谷爱凌：我承认，我爱上了恐惧

LearnAndRecord 2022-07-26

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今天，北京冬奥会自由式滑雪女子大跳台决赛，谷爱凌（Eileen Gu）凭借93.75、88.5、94.5三跳获得金牌！

无注释原文：

How Eileen Gu, Olympic Freeskier, Manages Fear

The New York Times

Eileen Gu is only 18. Born and raised in California, Gu competes for her mother’s native China, where she hopes to win three gold medals: in halfpipe, slopestyle and big air.

Gu’s relationship to fear is evolving. She thinks about it a lot. She keeps a diary, and some of her handwritten entries, she said, are devoted to the subject of fear, in all its forms.

At the request of The New York Times, Gu wrote down her thoughts on fear — how she views it, how she manages it, how she hopes to conquer it.

Essay by Eileen Gu

FOR THE LAST 10 OF MY 18 YEARS, I’ve pursued a tumultuous love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline, the truly addictive core of extreme sports.

Like all bewitching lovers (at least the ones in the novels I read, for lack of real-world experience), this significant other can be … mercurial. “Fear” is really an umbrella term for three distinct sensations: excitement, uncertainty, and pressure. I’ve learned that the nuanced indicators of each of these feelings can be instrumental to success when recognized and positively leveraged, and harbingers of injury when ignored.

Though it’s easy to label extreme sport athletes as fearless or capricious, the countless hours I’ve spent visualizing tricks and practicing them in foam pits (foam. particles. everywhere) and on airbags (think giant Slip ’N Slide) suggest otherwise. It’s biologically counterintuitive for us to place ourselves in positions of risk, and while we make every effort to physically prepare, no amount of metaphorically safety-netted practice can equate to the unforgiving snow slope that rushes up to meet us after a steep kicker launches us into the air. Instead of ignoring fear, we build unique relationships with it by developing a profound sense of self-awareness and making deliberate risk assessments.

The work begins with visualization. Before I attempt a new trick, I feel a tightening high in my chest, between the base of my throat and the top of my diaphragm. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. As I ascend the gargantuan takeoff ramp, I imagine extending my legs to maximize lift. Then I picture twisting my upper body in the opposite direction I intend to spin, generating torque before I allow it to snap back the other way.

Now, in my mind, I’m airborne. I see the backside of the takeoff immediately, then my flip draws my vision to the cloudless sky above me. My ears register the wind as a kind of song, every 360-degree rotation providing the beat to the music of my motion. As my feet come under me halfway through, I spot the landing for the briefest of moments before I pull my body into the second flip. I imagine my legs swinging under me as I return to a forward-facing position and meet the ground with my weight in the front of my boots. 1440 degrees. I smile. Then I open my eyes.

In the split second following my visualization, the knot in my chest flutters and spreads — those famous butterflies reaching their final stage of metamorphosis. Excitement, the child of adrenaline, my true love and addiction. That tantalizingly precarious balance between confidence in my ability to execute the trick safely and excitement for the unpredictable experience to come. I’ve heard this state called “the zone,” which is indeed where I was when I became the first female skier in history to land the double cork 1440 last fall.

It doesn’t take much, unfortunately, for uncertainty to override confidence. Imperfect preparation moistens my palms, pushes that tight spot down into my stomach and makes each breath shallower than the last. The feeling isn’t panic, but something like dread. Danger! cries every evolutionary instinct. If I should choose to look past this safety mechanism, my body may act autonomously in the air, twisting out of the rotation and forcing me to brace for impact out of fear that full commitment to the trick may end in disaster. Every freeskier’s goal is to recognize the minute differences between excitement and uncertainty in order to maximize performance while minimizing the risk of injury.

Finally, there’s pressure, an energy source that can be wielded in many ways. One’s experience of pressure — by far the most subjective facet of “fear” — is affected by personal experiences and perspectives. Expectations of family and friends, a competitive streak, or even sponsorship opportunities can provide the scaffolding for a high-pressure environment. Pressure can be a positive force for competitors who leverage it to rise to the occasion, but it can also single-handedly dictate competitive failure.

