Blog: Experience of Indo-Chinese Wedding / 中国妹子嫁给印度哥哥是一种怎样的体验?

Following is the blog from Summer, who is now happily married to indian husband with one adorable child, We at IIC (Indians In China) would like to thank her for letting us post her blog about wedding experience and wish her lot of happpiness.

.以下这篇文章分享自Summer，一个嫁给了印度人的中国女孩。IIC非常感谢Summer愿意让我们在IIC文章里分享她和丈夫的婚姻趣事，希望他们永远幸福！

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总觉得我的婚姻可以写成段子，把自己乐的不行，也来和大家分享这份小欢乐。

I always feel that my marriage can be written as a piece, it always makes me laugh, that's why I'm going  to share this happiness with you.

从小到大，从来没有带男朋友见过父母，也不太和父母提起谈恋爱这方面的事情。记得第一次和爸妈提出我要结婚的事情，父母的第一反应，也是令我十分难忘，老爸说，”你说我们怎么这么倒霉啊， 我们上海嫁女儿都是要赚钱的。你给我找个印度人，印度人举办婚礼都是女方家出钱的，爸爸保险柜里的所有金条给你，也要不够啊，估计还是要被印度人看不起。” 事后想想老爸这种半开玩笑的回答，真是令我哭笑不得，也真心感谢父母对我这么个想到哪出是哪出的女儿的宽容与体谅。我们是标准闪婚，认识的所有朋友里似乎没有比我更闪的啦。事过一年，朋友们还都觉得很不真实，最不可能这么早结婚的我，现在竟然结婚且做妈妈了。虽然这个决定看似很唐突，但不知道什么样的力量（好老公！来来来拍个马屁）让我觉得这个决定灰常靠谱。我们生活在一个充满变数的世界里，没有一人或者一个决定能保证你一生的快乐，我们需要的是勇气去迎接一种新的生活状态，停止对永恒的崇拜，不要让顾虑和担忧阻碍你享受当下的快乐。

When I was little till when I have grown up. I have never bring my boyfriends to see my parents and I don't like to share my love affairs with them. I remember the first time I told my parents I will be getting marry soon,the first response I got from my parents made me very unforgettable. My dad said, "You say how we are so unlucky ? Shanghai wedding are meant to make money by marrying a man. You found an Indian? In Indian marriage woman need to pay for all the wedding fees.  Even thought I gave all the gold bars I kept in the safe box to you, that's not enough for the Indians to respect you." I think of my father's answer, it makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time, but I sincerely thank my parents for tolerance and understanding me. We were standard flash marriages, and the marriage between us was faster than all the acquaintances I knew . After a year, my friends also feel very unreal, the person most unlikely to have marriage that early now actually married and became a mother. Although this decision may seem abrupt, but I do not know what kind of strength (good husband! ) makes me think this decision is reliable. We live in a world full of variables, no one or any decision can ensure your happiness in life, we need the courage to meet a new state in life, stop the worship of eternity, do not let concerns hinder you from enjoying the moment of happiness.

这里科普一下，印度一般婚礼都会持续七天，宴请各路宾客，少则几百人，多则上千人的庆典。很多人会问，哪来的这么多亲朋好友，举个例子，基本上你同学的哥哥结婚，你也必须参加，不然就是不给面子。值得偷乐的是，去了不用给份子钱，美食，美酒，畅吃畅喝，兴致高了，拉上美女跳舞跳个通宵。而这所有的费用都是新娘家出钱。听老公说，女方家庭还会根据男方的学历，工作背景给出相应的嫁妆。你要是名牌大学毕业，有个较为不错的工作，随随便便收个法拉利当嫁妆应该没什么问题。

General knowlege here, India's general wedding will last seven days, banquet all kinds of guests, ranging from a few hundred people to as many as thousands of people come for celebration. Many people will ask, where did so many friends and relatives came from. For example, even your classmate's brother married, you must also participate, or that means you don't respect them. Every one will enjoy to go there because they don't need to pay any fees for food and wine. Just take a dip with high spirits, pull the beauty to dance all night long. And all this cost is from bride's money. My husband said that the woman's family will be based on the man's education background and job to give the appropriate dowry. If you graduate from a prestigious university, have a good job, receiving a Ferrari dowry should be no problem.

