如何善巧的在我们日常生活中设立边界和限度？
修行路上，维安与你结伴同行
点击上方蓝色字关注正念小站
主页君又把自己的偶像请来啦。無一禅友是主页君在缅甸雪吴敏禅修中心有幸认识的一位资深禅修者，主页君是無一禅友的忠实粉丝。哈哈，非常开心，無一又和我们分享她的禅修经验。文章是用英文写的，主页君翻的中文。
無一禅友之前分享的在日常生活中训练禅修的方法，以及如何通过个人特长和兴趣来增上我们的练习，文章链接在文末。
此处需要掌声~~
当德加尼亚禅师还是一位居士时，他多守了三条关于正语的戒律，因为他深知这会给他的修行——即培育善心带来收益。
在我个人的修行里，我模仿了德师的例子，并设计了属于我自己的训练。目前，我发现这些训练对我的修行帮助巨大。具体来说，我选了以下会有收益的三个方面：
第一、遵守正语
总体来说，心会问以下几个问题：
这话语会带来和谐还是分裂？
现在是说话的好时候？合适的时间吗？合适的观众吗？
我是谈这个话题合适的人选吗？
大约九个月前，我加了一条额外的正语训练，即不要因为好奇心或其他原因致使他人违反有关正语的戒律。
第二、设立限度
当我可以得到很多东西时或别人给我东西时，我给自己设立了一个数量的限度，不拿多过三件东西。
第三、区别“想要”和“需要”
由于个人情况，在我每月花销预算减少后，我对“想要”和“需要”的觉知大大提高了，贪心也大量减少了。
因为每一个人是不同的，没有一个适合所有人的公式。每个人都应该去调查他/她的心应该在哪方面去训练。通常来说，这需要在心已经观察自身很久后，并了解什么带来善与不善。也就是说，智慧应该引导决定，而不是简简单单盲目的或机械的去做某事（例如，应该/不应该，必须/必须不，要/不要）。
英文原文如下：
While Sayadaw U Tejaniya was a lay person, he followed 3 extra speech precepts because his mind knew that it would bring benefits to his practice: developing the good qualities of mind.
In my practice, I have followed Sayadaw's example and have designed my own training exercises. Thus far, I have found these training tremendously helpful for my own practice. Specifically, I target 3 areas that my mind knows are beneficial:
1. Observing the SpeechPrecept
Typically, here are the questions my mind asks itself:
- Will it bring harmony or division?
- Is it the right place? right time? right audience?
- Am I the right person to talk about "this"?
About 9 months ago, I added a new speech training, which is,
Not to put another person at risk of breaking his/her speech precept out of inquisitiveness or other reasons.
2. Practicing Restraints
When I can take something freely or when I am being offered something, I place a limit on what I will take (no more than 3 of any items).
3. Discerning Wants from Needs
After reducing the budget of my monthly expenses (due to personal situation), the awareness of "wants" vs "needs" heightens, and the amount of greed has gone down.
As each person is different, there is no one size fits all. Each person needs to investigate the areas which his/her mind feels that it should work on. This usually happens after the mind has observed itself for a while and has understood what brings about wholesomeness and what doesn't. In short, the decision is driven by wisdom, not by doing something blindly or mechanically (e.g. should/shouldn't, must/mustn't, ought/oughtn't).
無一禅友的其他文章：
小站相关文章：
禅修中的进步指的是什么？德加尼亚禅师小参摘录2017.12.1
更多德师的教学内容请点击
查看小站的更多内容请点击