But whether athletes alleviate or compound their innate desire to “prove themselves” depends largely on confidence. As I enter my early adulthood, I’m proud of the work I’ve done to cope with pressure by bolstering my self-esteem and minimizing my need for external validation. I focus on gratitude, perspective, and on the joy this sport brings me, regardless of whether I’m alone or in front of a worldwide TV audience. Though my views of myself and the world are constantly evolving, one thing is for certain: no matter how much time passes, I’ll always be a hopeless romantic when it comes to fear.

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注：中文文本为纽约时报官方译文，仅供参考

含注释全文：

How Eileen Gu, Olympic Freeskier, Manages Fear 谷爱凌：我承认，我爱上了恐惧

The New York Times

Eileen Gu is only 18. Born and raised in California, Gu competes for her mother's native China, where she hopes to win three gold medals: in halfpipe, slopestyle and big air.

谷爱凌（Eileen Gu）只有18岁。生长于加利福尼亚（California）的她，为母亲的祖国中国出征，有望在北京拿下自由式滑雪U型场地技巧赛、坡面障碍技巧赛和女子大跳台的三枚金牌。（本文中文版发表时，谷爱凌已经在女子大跳台比赛中获得冠军。——编注）

halfpipe

表示“（滑板或滑雪板使用的）U 形场地”，英文解释为“a U-shaped structure on which people skateboard, snowboard, etc.”

slopestyle

Slopestyle is a winter sport in which athletes ski or snowboard down a course including a variety of obstacles including rails, jumps and other terrain park features. 坡面障碍技巧是一项冬季滑雪运动，在这项运动中，运动员在各种有障碍物的赛道上滑雪或单板滑雪。

📍一鸣惊人！苏翊鸣文中也提到：The 17-year-old snowboarder emerged as the highest scorer in the men's slopestyle qualification runs at the Beijing Winter Games, advancing to Monday's final with top billing. 这位17岁的单板滑雪运动员成为北京冬奥会单板滑雪男子坡面障碍资格赛（slopestyle qualification runs）中得分最高的选手，以第一名的成绩晋级周一的决赛。

big air

表示“大跳台（项目）”，自由式滑雪大跳台是北京2022年冬奥会竞技项目之一，是自由式滑雪大项中的分支，也是7个冬奥会新增设项目之一。

Gu's relationship to fear is evolving. She thinks about it a lot. She keeps a diary, and some of her handwritten entries, she said, are devoted to the subject of fear, in all its forms.

谷爱凌与恐惧的关系是不断变化的。她总会想到恐惧。她习惯写日记，她说，自己手写下的一些主题就是关于各种形式的恐惧。

evolve

表示“（使）逐渐形成，逐步发展，逐渐演变，进化”，英文解释为“to develop gradually, especially from a simple to a more complicated form; to develop sth in this way”举个🌰：

The company has evolved into a major chemical manufacturer.

这家公司已逐步发展成一个主要的化工厂。

At the request of The New York Times, Gu wrote down her thoughts on fear — how she views it, how she manages it, how she hopes to conquer it.

应《纽约时报》（The New York Times）邀请，谷爱凌写下了她的恐惧观——她如何看待恐惧，如何应对恐惧，以及她希望如何战胜恐惧。

conquer

表示“占领；攻取；征服；击败”，英文解释为“to take control or possession of foreign land, or a group of people, by force”举个🌰：

The Spanish conquered the New World in the 16th century.

西班牙人在16世纪征服了新大陆。

Essay by Eileen Gu

撰文：谷爱凌

FOR THE LAST 10 OF MY 18 YEARS, I've pursued a tumultuous love affair with fear. I’m a professional freeskier, and twin-tipped skis, 22-foot halfpipes and double-cork rotations are my main sources of adrenaline, the truly addictive core of extreme sports.

