this company need a better money manager. (Original word count: 25. New word count: 9).

2. In recent years, engineers at Sandia Labs have participated in the Search and Rescue operations. (Original word count: 23. New word count: 15).

3. After reviewing the results of your research, and within the context of the study, we find evidence supporting significant changes in our operating procedures. (Original word count: 35. New word count: 24).

This handout adapted from a larger piece by Richard Johnson-Sheehan.

Reverse Paramedic Method

The paramedic method is an editing exercise originally described in Richard Lanham’s Revising Prose. The original exercise helps people recognize wordy sentences written in the passive voice. This adaptation reverses one purpose of the activity and assists in recognizing and implementing passive voice, which is often used in scientific writing. This reverse method should still help writers make sentences less wordy and more concise.

Activity

Prepare for the activity by asking students to bring in a sample of their writing from a current assignment, or provide students with the example below. Briefly explain the following grammar concepts:

1. Preposition: A preposition is any word or group of words that relates a noun or pronoun to another word in a sentence. Some common prepositions: about, after, among, behind, down up, from, of, off, past, before, underneath, with, above, during, beyond, in, since, until, within, according to, along, at beside, by except, into, on, through, up, without, across, amid, before, besides, concerning, for, like, over toward, upon.

2. “To be” or “is” verbs: These words describe the “states of being” of people or things in a sentence. Examples: is, was, has been, will be, are, become.

3. The “action” of the sentence: The action of the sentence describes what who is doing what to whom. For example, in the following sentence, the action would be “placed:” The team placed the gyroscope laterally.

4. Finding the subject: The subject of the sentence is the person or thing doing the action. In the following sentence, the subject is “the team.” “The team placed the gyroscope laterally.”

5. Windups: Windups are phrases, usually prepositional phrases, that set up an idea to be expressed in a sentence. Some windups are necessary or important to the meaning of the sentences they introduce, but others just make sentences wordy or unnecessarily complex. Deciding whether a windup is necessary or not depends on the context.

Examples of windups:

• “According to the results...”

• “In the next part of the lab...”

• “In order to understand X concept...”

6. Redundancies: redundancies are patterns or words that are repeated in a sentence. Using redundancies leads to awkward and lengthy sentences, which can make your sentences and your ideas hard to understand. The following sentence contains redundancies (was conducted, with):

"The experiment was conducted at 1330 GMT and was conducted with an increased basal rate with a double bolus."

Eliminating redundancies reduces word count and makes sentences easier to understand:

"The experiment was conducted at 1330 GMT using an increased basal rate and a double bolus."

7. Active and passive voice: Active voice is a structure of writing that emphasizes the doer and uses active verbs rather than forms of the verb "to be" (see above). Here is an example of a sentence written in active voice:

"Morgan Latour attended the baseball game."

The sentence above is constructed in the subject-verb-object pattern. Note that the doer (Morgan) precedes the verb (attended).

Passive voice does not emphasize the doer and may even use past tense. Passive voice is usually used in scientific writing because the emphasis is placed on what was done rather than on who did it. Here is an example of the same sentence written in passive voice:

"The baseball game was attended by Morgan Latour."

In some cases, the doer is not even mentioned in scientific writing:

"The experiment was conducted at 1330 GMT."

Once students appear to understand these basic concepts, get them started on the exercise. The purpose of this exercise is to teach students to emphasize the experiment rather than the researchers.

Procedure for the Reverse Paramedic Method

1. Circle the prepositions. Eliminate any unnecessary prepositions.

2. Identify any references to the researchers (the doer).

3. Replace references to the researchers with a passive construction that emphasizes the experiment (what was done).

4. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups.

5. Eliminate any redundancies.

Example before applying the reverse paramedic method:

• Original: In the following experiment, we used the feline cell line, W9, to evaluate cell growth in the presence of the growth factor.

• Revised: The feline cell line W9 was used to evaluate cell growth in the presence of growth factor.

• Original: During the procedure, we cultured the cells for 48 hours in media that we modified with 78, 80, 90, and 110 ng/mL BMP.

• Revised: Cells were cultured for 48 hours in media modified with 78, 80, 90, and 110 ng/mL BMP.

• Original: At 48 hours, we harvested cells from the cell culture dish and counted. We used a hemocytometer.

• Revised: At 48 hours, cells were harvested from the culture dish and counted using hemocytometer.

精彩推文回顾

• 语言教学 | 普渡大学写作教学系列General Writing 01-The Writing Process and List

• 语言教学 | 普渡大学写作教学系列General Writing 10-Thesis Statement