安排父母和老公的第一次见面，老爸说我们选个餐厅一家人一起吃吃饭，我说好啊。我爸随即又说，“那我还得请个翻译” 。我当时就醉了，我说“ 请什么翻译，我帮你们翻译一下不就好了”，老爸说“你的话我能信？！” 一句话把我打回来。我以为他只是冲冲我，开玩笑的。可是当天见面，老爸真的请了会说英文的好朋友王博士来坐阵。全程就是王博士和我老公聊天，老爸显摆了一点他对印度的了解，中间还穿插了”印度红帽阿三“这个说法的由来，他讲的头头是道，我也只好旁边尴尬地笑笑。经历过这种父母见面的好朋友安慰我说，无论你嫁给谁，你爸都会觉得“好好的白菜给猪拱了” 我想想也是，只能用比较文雅的方式给老公翻译了下。吃完饭也不知道老爸和王博士怎么沟通的，第一次摸底考试，老公给大家倒了几次茶，笑嘻嘻的，似乎轻轻松松过去关了。

The first meeting I arranged for my parents and husband, my dad told me to choose a restaurant to have a dinner, I said okay. My dad said, "Then I have to get a translator." I said, "Need a translator for what? I can translate for you." My father said, " You want me to believe in what you translated?" I thought he's making a joke. But on the meeting, my dad really invited  Dr. Wang a good friend who can speak English to sit with us. The whole time Dr. Wang was chatting with my husband. Dad wanted to show his knowlege of India.  He told us about how "Indian Red Hat Asan" this word came from. He talked like he really know the meaning, so I can only fake a smile at that time. My friend who had experience deling with parents before comforted me and said that no matter who you marry, your dad would think that "a good cabbage is a pig's arch." (Chinese Slang). I think so too. I can only translate my husband in a more elegant way. Do not know after dinner, What my parents talked with Dr. Wang, the first test from my parents, my husband poured tea a few times for eveyone, grinning, it seems he had easily pass it.

随后一个礼拜，我们来到了印度。见了老公的父母，哥哥，姐姐，侄子。婆婆是那种脾气特别温和，非常虔诚的印度教徒，看到我一个劲的夸我漂亮，我们说要结婚了，婆婆还激动的哭了。不知道为什么，第一次见到婆婆就觉得非常的和蔼可亲，瞬间就建立了亲情纽带。我本身就对婚礼没有任何期待，觉得就是个形式，请一堆七大姑八大姨做个样子给别人看，形式大于实质。但是来了印度，公婆似乎很坚持还是要办个仪式，毕竟不是自己爸妈，不好意思拒绝，就答应办个简单点的。第二天姐姐就带着我去挑了结婚穿的衣服，平时买衣服很挑，这次被五颜六色的礼服包围着，反而很果断的选了个喜庆的红色系，觉得公公婆婆应该喜欢。

A week later, we came to India. Meet my husband's parents, brother, sister,and  nephew. My mother-in-law was kind and gentle, very devout Hindu, when they saw me, they compliment my beauty. We said we are going to get marry, his mother was very excited and cried. Do not know why, the first time I saw my mother-in-law feel very amiable, instantly established a family ties. I have no expectations of the wedding itself, I feel that it is a formality , please a bunch of people to show off, the formality is greater than the essence. But when I came to India, my in-laws seem to insist that we need to do a ceremony. They are not my parents so i felt awkward to refuse, they promised to do a simple ceremony. His sister took me to pick a wedding dress the next day, I am usually buy very picky while buying clothes, this time I was surrounded by many colorful dresses, but I decisively chose a red for festival color that in-laws should like.

印度的婚礼很神奇是从晚上八点开始的，因为我们是简易版，所以都是自己家里人，整个准备的过程也相对简单，自己化个妆换上衣服，来到办婚礼的场所。到了现场傻眼了，老公的爸妈真是想的周到，因为我父母没去，他们竟然还帮我请了一对假爸假妈。我心想假爸假妈至少要黄皮肤吧，这对假爸假妈真的长得好印度啊。我们的婚礼更像是一个宗教仪式，在场的有公公，婆婆竟然不能参加，只能在家等着，还有我的假爸假妈，一名年长的祭祀和他的助理。全程我们围着一个火盆坐着，面前放着鲜花、米和一些印度甜点。六月的印度，36°的高温穿着一层一层的衣服，还要裹着一个被子一样的东西围着火炉转圈，你能明白我的感受吗？