在我18年人生中的后10年，我都与恐惧进行了一场动荡不安的恋爱。我是一名职业自由式滑雪运动员，双尖滑雪板、22英尺高的U型池和转体两周的动作就是我肾上腺素的主要来源，那是极限运动真正令人着迷的内核。

tumultuous

tumultuous /tjuːˈmʌltjʊəs/ 1）表示“动荡的；狂暴的”，英文解释为“involving a lot of change and confusion and/or violence”，如：the tumultuous years 动乱年代；

2）表示“嘈杂的；喧嚣的；热烈的；欢腾的”，英文解释为“very loud; involving strong feelings, especially feelings of approval”，如：tumultuous applause 热烈的欢呼声，a tumultuous reception/welcome 热情的接待/热烈的欢迎。

adrenaline

adrenaline /əˈdrenəlɪn/ = adrenalin 表示“肾上腺素”，英文解释为“a hormone produced by the body, for example when you are frightened, angry, or excited, that makes the heart beat faster and prepares the body to react to danger”举个🌰：

These arguments always get my adrenalin going (= make me excited or angry).

这些争论总是让我肾上腺素上升（让我激动或恼怒）。

就像所有让人迷恋的情人一样（由于缺乏现实经验，至少是我在小说里读到的那种），这位重要的另一半可能是……善变的。“恐惧”实际上概括了三种不同的感官体验：兴奋、不确定性和压力。我已经明白，如果意识到并积极利用这每一种感官中的微妙指示，会对成功有帮助；如果忽视它们，往往就是受伤的先兆。

bewitching

表示“迷人的，令人销魂的”，英文解释为“so beautiful or attractive that you cannot think about anything else”举个🌰：

He was mesmerized by her bewitching green eyes.

他被她那双勾人魂魄的碧眼迷住了。

mercurial

mercurial /mɝːˈkjʊr.i.əl/ 表示“多变的，反复无常的”，英文解释为“changing suddenly and often”如：a mercurial temperament 易变的性情。

sensation

1）表示“轰动；哗然；引起轰动的人（或事物）”，英文解释为“very great surprise, excitement, or interest among a lot of people; the person or the thing that causes this surprise”举个🌰：

The band became a sensation overnight.

一夜之间，这支乐队名声大振。

📍此前，戳爷Troye Sivan被传已分手数月？文中出现过，pop sensation可以理解为“流行巨星”，“流行天王”。还有，63岁中国爷爷成油管网红文中标题就是Master carpenter's ancient Chinese skills are a YouTube sensation.

2）作可数名词，还可以表示“感觉；知觉”，英文解释为“a feeling that you get when sth affects your body”，如：a tingling/burning sensation 刺痛/烧灼的感觉。

3）作不可数名词，可以表示“感觉能力；知觉能力”，英文解释为“the ability to feel through your sense of touch”，举个🌰：

She seemed to have lost all sensation in her arms.

她的两条胳膊好像完全失去知觉了。

🎬电影《困在爱中》（Stuck in Love）中的台词提到：I was overcome by the oddest sensation. 我像是被一种怪异的冲动（感觉）驱使着。

nuanced

nuanced 这里是形容词，是由它的名词nuance /njuːˈɑːns/派生而来，表示“（在外表、意义、感觉、声音等上）有细微差別的”举个🌰：

Opinion polls tell a more nuanced story.

民意调查中可以发现更微妙的结果。

leverage

leverage /ˈliːvərɪdʒ/ 表示“利用”，英文解释为“to use something that you already have in order to achieve something new or better”，举个🌰：

We can gain a market advantage by leveraging our partners.

我们可以利用我们的合作伙伴来获得市场优势。

补充：

📍leverage作动词还有“举债经营”的含义，英文解释为“to use borrowed money to buy an investment or company”，举个🌰：

They can leverage a very small investment into millions of dollars.

他们可以把很小的一笔投资变成数百万美元。

📍“举债经营”指以借得的资本从事投资活动以期获得大于利息的利润。

harbinger

表示“（常指坏的）预兆，兆头”，英文解释为“a sign that shows that sth is going to happen soon, often sth bad”举个🌰：

The November air stung my cheeks, a harbinger of winter.

