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7月13日,美国白宫圆桌会议。针对有人拿美国确诊数说事儿,特朗普不干了:现在我们检测4500万次,有这么多确诊。如果检测少一半,病例也会少一半,如果检测量是一半的一半,病例则会再少一半。





Coronavirus. The only thing in 2020 that still hasn't been canceled. Yesterday New York City recorded zero Covid-19 deaths for the first time since March. And that's truly amazing news, guys. 


Because if this continues, then hopefully New Yorkers can get back to dying from their usual things. You know? Like being kicked in the throat by a subway dancer. But unfortunately, across the rest of America, things are worse than ever. 


Breaking news tonight: staggering numbers out of Florida. More than 15,000 Covid cases confirmed in just one day. 


REPORTER: Miami-Dade hospitals are at 94% ICU capacity, with the mayor confirming six are now full. If the Sunshine State were its own country, it would rank fourth-highest in the world for new Covid cases. 


REPORTER 2: In Texas, confirmed cases continue to climb. Nearly 6,000 reported today. Hard-hit Michigan now seeing an uptick in cases after hundreds attended July 4th lake parties. 


REPORTER 3: And we've seen the stunning images of testing lines stretching for miles. Thousands waiting weeks for results in Arizona, some labs facing a 30-day backlog. 13 states are reporting testing problems. You know, I don't know what is worse, honestly. The fact that so many states reopened too early or the fact that they are now facing problems that should have been solved months ago. 


Surging cases, PPE shortages, testing back logs-- these are all the same problems America was dealing with back in March. So, clearly, other than coronavirus getting a summer tan, nothing has changed. And these states saw what happened in New York. They saw it happen here months ago. They had time to prepare. And they're still not handling it right? You know in a horror movie when the teenagers run upstairs, away from the killer, instead of running outside? 


This is like if they didn't even run, they just stayed on the couch watching TV. Oh, where's Darren? He's dead. All right, what's the next episode? I mean, at this rate, America's gonna solve its testing issues eight or nine months after we have a vaccine. 


And while hospitals are filling up and more people are getting sick, Mickey Mouse has decided that: "The show must go on." Disney welcomed guests back to the most magical place on Earth Saturday, the biggest test yet of a major corporation opening its doors in the middle of a pandemic. 


NEWSWOMAN 2: There are strict safety and social-distancing protocols. Visitors are required to wear masks and will hear this message. 


MAN: For the health and safety of everyone, please wear a face covering, wash your hands often and thoroughly, cover your mouth and nose when coughing and sneezing and maintain physical distancing. Thank you for your cooperation. 


Basically what we're saying is, "Why are you at Disney World, dumbass?" It's crazy that we're in the middle of a pandemic that killed hundreds of thousands of people, and there are still folks out there like, "Life isn't scary enough. Let's-let's go on a roller coaster." I mean, look, when my time comes, my time comes. But I'm going to do all I can to make sure that my obituary doesn't say, "Cause of death-- Space Mountain." And this isn't just dangerous for the visitors. 


Think about the risk this poses to all of the Disney employees. I mean, the safest job they have right now is the one inside a 200-degree rat costume. Like, what dad is so cheap that this vacation is worth the risk? "Honey, it's 15% off Disney tickets." "But Harry, isn't there a pandemic right now?" "15% off. "You go get the kids. I'm gonna load the van." 


Now Mickey Mouse isn't the only cartoon character people have been imploring to take the coronavirus a little more seriously, because for months now, people have also been begging President Trump to at least lead by example and wear a mask in public. And for months, he has flat-out refused. But then, this happened. Breaking news tonight. A huge shift for President Trump-- wearing a mask in public. 


NEWSWOMAN: Six months into the coronavirus pandemic, and President Trump finally wore a mask for the first time in public. He did so while visiting Walter Reed Medical Center this weekend. 