India's wedding is amazing, it starts from 8pm, because the ceromony was a simple version, so the people came for the ceromony are all their own family. The whole preparation process is relatively simple, I just put on their own makeup and dress, came to the wedding venue. I was shocked when I went there,my husband's parents actually helped me find a pair of fake parents because my parents weren't there for the wedding (for kanyadan). I thought the fake parents should be at least yellow skin ,but this fake parent really look good Indian. Our wedding was more like a religious ceremony, my parents-in-law could not attend to the wedding. They could only waiting at home. With my fake parents, an elderly sacrifice and his assistant. We sat around a brazier with flowers, also there are rice and some Indian desserts in front of us. India in June, 36 ° high temperature wearing multilayers of clothes, also wrapped in a quilt spinning around the stove at the same thing. Can you know how I felt?

全程祭祀都在说着我听不懂的印度话，我一直处在半梦游状态，心想着什么时候能结束啊，还时不时给老公一个苦楚的眼神，他安慰到坚持坚持，快了快了。突然祭祀看向我，问了我一个问题，我一阵懵，老公翻译到“你父亲的名字？”我回答“沈xx“ 于是祭祀又说了句祷告词还很溜的说出了我老爹的中文民，我也是蛮佩服他的语言天分的。一会儿祭祀又问我，你爸爸的爸爸叫撒，我报出了爷爷的大名，猝不及防，祭祀突然问我你爸爸的爸爸的爸爸叫么？。。。我就想问问你们有几个知道。。没办法，我说不知道，然后祭祀有咕哝了几句。期间我真的热的不行，脑袋处于半昏迷状态，看看老公也是一脸无奈状，就偶尔和他扯扯问问他祭祀说啥？他给我翻译到，祭祀说"我的财产就是你的财产，包括我们家的牛羊。。。"我扑哧笑了。。"你的牛羊在哪带出来给我溜溜。。。"祭祀还说了“以后我赚的钱花的每一分钱都要经过你同意” “哈哈哈哈 这好，i totally agree!" 我俩就这么流着大汗，老不正经的东扯西扯，算是把这个富有宗教意义的神圣的结婚大事给办了。 。

During the whole ceromony they are talking in Hindi. I have been in a semi-sleepy state of mind, thinking about when this could end, not forget to send my husband a painful expression. He comforted to insist this, it would end soon. Suddenly the priest look at me and asked me a question, I was muddleheaded. My husband translated to me "your father's name?" I replied, "Shen xx". So the priest properly speak my dad's Chinese name in the pledge.I was quite admire his language talent, he can speak my dad's Chinese name without accents! What's your grandfather's name? Suddenly asked me what's my grandfather's name? I would like to know how many of you can remember that? No way, I said that I do not know, and then priest mumble a few words. I felt very hot during the ceromony, my head was like in semi-coma. I look at my husband, he look very helpless, so I asked him what did the priest said? He translated and said: "My property is your property, including our family's cattle and sheep ..." I chuckled. . "Find a day and bring your cow and sheep to me and let me take a look..." The priest also said, "Every penny I made afterwards need to go through your agreement." "Hahahaha, I totally agree!" With the heavy sweat flow, finally we were done on this meaningful wedding ceromony! 

办完这个仪式将近半夜十一二点，竟然还有buffet ,全家人还有一些客人一起吃饭，合影。全程都没有和我说话的假爸假妈带着我的假妹妹假弟弟来合影，合完影还不停的拍啊拍。后来家里人跟我说假爸爸把我们结婚的照片传到facebook 上，赞扬这对自由恋爱，跨越宗教种族的婚姻，几个小时就得到了几千个赞。看来印度的朋友们虽然七八成都是arranged marriage 讲究种性和家庭的匹配，但是对于自由恋爱和婚姻还是充满向往的。

After finishing the ceremony , it was around eleven o'clock in the middle of the night. There were still buffet,  our family and some guests are having meal together and take photos. My parents-in-law did not talk to me at all,but they bring my fake parents, fake siblings to take a photo, keep shooting for all the time. My family later told me that Fake dad uploded our marriage photo on Facebook and praised it.. Praising this marriage of freedom of love and religion.Only in few hours it received thousound of likes. It seems although 80% of Indians have arranged by parent, but they still yearn for freedom of love and religions.