11月的空气刺痛了我的脸颊，这是冬天要来的先兆。

虽然极限运动员很容易被贴上无畏或不走寻常路的标签，但其实，我曾花无数个小时在海绵池（填满了泡沫和颗粒）和气垫上（想象一种巨型的Slip ’N Slide滑水道）想象做那些技巧动作的画面，并进行练习。把自己置于危险境地从生理上说是违背天性的，虽然我们尽一切努力做好了身体状态上的准备，但再多的所谓安全训练，也不能与无情的雪坡相提并论，在一个剧烈颠簸将我们抛入空中之后，它就直奔我们而来。我们不是忽视恐惧，而是通过探索深刻的自我意识和深思熟虑的风险评估，与恐惧建立独特的关系。

label

表示“贴标签；（尤指不公正地）把…称为”，英文解释为“to describe sb/sth in a particular way, especially unfairly”举个🌰：

He was labelled (as) a traitor by his former colleagues.

他被以前的同事称为叛徒。

capricious

capricious /kəˈprɪʃ.əs/ 表示“反复无常的”，英文解释为“changing mood or behaviour suddenly and unexpectedly”如：a capricious child 任性的小孩

equate to

表示“相当于；等于”，英文解释为“to be equal to sth else”举个🌰：

A $5 000 raise equates to 25%.

提薪5 000元相当于增加了25%。

补充：

equate表示“将…等同于；等同于”，英文解释为“If you equate one thing with another, or if you say that one thing equates with another, you believe that they are strongly connected.”举个🌰：

I'm always wary of men wearing suits, as I equate this with power and authority.

我总是提防着穿制服的人，因为我将其等同于权力及权威。

The author doesn't equate liberalism and conservatism.

该作者没有将自由主义等同于保守主义。

这个过程先从想象那个画面开始。在尝试一个新技巧之前，我喉咙底部和膈肌顶部之间的胸口会升起一阵紧张。我深吸一口气，闭上眼睛。我想象着在巨型起跳坡道中上升，伸展双腿以将腾空升力最大化。然后，我看到自己反向扭转上半身，做出我想要的翻转动作，产生力矩，直到我再让身体从另一个方向转回来。

gargantuan

gargantuan /ɡɑːrˈɡæn.tʃu.ən/ 表示“巨大的，庞大的”，英文解释为“very large”如：a problem of gargantuan proportions 非常严重的问题

ramp

表示“（人造）斜坡，坡道”，英文解释为“an artificial slope”举个🌰：

I pushed the wheelchair up the ramp and into the supermarket.

我沿坡道把轮椅推进了超市。

spin

表示“（使）（尤指快速）旋转”，英文解释为“to (cause to) turn around and around, especially fast”举个🌰：

The earth spins on its axis.

地球绕地轴旋转。

torque

torque /tɔːrk/ 表示“扭转力”，英文解释为“a force that causes something to rotate (= turn in a circle)”

snap back

表示“迅速弹回；迅速转向”，英文解释为“a sudden rebound or change in direction”。

现在，在我的脑海里，我已经飞了起来。我可以在看到起跳点的背面之后，立刻转体将视线投向头顶万里无云的天空。在我听来，风也是一种音乐，每次360度转体都为我的动作带来了音乐节拍。当我的双脚在中途落下，我将身体转入第二个空翻前的一瞬间，我看到了落地点。我想象着双腿不断摆动，身体回到面向前方的姿势，将重心放在靴子前头着地。转体四周。我面带微笑。然后睁开眼睛。

swing

1）作名词，表示“秋千”，英文解释为“a seat for swinging on, hung from above on ropes or chains”；

2）表示“摆动；挥动；转动；强劲节奏”，英文解释为“a swinging movement or rhythm”，举个🌰：

He took a wild swing at the ball.

他对准球猛地挥拍一击。

3）表示“改变；改变的程度”，英文解释为“a change from one opinion or situation to another; the amount by which sth changes”，举个🌰：

Voting showed a 25% swing to him.

投票显示25%的人转而支持他。

想象结束后的一刹那，堵在我胸口的疙瘩终于扑腾着舒展开来——就像化茧成蝶那著名的蜕变终章。随着肾上腺素而来的兴奋，就是我真正热爱和沉迷的东西。对安稳完成动作的自信，对即将到来的未知体验的兴奋，这两者之间那种摇摇欲坠的平衡让我欲罢不能。我听说这种状态被称为“化境”(the zone)，去年秋天，当我成为历史上第一个完成前空翻两周加转体四周的女性滑雪运动员时，我的确进入了那样的状态。

flutter

1）表示“（使）飘动，挥动，颤动”，英文解释为“to move lightly and quickly; to make sth move in this way”举个🌰：

Flags fluttered in the breeze.