NEWSMAN 2: This image again about the president wearing the mask will stick out to a lot of people in the days and weeks ahead. Okay, guys, I don't know about you, but I think this is the day Donald Trump finally became president. And look, I'm glad that Trump finally put a mask on, but it's got to be confusing for his supporters who have been mocking face masks this whole time. 


I mean, to them, this must be like seeing Trump at a Black Lives Matter march with AOC. And I know that part of the reason Trump resisted wearing a mask for so long is because he's very self-conscious about his image. Right, that's why he didn't want to do it. So let me go on record as saying, President Trump, don't listen to any of the haters out there who are saying you look like a diabetic Bane or Shredder from the Ninja Turtles if all he shredded was cheese. 


You look great, so please keep wearing that mask. So the good news is that Trump finally seems to be catching up to the reality of the pandemic. But you know Trump. Now he has to pretend that he was doing a great job the whole time, which means he has to find someone else to blame for doing a bad job. And you'll never guess who he picked. The president and the nation's top infectious disease doctor are not on speaking terms. Now the White House is trying to discredit Dr. Anthony Fauci. 


NEWSWOMAN: Fauci now says he hasn't briefed the president in over two months, and hasn't actually seen him at the White House since June 2. 


NEWSWOMAN 2: In a stunning development, some administration officials are treating him like a political rival, releasing what they say is a list of questionable statements by Dr. Fauci, even though many of them were taken out of context or widely accepted in the early days of the pandemic. 


Last night, Mr. Trump fueled the apparent feud between him and Dr. Anthony Fauci. "Unlike me, who's not a very nice man, but has never made any miblakes." This is positively insane. Donald Trump is spending more time trying to defeat Dr. Fauci than defeating the coronavirus. Can you imagine doing actual opposition research about someone on your own team? It's like if Ben put out a press release saying that Jerry personally sneezes in every pint of Chunky Monkey. You both lose. And don't get it twisted. I'm not saying Dr. Fauci never got anything wrong. 


I'm not saying that. Every expert in the world got some thing wrong when Covid-19 first emerged, because it was something they'd never seen before. Hence, novel. It's like when you first start baking bread, you don't know how to prepare yeast properly. But then, after three months of baking it, you've got enough experience to know that you can just get that shit at the store. I mean, we're four months into a global pandemic, and the leader of the free world just started wearing a mask. 


This is the same person who was thinking about bleaching his lungs, and now he's trying to point his tiny fingers at Dr. Fauci? But if you ask me, the worst part about all of this is that the White House isn't just attacking Dr. Fauci. They're doing it like cowards with leaks to the press. If you're gonna go after someone, at least give them the respect to be up front about it, like this. 


NEWSWOMAN: As the coronavirus pandemic rages and cases rise uncontrollably, there's one man to blame-- Anthony Fauci. Fauci says he's a doctor, but what kind of doctor doesn't wear a stethoscope? And if he's really a doctor, why is he so short? We don't need leaders who adjust their assessment when they get new information. We need leaders who stick with their gut assessment, despite new information. That's going to sort of... -just disappear. -It's going to disappear. 


NEWSWOMAN: If Fauci cares so much about saving lives, why didn't he do anything about the Spanish Flu? -And if he loved Americans so much, why is he palling around with suspicious immigrants? Anthony Fauci-- definitely the only person to blame for this whole situation. 


Oh, boy. I think Trump is going to do pretty well against Dr. Fauci in November. That's our show for tonight. But before we go, America is facing a nationwide poll worker shortage. And it's because most poll workers are over 60. And with COVID still in the air, they are understandably not showing up. But fewer poll workers means fewer polling stations are gonna be open and it means longer lines that not everybody can afford to stay and wait in, especially people of color in working-class areas. 


But the good news is most poll working is paid, and, in some states, you can be as young as 16 to do it. So if you're interested and you have the time to be a poll worker and you have the time to increase the chances of your democracy succeeding, this is your chance to save Granny, protect your democracy, and get paid. Sign up at the link below to learn more. Until tomorrow, stay safe out there and wear a mask. Like the president.

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