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下边来个小小的互动，有人能猜出下面这个是干撒的吗？   结婚的时候夫妻双方戴在手上。（有把刀，难道是用来互相伤害的？ 哈哈哈）

After the story, let's get some interaction. Can anyone guess what this is use for? The couple wears on their hands,when they got married. (With a knife, is it used to hurt each other? Ha ha ha)

十一月，是印度的婚礼季，公路两旁都是举办婚礼的宴会场所。印度人对婚礼的重视绝对超乎你的想象。按照印度教的传统，一般婚礼都在晚上举行，直到第二天的天明。持续七天，每天都有不同的庆典。这对于新人的体力、精神挑战不小啊。要跳舞，要招呼宾客，又要完成各种宗教传统仪式，还连着七天，基本上是没法睡觉了。出席婚礼的宾客也是蛮辛苦的，上至七八十岁的老爷爷老奶奶，下至两三岁的小娃娃，各个都要熬到凌晨，要给足面子，要隆重着装，要嗨！！！🙃 我家侄子就很淡定地跟我说，这两个礼拜，他已经习惯了每天凌晨两三点睡觉，第二天五点起床。天啊，他才14岁啊，他需要保证每天8小时的睡眠吧。有天他说要去婚礼，我问谁的婚礼，他说我也不知道😔。所以你懂了吧，就是那种关系特别特别远的，你也必须参加，因为你不是一个人去参加婚礼，你代表着整个家族！所以一般印度婚礼，小型的都要两三百人，大型的上千人也属平常。

In November, it is the wedding season in India with banquets for weddings on both sides of the road. Indians value the wedding absolutely beyond your imagination. According to Hindu tradition, weddings are generally held in the evenings until the dawn in next day. For seven days, every day has a different celebration. This is a physical strength and spiritual challenge to new couples. They need to dance, to greet guests, also to complete religious traditions stuffs. Needs to last for 7 days, almost can't fall go to sleep. It's quite hard for the guests who attend in the wedding.  The oldest from seventies and eighties years old grandma, to the youngest  two or three years old babies. Each must stay up in the early morning, to show the best respect, to dress grandly, to get excited! ! ! My nephew told me camly that these two weeks, he got use to sleep on two or three in the midnight, get up next day in five am. God, he's only 14, and he needs to sleep eight hours a day. One day he said he need to go for a wedding, I asked who's going to marry. He said I do not know 😔. This means no matter the relationship is how far away, you have to participate in the wedding, because you represent the entire family! Therefore, the general Indian wedding, the smallest wedding is from two to three hundred people, largest wedding is up to thousands of people.

一直想感受印度婚礼的我，终于如愿以偿，去了老公同学弟弟的婚礼，真的是感慨脸皮够厚，八竿子打不着的关系，还玩的这么嗨

I always wanted to feel how Indian wedding is, I finally got my wish, I attended to my husband's classmate brother's wedding. I felt I'm unabshed, but who cares? I'm having fun in this.😁

晚间7点左右宾客陆续进场，没有签到和固定的餐位，自助餐的形式。服务生会端着餐盘，热情地询问客人需不需要各种前菜，我真的被问得不好意思，勉强吃了起来。

Around 7 o'clock in the evening guests came into party. They didn't need to sign and didn't have a puticular place where they should have seat. It was a buffet form. The waiter will carry the plate, warmly asks guests if they need appetizers.

晚上11点，新郎骑着白马如约而至啦，音乐响起，大家嗨起来！别问我新娘在哪里，还没等到，我就回家奶娃了。

At 11 p.m., the groom rides the white horse, and the music played, and everyone awoke! Do not ask where my bride is, I have to go home and feed my baby before she arrived!

新郎的姐夫带领围观的亲朋好友们跳起舞来，节奏感真的很强啊，男女老少们一起放飞自我。

Groom's brother-in-law led the crowd of friends and family to dance, the sense of rhythm is really strong, men and women and children dances together to have fun.

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=z1330xasb4t&width=500&height=375&auto=0

看看这个炫酷的婚礼场所，分分秒秒闪瞎眼。

Take a look at this cool wedding venue, blink your eyes off.

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=v13303f9pbd&width=500&height=375&auto=0

我也很花心思的让自己Blingbling起来，但是完全被后面那个吃货抢了风头。。待了两个礼拜胖了6斤的人，可见一斑🤣。

I also want my self to be "Blingbling" but the foodie at the back steal the attention. Staying for two weeks, we've got 8 pounds!

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=m1330ua06vl&width=500&height=375&auto=0

Source: DailyMasala

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