旗帜在微风中飘扬。

2）表示“（心）怦怦乱跳；（胃）颤动”，英文解释为“If your heart or stomach flutters, you feel slightly uncomfortable because you are excited or nervous.”举个🌰：

Every time I think about my exams my stomach flutters!

每次一想到考试，我心里就不舒服！

🎬电影《环游地球八十天》（Around the World in 80 Days）中的台词提到：And sometimes, when she's... concentrating on her latest work, her ears will actually flutter. 有时候她在专注于她的作品的时候耳朵会颤动。

🎬电影《精灵鼠小弟2》（Stuart Little 2）中的台词提到：His whiskers fluttering in the breeze. 他的小胡须随风飘动。

metamorphosis

metamorphosis /ˌmet̬.əˈmɔːr.fə.sɪs/ 1）表示“彻底的变化”，英文解释为“a complete change”举个🌰：

Under the new editor, the magazine has undergone a metamorphosis.

在新主编的领导下，这份杂志彻底改头换面了。

2）表示“变态，蜕变”，英文解释为“the process by which the young form of insects and some animals, such as frogs, develops into the adult form”

precarious

表示“（形势）不稳定的，不确定的，危险的”，英文解释为“A precarious situation is likely to get worse.”举个🌰：

Many borrowers now find themselves caught in a precarious financial position.

许多借款人现在发现自己陷入了不稳定的财务状况。

It doesn’t take much, unfortunately, for uncertainty to override confidence. Imperfect preparation moistens my palms, pushes that tight spot down into my stomach and makes each breath shallower than the last. The feeling isn't panic, but something like dread. Danger! cries every evolutionary instinct. If I should choose to look past this safety mechanism, my body may act autonomously in the air, twisting out of the rotation and forcing me to brace for impact out of fear that full commitment to the trick may end in disaster. Every freeskier’s goal is to recognize the minute differences between excitement and uncertainty in order to maximize performance while minimizing the risk of injury.

遗憾的是，犹豫往往很容易将信心压倒。没有尽善尽美的准备，我会掌心出汗，把那个紧张的疙瘩咽进肚子，使得每一次呼吸都愈发困难。那种感觉并非慌张，而是某种类似于畏惧的东西。每一个进化的本能都在呼喊，危险！若是我选择性地忽略这个安全机制，那我的身体或许就会在空中不受控制，转体变形，让我不得不出于恐惧为落地的冲击做好准备，因为全身心投入这样的动作可能会以灾难告终。每一位自由式滑雪运动员的终极目的，就是要认清兴奋和不确定性之间的细微差别，这样才能在拿出最佳表现的同时，最大限度地降低受伤风险。

override

表示“比…更重要；压倒；凌驾”，英文解释为“to be more important than something”举个🌰：

Parents' concern for their children's future often overrides all their other concerns.

父母对子女未来的考虑往往重于他们对其他任何事情的关心。

moisten

表示“弄湿，沾湿；（使）变潮湿”，英文解释为“to make something slightly wet or to become slightly wet”举个🌰：

Moisten the cloth before using it to clean glass.

用布擦玻璃前先把布弄湿。

palm

palm /pɑːm/ 表示“手掌，手心”，英文解释为“the inside part of your hand from your wrist to the base of your fingers”举个🌰：

This tiny device fits into the palm of your hand.

这种微型装置可以放入你的掌心。

minute

熟词僻义，作形容词，表示“微小的，极小的”，英文解释为“extremely small”，如：a minute amount/quantity 微量/少量，举个🌰：

The documentary showed an eye operation in minute detail (= showing every small detail).

