沉默的危险
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., in a 1968 speech where he reflects upon the Civil Rights Movement, states, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
As a teacher, I’ve internalized① this message. Every day, all around us, we see the consequences of silence manifest themselves in the form of discrimination, violence, genocide② and war.
① internalize: [ɪnˈtɜːrnəlaɪz]v. if you internalize a particular belief, attitude, behavior etc, it becomes part of your character. 使……内在化
② genocide: [ˈdʒenəsaɪd]n. the deliberate murder of a whole group or race of people. 种族灭绝;屠杀
In the classroom, I challenge my students to explore the silences in their own lives through poetry.
We work together to fill those spaces, to recognize them, to name them, to understand that they don’t have to be sources of shame. In an effort to create a culture within my classroom where students feel safe sharing the intimacies③ of their own silences.
③ intimacy: [ˈɪntɪməsi]n. things you say or do to someone you have a close relationship with. 隐私;秘密
I have four core principles posted on the board that sits in the front of my class, which every student sign at the beginning of the year: read critically, write consciously, speak clearly, tell your truth.
And I find myself thinking a lot about that last point, tell your truth. And I realized that if I was going to ask my students to speak up, I was going to have to tell my truth and be honest with them about the times where I failed to do so.
So I tell them that growing up, as a kid in a Catholic family in New Orleans, during Lent④ I was always taught that the most meaningful thing one could do was to give something up, sacrifice something you typically indulge in to prove to God you understand his sanctity⑤.
④ Lent: the 40 days before Easter when some Christians eat less food or stop doing something that they enjoy. 四旬斋;齐斋节
⑤ sanctity: [ˈsæŋktəti]n. the holy or religious character of a person or a place. 神圣;圣洁
I’ve given up soda, McDonald’s, French fries, French kisses, and everything in between. But one year, I gave up speaking. I figured the most valuable thing I could sacrifice was my own voice, but it was like I hadn’t realized that I had given that up a long time ago.
I spent so much of my life telling people the things they wanted to hear instead of the things they needed to, told myself I wasn’t meant to be anyone’s conscience because I still had to figure out being my own, so sometimes I just wouldn’t say anything, appeasing⑥ ignorance with my silence, unawarethat validation doesn’t need words to endorse⑦ its existence.
⑥ appease: [əˈpiːz]v. to make someone less angry or stop them from attacking you by giving them what they want. 安抚;安慰
⑦ endorse: [ɪnˈdɔːrs]v. to express formal support or approved for someone or something. 证明;支持
When Christian was beat up for being gay, I put my hands in my pocket and walked with my head down as if I didn’t even notice. I couldn’t use my locker for weeks because the bolt⑧ on the lock reminded me of the one I had put on my lips when the homeless man on the corner looked at me with eyes up merely searching for an affirmation that he was worth seeing.
⑧ bolt: [boʊlt]n. a metal bar that you slide across a door or window to fasten it. 门窗的闩;插销
I was more concerned with touching the screen on my Apple than actually feeding him one. When the woman at the fundraising gala said “I’m so proud of you. It must be so hard teaching those poor, unintelligent kids.” I bit my lip, because apparently we needed her money more than my students needed their dignity.
We spend so much time listening to the things people are saying that we rarely pay attention to the things they don’t. Silence is the residue⑨ of fear. It is feeling your flaws gut-wrench⑩ guillotine⑪ your tongue. It is the air retreating from your chest because it doesn’t feel safe in your lungs.
⑨ residue: [ˈrezɪduː]n. a substance that remains on the surface, in a container etc and cannot be removed easily, or that remains after a chemical process. 残渣;残留物
⑩ gut-wrench: [ˈɡʌtrentʃ]adv. make you feel very upset or anxious. 极度痛苦地
⑪ guillotine: [ˈɡɪlətiːn]v. to cut off someone’s head using guillotine. 把(某人)送上断头台;切断
Silence is Rwandan genocide. Silence is Katrina. It is what you hear when there aren’t enough body bags left. It is the sound after the noose is already tied. It ischarring⑫. It is chains. It is privilege. It is pain. There is no time to pick your battles when your battles have already picked you.
⑫ charring: [tʃɑrɪŋ]v. to burn something so that its outside becomes black. 碳化
I will not let silence wrap⑬ itself around my indecision. I will tell Christian that he is a lion, a sanctuary⑭ of bravery and brilliance. I will ask that homeless man what his name is and how his day was, because sometimes all people want to be is human.
⑬ wrap: [ræp]v. to put sth firmly around sth/sb. 紧紧缠绕
⑭ sanctuary: [ˈsæŋktʃueri]n. a peaceful place that is safe and provides protection, especially for people who are in danger. 保护所;庇护所
I will tell that woman that my students can talk about transcendentalism⑮like their last name was Thoreau, and just because you watched one episode of “The Wire” doesn’t mean you know anything about my kids.
⑮ transcendentalism: [trænsenˈdentəl-ɪzm]n. the belief that knowledge can be obtained by studying thought rather than practical experience. 先验论;超验主义
So this year, instead of giving something up, I will live every day as if there were a microphone tucked⑯ under my tongue, a stage on the underside of my inhibition. Because who has to have a soapbox when all you’ve ever needed is your voice? Thank you.
⑯ tucked: [tʌkt]v. to put something into a small space, especially in order to protect, hide, carry, or hold it. 把……塞进……;把……藏入……
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