这部纪录片纤毫毕现地展示了一次眼科手术的过程。

最后，还有压力这一有着多种释放形式的动力源泉。一个人的压力体验——显然它是“恐惧”最主观的一面——会受个人经历和观念的影响。亲朋好友的期望、竞争的冲动、甚至是赞助的机会，都可能制造出高压环境。对于能克服压力的斗士来说，压力可能是一种积极的力量，但压力也可能成为失利的决定性因素。

wield

wield /wiːld/ 1）表示“拥有，运用，行使，支配（权力等）”，英文解释为“to have and use power, authority, etc.”举个🌰：

He wields little power at the company.

他在公司内没有什么权力。

2）表示“挥，操，使用（武器、工具等）”，英文解释为“to hold sth, ready to use it as a weapon or tool”举个🌰：

He was wielding a large knife.

他挥舞着一把大刀。

🎬电影《灵魂战车2：复仇时刻》（Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance）中的台词提到：can wield the power, without burning itself up. 可以支配力量但不伤及自身。

🎬电影《神奇女侠》（Wonder Woman）中的台词提到：Who would wield it? 谁能够使用呢/谁会挥舞它呢？

🎬电影《诸神之战》（Clash of the Titans）中的台词提到：You vowed to your wife you'd never let Helius wield a sword. 你曾对你的妻子发誓你永远不会让赫利俄斯使用武器。

scaffolding

scaffolding /ˈskæfəldɪŋ/ 原意表示“脚手架；建筑架；鹰架”，英文解释为“Scaffolding consists of poles and boards made into a temporary framework that is used by workers when they are painting, repairing, or building high parts of a building, usually outside.”

rise to the occasion/challenge

表示“成功应对困难；临危不乱”，英文解释为“to show that you can deal with a difficult situation successfully”举个🌰：

In the exam she rose to the occasion and wrote a brilliant essay.

在考试中，她临场发挥写出了一篇非常出色的文章。

dictate

表示“影响；决定；要求”，英文解释为“to influence something or make it necessary”举个🌰：I wanted to take a year off, but my financial situation dictated that I got a job.

我想休息一年，但我的经济状况却迫使我必须工作。

然而，运动员能否抑制或是增强“证明自己”的天生欲望，很大程度上取决于信心。随着步入成年，我能够依靠提升自尊和减少对外界认可的需求来应对压力，对此我感到十分自豪。无论是一个人独处，还是面对全世界的观众，我都专注于感恩、观察、以及这项运动带给我的快乐。虽然我对自己和世界的看法在不断变化，但有一点是肯定的：无论时间如何流逝，面对恐惧，我总是一个无可救药的浪漫主义者。

alleviate

alleviate表示“减轻；缓和，缓解”，英文解释为“to make something bad such as pain or problems less severe”举个🌰：

The drugs did nothing to alleviate her pain/suffering.

这些药物对减轻她的病痛／痛苦没有丝毫作用。

📍2018年政府工作报告中提到：产业扶贫 alleviate poverty through the development of local industries；生态扶贫 alleviate poverty through the development and conservation of local ecological resources；

compound

表示“使加重，使加剧，使恶化”，英文解释为“to make a problem or difficult situation worse”举个🌰：

Her terror was compounded by the feeling that she was being watched.

她有种被人监视的感觉，这加剧了她的恐惧感。

innate

1）表示“（素质）天生的，与生俱来的”，英文解释为“an innate quality or ability is something you are born with”，举个🌰：

Children have an innate ability to learn language.

儿童学习语言的能力是与生俱来的。

2）表示“（信仰）根深蒂固的”，英文解释为“an innate belief is something you feel strongly about and are unlikely to change”，如：the innate conservatism of the farming community 农业社区固有的保守主义。

📍《经济学人》（The Economist）一篇讲述判断力问题的文章中提到：Some people think that good judgment is innate. 有些人认为良好的判断力是与生俱来的。

bolster

表示“支撑；加固；提高；改善；加强”，英文解释为“to improve sth or make it stronger”，如：to bolster sb's confidence/courage/morale 增加某人的信心/勇气/士气，举个🌰：

Hopes of an early cut in interest rates bolstered confidence.

提前降低利率的希望增强了信心。

🎬电影《塞尔拉·伯格斯是废柴》（Sierra Burgess Is a Loser）中的台词提到：I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to bolster my resume. 想问问对提升我的简历你有没有什么意见？

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